Why Is Everyone So Mean To Me? 13 Reasons By a Therapist

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18 January 2024

9 Mins

Do you often find yourself wondering, "Why is everyone so mean to me?" You make an effort to be kind to others, yet somehow, you end up facing unkind behavior from those around you. It can be a frustrating and quite common experience that makes you question why it happens.

To understand why, we'll dig into some possible reasons and share friendly tips on how to handle unkind people when they cross your path.

Why is Everyone So Mean to Me — 13 Reasons

Are you curious why people sometimes aren't as kind as we expect? Some naturally have a mean streak, while others act mean when facing challenges. But why does this happen? Let's explore 13 possible reasons why people are unkind and mean to you.

1. Communication issues

Have you ever found yourself wondering why people are less kind, despite your efforts to be nice? Sometimes, people might act mean because they have poor communication (trouble saying or understanding what they really need). It’s also possible that people who are mean might have tough situations going on at home that they can't talk about. When they have a hard time at home, they stay frustrated all the time and might act mean to others. So, this could be the reason why they're not being nice or tend to act mean.

2. Social power

People who are mean to you might think that being unkind is how they can be in power. When they're alone, they might not be as mean as in front of you or others. However, being in a group, if they see their friends being mean, they join in because they don't want to feel left out.

Even if they get some popularity from this behavior, it's not real. It's based on making others afraid of them and having a fake kind of popularity that won't last. This behavior often comes from a place of fear and loneliness. Those who resort to meanness might feel insecure inside, and by making others afraid, they try to cover up their own vulnerabilities.

Social power

3. Insecurities

We all have moments when we feel less confident or a bit down about ourselves, isn’t it? During those times, we might not be as friendly as we wish to be. Now, that doesn't excuse their behavior, but it might help explain why they're behaving badly. In some cases, people may project their internal issues onto others, making it seem like the problem lies with you when, in reality, it's their own insecurities speaking.

They might have experienced bullying or unkindness from others, and now they're treating you in a similar way. They think being mean to you will make them feel better, even though it's not the right way to handle their own struggles.

4. Jealousy

Sometimes, when you think about why is everyone so mean to me, it might be because they feel jealous. They could be envious of something about you, like your appearance, your good grades, your nice clothes, or your friends. Jealousy can make people act in strange ways.

However, regardless of whether jealousy is the root cause, it's a good thing to remember all the great things about yourself and your life. Thinking about the positive stuff can help you feel better when others are unkind. Jealousy doesn't reflect anything about you, but it's often about how the other person feels about themselves and their situation.


5. Having a bad day

Has everyone always been unkind to you, or is this a recent change in their behavior? If they don't usually behave like this, it's possible that they are going through a hard time and are feeling a bit grumpy.

If you're close to them, consider having an open and honest conversation. Gently ask if there's anything bothering them and let them know that you care about their feelings. When you create a space for them to share, it can strengthen your connection and offer support during challenging times.

6. Feeling superior

Some people behave unkindly and act like they're better than others for no good reason. They might believe they're superior just because they have more money or different tastes. But being favored, whether it's about someone's class, race, sexual orientation, gender, or anything else, isn't logical or fair.

Sometimes, people who act this way have learned these biases from their families without realizing it's hurtful. Even though they might not see it, it's still not right to treat others that way.

Feeling superior

7. Not enough self awareness

In some cases, people might not even realize that they're acting mean. Their behavior isn't coming from a place of wanting to hurt you but from a lack of awareness about how to interact socially. This can be especially true for those diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder. They might seem rude or unkind, but it's because they're unaware of social cues and react based on their own feelings.

8. Disagreement with your opinions

People can have varying opinions and beliefs, and sometimes, when you wonder why everyone is so mean to me, it's because of differences in ideas and thoughts. This is just one of the reasons why someone might act unkindly toward you. However, it's crucial not to let the fear of mistreatment stop your expression of thoughts and beliefs.

There can be various reasons behind why everyone is mean to you; talk to a counselor and understand the internal and external factors associated with it for free.

9. Disrespectful

It's possible that their unkind behavior isn't limited to you; they might treat everyone in a similar manner. If their meanness extends to everyone, it reflects more on their own issues than yours, and it's likely they don't have many friends. Not having friends can make someone upset and lonely, which causes a cycle of anger. In this case, being kind might break the cycle and make positive difference in their lives.

10. You are too positive

Are you someone who always tries to be overly nice, perhaps to the point where it might be a bit too much? Do you lean towards an extra positive attitude and avoid discussing anything negative, maybe even when others want to share their problems?

While endless negativity is not pleasing, being overly positive all the time might not resonate well with everyone. If you find yourself leaning towards either extreme, it could be a reason why some people might not respond positively.

You are too positive

11. Attention seeker

It can be a cause of attention, because of which people might act unkind towards you and others. They might tell lies, spread rumors, or act unkind to be in the spotlight. These people usually have their own issues and enjoy making others feel bad.

Unfortunately, in today's digital age, there seems to be a rise in people seeking attention through negativity and drama rather than embracing kindness and peace.

12. Revenge

Ever felt like everyone around you was doing their best to make you feel bad? When it comes to why people are mean — It’s because they try to teach a lesson or take revenge. They might do something unexpected or say something upsetting, but deep down, they aim to seek revenge.

But why do they want to teach you something? What have you done to them? Most of the time, it's because they believe they can control and shape others according to their desires. They may not even realize it, but when you don't follow their rules, they try to teach you a lesson.

13. They don’t respect your presence

Sometimes, people are mean because they don't want you around and don't like your presence. It is best to respect their space and spend time with people who value and respect you. Focus on building positive relationships and being a supportive, positive person. That's the path to true happiness.

they dont respect your presence

How to Deal With Everyone Being Mean

Coping with unkind people can be tough, but here are five easy ways to deal with them:

1. Stay confident

When dealing with why are people mean, remember that their actions often reflect their issues and insecurities, not yours. Maintain your self-confidence and self-esteem. Remind yourself of your strengths and qualities. Knowing that their behavior isn't about you can help you stay strong and not let their negativity affect you.

2. Be kind

Responding to meanness with kindness can sometimes break the cycle of negativity. It's not about being a pushover but maintaining your integrity. Treat the mean person with respect and kindness. They may be surprised by your response and reconsider their actions. With true compassion, you're not only defusing the situation but also showing the power of kindness.

3. Talk about it

If the person who is being mean is open to a conversation, consider discussing the issue. Ask them why they've been acting this way, express your feelings calmly and try to understand their perspective as well. Communication can be a great way to resolve misunderstandings and find common ground. However, keep in mind that this approach may not work if the person isn't willing to engage in a conversation.

4. Lean on your friends

If I personally feel that everyone is so mean to me, I try to surround myself with friends who are positive and supportive. Spending time with friends can provide a sense of belonging and counterbalance the negativity from negative people. Your friends can offer emotional support, advice, and a safe space to share your feelings. Having a strong support system can make it easier to cope with these people.

5. Self-care

Practice self-care to deal with the stress and emotional impact of why are people so mean. Engage in activities that you enjoy and that make you feel good. This might include hobbies such as exercise, reading, or mindfulness techniques. Taking care of your physical and mental well-being is essential. When you focus on self-love and self-compassion, it becomes easier to handle difficult situations and maintain a positive outlook.

How to deal with everyone being mean

How Mental Health Issues Can Lead to This Thought

When you have a feeling that everyone is so mean to me, it might be because you're dealing with mental health issues such as anxiety and depression. Depression and anxiety can make you see the world in a negative way, where everything seems harsh and unfriendly. It's like wearing dark glasses that make everything look gloomy.

If you're struggling with mental health issues, don’t hesitate to get help and let it affect your relationships. Not seeking help at the right time can mess up your emotions and fill you with anger that can eventually make you mean. Getting support and treatment for your mental health can help you see the world in a more positive light and improve your relationships.

How Mental Health Issues Can Lead to This Thought

When to Seek Professional Support

You should consider seeking professional support when you feel that everyone is so mean to me and it starts affecting your daily life and starts showing up in your thought patterns, routine, sleep cycle, and physical life.

If your mental health issues are causing a disruption in your daily routine and you are not able to find the root cause or detach from them, it's essential to find a therapist who can help you work through these feelings and improve your mental health.

With their guidance, you can develop effective strategies to improve your mental health, promote self-understanding, and work towards healthier relationships.

When to seek professional help

How Can Now&Me Help?

There are also online platforms where you can find the right therapist for you. One such platform is Now&Me, with rated experts who are always eager to help you with every mental health and relationship issue.

With our one-on-one consultation calls, you can access valuable support and personalized guidance for your specific situation, beginning at only Rs. 30. Further, you can also download the app and join the supportive community to share your feelings. We have everything you need to overcome your feelings!

People being mean can cause a lot of hindrance to your mental peace and well-being, talk to a counselor to get to the bottom of it for free.

Further Reading

How To Deal with Toxic People: 16 Tips

Tips On How To Deal With Insecurities and Build Self Esteem

What to do when I need someone to talk to about my feelings and problems?

How to Believe in Yourself

How Does Therapy Actually Work?

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