At every point in our lives, we have had to deal with toxic people who have had a great impact on us and drained our energies. These people are not so quick to recognize but there are some signs to help you look out for them and understand how to deal with them.
First, let’s see what an actual toxic person is.
What is a Toxic Person?
A toxic person is someone who subtly knows how to get things done, gaslights people, is manipulative, overwhelms people easily, and always leaves you feeling negative and confused about yourself.
In simple terms, toxic people are unhealthy people who do not have any boundaries and do whatever they wish to do for their own benefit.
Signs of Toxic Behavior
People who are toxic have a certain vibe and aura, which can affect you negatively. So to stay away from such people, here are some signs to look out for:
- Always talking about negative things
- Manipulating you subtly to get things done
- Constantly judging you and the people they meet
- Selfish about their needs
- They have a problem with everyone
- Always leaves you feeling drained or restless
- Not respecting your boundaries
- Making you feel bad about your mistakes constantly
- Always confused and unsure about themselves
- Drama follows them wherever they go
16 Tips on How to Deal with Toxic People
It is easy to get drawn to toxic people, as they make you feel empathetic towards them and manipulate you into believing they are helpless and need assistance. However, it is important to look at things objectively and protect yourself. Here are 16 tips on how to deal with toxic people.
1. Maintain your boundaries
When it comes to offering empathy and a listening ear to someone toxic, it is important that you maintain your boundaries and avoid being drawn in by their negative aura. This can severely affect you and your mental health, which can lead to you doubting yourself and your surroundings.
2. Take them at face value
When talking to a toxic person, rather than getting empathetic and providing them support, take them at face value, which means listening to them but not overindulging yourself into it as it may affect you later. Whatever they say or do, take it at face value instead of overthinking about it.
3. Put yourself first
It is crucial to learn to put yourself first and not let toxic people affect your energy when you are around them. It is easy to get swayed, as toxic people have manipulative traits and mostly want attention. So while you are with such people, whether it is at a gathering or in your workplace, be kind to them but do not let them make a home in your mind.
4. Avoid getting into the drama
It is natural to get sucked into drama when it is started by toxic people. However, it is important to maintain your distance and be conscious of whom you are interacting with, as toxic people can easily sway the conversation towards you and make you the center of attention.
5. Be kind, but do not harm yourself
Toxic people are also humans, so it is important to be kind to them and not treat them poorly. However, there is a thin line between being kind and being kind to such a level that you end up helping them, so try not to get influenced by their stories and energy and be firm and protect your energy.
6. Talk to them
If the other person is close to you and you deeply care about them and your friendship with them, it is better to talk to them about their toxic behavior. If you think your friend has scope for improvement and has changed in a negative way, you can be honest with them instead of letting things be. However, if they are rigid, you need to keep some distance from them so it doesn’t affect your mental state.
7. Focus on the reality
When you understand the other person’s personality and how they function, be conscious of it and do not let it influence you in the wrong way. Try to focus on the reality of the person and look at them objectively rather than through a lens of empathy.
8. Stand your ground
If that person tries to invade your personal space and disrespects your boundaries, it is important that you are firm and stand your ground so they don’t get the pass that you are always available for them.
9. Don’t take things personally
When you have learned about their personality and behavior, do not take whatever they say or do personally. Just be kind and attentive to whatever they are saying or doing but when you leave them, do not carry the burden with you. Just leave it be.
10. Understand that their behavior isn’t about you
When you understand that this is how the other person functions, try to understand that their behavior isn’t about you. Toxic people are usually projecting their inner conflicts onto other people, as that seems easier than healing themselves. So whenever they do something that may make you question or doubt yourself, try to understand that it isn’t about you but about them.
11. Use strategic empathy
When it comes to dealing with toxic people, do not become overly indulgent or kind. Use strategic empathy, which shows that you understand but do not try to help them as such or make it your responsibility to help them. Keep a distance even when it comes to showing care and empathy, as that person will understand that you have boundaries and won’t affect you much after that.
12. Don’t try to fix them
If you are someone who loves helping people and finds it hard to not just let them be, it is important to remember that you can only help someone if they wish to help themselves. So when you see someone who has accepted themselves as they are, do not try to fix them or pester them to get help. Listen to them but maintain your boundaries at the same time.
13. Listen to your gut
Your intuition and gut are your best friends when it comes to choosing people whom you can trust and count on. So, if you get surrounded by people who give you mixed signals, your gut instinct will let you know if you should approach them or not. Listen to it and take it as advice from your loved one.
14. Know when to walk away
When you know that someone is draining your energy, it is important to know when to walk away from them. Because if you keep giving in too much and do not get anything in return, it will absolutely leave you feeling empty and restless.
15. Offer compassion and protect your energy
When it comes to interacting with toxic people, do not be rude or treat them badly; just be compassionate and kind to them but also remember to protect your energy and not let them hinder your peace just because they want mental assistance.
16. Seek professional help
When you feel you are not able to get yourself out of another person’s toxicity, it is best to consult an online therapist who will help you see things more clearly and will provide you with helpful resources to distance yourself from that person. You can consult an expert from Now&Me and get instant guidance at a cost as low as Rs. 30.
How Can Now&Me Help?
Our platform, Now&Me, is a safe place that helps you feel lighter by writing out whatever is weighing you down. It helps you engage with others and makes you look at your situation from a logical and solution-oriented perspective instantly, at a cost as low as Rs. 30. Become a part of the larger community and learn how to deal with toxic people through online counseling with Now&Me.
When you do not understand how to not let other people’s toxicity get to you, sign up on Now&Me and seek professional guidance from our experts. Be a part of a non-judgmental, inclusive, and friendly community where our experts help you understand whatever is troubling you.
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The Bottom Line
Dealing with toxic people can be hard but once you have understood how that person is brought up and functions, you learn to deal with them accordingly. However, it is important to remember that it is not your responsibility to fix them or make them see the bigger picture. You can surely help them if they really ask for it but if you see them harming your mental peace, it is best to maintain your boundaries and interact enough that it doesn’t affect you in the long run.