How to Talk to Anyone: 9 Steps

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Sarvika Aggarwal

02 August 2023

7 Mins

Have you always felt that only extroverts can talk to anyone? And being shy and reserved, you just cannot talk to anyone, even though you want to.

Well, that is not true.

Anyone and everyone can talk to anyone. Just because society or you see yourself as a particular person doesn’t mean you can't get out of your comfort zone and build your personality in other amazing ways.

Let’s see what can be done.

Here are Some Ways on How to Talk to Anyone

Start a conversation without much thought

If you put too much thought into how you wish to start a conversation, you might never start it. So here are some ways on how to talk to someone without much thought.

1. Talk like you are talking to a friend

When you start a conversation with someone new, you will get the jitters. So instead of thinking that they are a stranger, start a conversation like you would with someone you know or a friend. You cannot be too friendly with them in your first meeting, but you can talk to them subtly while not letting your nerves control you. For example: Think about how you will strike up a conversation with your friend and relax in the situation.

2. Observe their non-verbal cues

Whenever you start a conversation with someone, notice and observe their non-verbal cues. The way people talk and present themselves says a lot about them and their personalities. So if someone is talking while their arms are crossed against their chest, it represents that they are reserved and might not wish to open that easily. However, if they are engaging with their hands as well, they might be interested in talking to you.

3. Have an open-ended conversation

Most often, a conversation hit the brakes when one starts asking close-ended questions which only require the other person to say yes or no. These types of conversations generally lead to small talk, and no one is able to interact properly. So, if you wish to interact with someone, try to build a conversation starting with open-ended questions like, How do you pass your time? Or How did you end up in this certain job?

start a conversation

Keeping up with the conversation

Once you have started the conversation, the main part is keeping up with it and maintaining it. A lot of people tend to fail at this part because they forget the basics of handling a conversation because of their nervousness. So here are three ways on how to talk to anyone.

1. Listening to the other person

Conversing with others doesn’t only mean talking about yourself and your likes/dislikes; it also means listening to the other person talk about themselves and what they have to say about themselves. So while you are trying to maintain a conversation with someone, also practice listening to them and giving them a nod of acknowledgement.

2. Ask engaging questions

Asking engaging and interesting questions will push your conversation in the right direction. If you ask closed-ended questions and do not show much interest in the conversation, it will hit a dead end. So ask questions like, How was your childhood like? Or Where do you see yourself in the next few years? This will keep the conversation running smoothly.

3. Get a bit personal

People will not get personal with you if you do not start getting a bit personal. Once you start sharing something that is personal to you, it will nudge the other person to get personal with you. You can keep the conversation question oriented while also sharing about your personal life, as this will make the conversation more balanced and you both will be able to form a good bond.

keeping up with a conversation

Avoid getting too much into your head

When you think too much about what your thoughts are saying, you tend to run away from the things that scare you the most. So if you wish to talk to someone without getting nervous, it is best not to get into your head too much and be spontaneous.

1. Avoid asking too many questions

When you are nervous, you may start asking too many unrelated questions, which just come off as strange to the other person. Try to keep the conversation two-sided by sharing your thoughts while asking relevant questions. Make sure that the other person doesn’t feel interrogated and questioned; that may make them uncomfortable and out of place.

2. Do not make assumptions

Go into the conversation without having any preconceived notions about the other person. The other person will come from a different place and background, and their values and beliefs will differ from yours, but just because they do, doesn’t make them wrong or bad. Have an open-minded conversation where you listen to their point of view without making assumptions or judgments.

3. Do not wander from the conversation

While talking to the other person, it might get difficult to stay in the present or not daydream. However, this may be seen in the way you behave or respond to their talk. Just because your mind wanders off, do not start with a new topic or cut off the other person while they are sharing something important; that may come off as rude and uninviting. It is okay to ask them to repeat whatever they said so that you do not respond incorrectly or come off as impolite to them.

avoid getting too much into your head

How can seeking Online Counseling with Now&Me help?

Our platform, Now&Me, is a safe place that makes you feel light by writing out whatever is weighing you down and helps you find solutions by sharing your thoughts. It helps you engage with others and makes you understand how to form good relationships. Become a part of the larger community and understand yourself and how to talk to anyone by seeking guidance through online counseling.

When you do not understand or know how to talk to anyone, sign up on Now&Me and seek guidance. Be a part of a non-judgmental, inclusive, and friendly community. A platform made for you to readily ask for help, understand how to talk to anybody, and let our therapists help you with proper guidance and support.

Invest in your mental health and download the Now&Me app for free!


You can start a conversation with a stranger without feeling awkward by talking to them with the mindset that you are talking to a friend or someone you already know. If you go in thinking that - how will you talk? Or if you ruin it, you might just do that. But if you talk with a positive mindset, you will be able to talk without feeling any awkwardness.

If you run out of things to say during a conversation, you can always let the other person take the lead. You can ask them relevant questions so that you have new topics to talk about, or you can let them take the conversation further. You don’t have to necessarily talk about something interesting; you can always talk about relatable things or things that might seem boring to others, as that is how you get to know the person.

You can overcome your fear of talking to new people by seeking counseling and taking help from therapists and experts on Now&Me. You can understand the root cause of your fear with the help of renowned therapists and effectively tackle it with healthy coping mechanisms.

If a person seems uninterested in the conversation, you can talk to them about a common area of interest or ask them relevant questions that might pique their interest and lead to a fruitful conversation.

You can keep a conversation going by talking about relevant topics and areas of interest. Do not try to unnecessarily fill the gaps by bringing up topics or things that might bore the other individual. Keep the conversation personal and about things that you both are interested in.

When you are talking to someone for the first time, avoid talking about anything personal. Do not immediately ask them about things that might be personal, emotional, or triggering.

You can make a good first impression by not impersonating yourself to be someone and being yourself in the whole conversation, confidently and without trying to impress the other person deliberately.

If you say something offensive or inappropriate, the best thing to do is apologize to the other person and own up to your mistake.

You can improve your listening skills by giving the other person room to talk, being conscious and present when the other person is speaking, and showing that you are listening through your non-verbal cues.

Whenever you are getting to know someone, it is important to ask their name and address them whenever possible, as that makes the other person feel heard and valued. You can remember their name by using it every now and then in the conversation.

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