Home / Thoughts / There are lots of problem with which people are d...
Anonymous

There are lots of problem with which people are dealing all over the world.
We are men and we are meant to be strong… don’t know where did this statement come from.
I lost my father in May 2020 and then had break up.
I feel like being heartsick and melancholy.
I think positive but still these events had an huge negative impact on my mind, soul and my personality.

11 Comments
Post anonymously?
Anonymous

Okay! First of all, Really sorry for your father’s loss and your break up. I hope things get better soon.
Second, C’mon we are living in 21st century, though there are some people who think like men are strong… they are not supposed to cry or be emotional but you need to understand that you’re a living being before a man and you have feelings, being sad or crying is a state of heart and mind, YOU CAN AND YOU MUST CRY IT OUT COMPLETELY, So that you do not need to take any extra burden on your heart and mind which you’re not supposed to. Already dealing with two losses in itself is a big burden especially when it comes to your father, then why not hug someone, open up and cry it out? Is there any fear of being judged? Or you do not trust those who are in your surrounding? Or are you need of some physical affection? You need to figure it out and let your emotions out instead of holding on to them.
Because man! Change is inevitable and we will have to deal with it, today or tomorrow we all are going to lose our parents. Today or tomorrow we or someone else will lose love of their life because it’s not always that we will get to marry those whom we love. There can be many problems in any relationship and it’s hard to get over them. Some takes a few weeks, some takes months or even years. And if you move on that doesn’t mean you were never in love, you will find someone else… because that’s what the rule of life is. You’ll find someone who is supposed to spent life with you and you never know if you will be able to love this girl more than who you broke up with. Wait for opportunity and be ready for the changes and let the past go. Don’t hang on to your past because as long as you’re stuck on your past, you won’t be able to head on to future. You can not bring back either of the people you lost, so understand this was meant to happen and it did. So focus on what is right next to you and what you need to deal with now. Open your arms and welcome the opportunities you have on your way. Meanwhile find a friend who you can trust and is willing to be there on the path of your journey towards your goal. Hug them, listen to them, have fun with them, be with them, eat their head, call them in midnight and cry and tell them that you need them. Write them long paragraphs about feelings and your needs and everything you wish to and don’t take burden of society’s saying that men don’t cry. It’s a very natural phenomenon to cry and you must otherwise you might get a heartattack and I suppose your friends would hate themselves for letting this happen to you. So goodluck… go ahead and do whatever hell you want to… IT’S YOUR LIFE AND YOU’RE GOING TO DECIDE WHAT YOU NEED TO DO. It’s completely fine whatever happened in your past and that does not define what kind of person you’re. You are what you will be deciding now. Let the world know that you’re sure as hell ready to face any situation which comes in your way and you may fall but you will rise again and jump like never before.

Anonymous

(2/2) Also you were talking about feeling lonely, that’s maybe because the recent negative incidents you faced in your life and no matter how positive you try to think, there must be always a time of the day when you would be feeling lonely and all the negativity in your head and not feeling like talking to anyone. I suggest you to start writing, either in your journal or in your friend’s chat box, find a friend who can listen to you without judging you and I am sure they will listen to you. I suggest you to step out and indulge yourself in the activities which might help you in making your career or if you are already a professional, start taking classes through zoom or other platforms. If you’re a student start some courses, start reading books, involve yourself in conference calls from professionals, watch YouTube videos, help somebody, make someone smile, be creative, create something different. I know it will be hard to do all these things as you might feel lazy and maybe like… I don’t wanna do it, I don’t feel like doing it but at that same time, call your friend and discuss about what you’re thinking and then ask them some questions related to the subjects or discuss about current news… debate, this might help. Okay? I hope you’ll do at least one of so many activities I suggested and try to change your life. And I will get back to this conversation if I come up with any new idea. Oh! Btw! If you need you can take professional therapist’s help as well. Don’t go according to society’s norms. It’s okay to consult a therapist. If nothing works, this surely will. Also, one important thing, do not hide your feelings, do not supress them, right? There might be some people with whom you might open up and then they will just show sympathy and won’t actually listen to you, who you need is someone who can listen to you, to your past, to your memories with your dad, to your plans about future so find someone who is willing to. Don’t waste your time on those people who have always been just showing sympathy and not actually doing anything about your feelings. Be safe and healthy, take care! I wish everything gets well soon in your life.

Anonymous

I want to cry but it doesn’t happen,I have totally changed due to such events.
I want to share but don’t know what stops me… may be it feels like I want sympathy from people for whatever happened in my life.
That’s what stops me at first place.
Haha… Time flies…
I used be a good artist few months back but now it seems I have lost everything or I am on urge of losing everything constantly.
Nothing makes me happy.
My happiness just passed away with my father. I needed my girl to be with me that time but she as well left. Everything burns inside of me… but whenever I smoke weed it gets calm.

Anonymous

One, Weed! I used to be an addict of something too and I can surely say that - Well it can be an escape for a little time but it can’t give you the permanent solution for your problems and you need to find permanent solutions. For eg. Continuing with your art or doing something which will enhance your career basically you need to indulge yourself in other activities.

Two, is there anything wrong if you seek for sympathetic love from anyone from your friend list? Like if anyone would come to you and will ask you that hey! Could please be with me for some time, it’s really need of an hour… I need someone by my side, I need someone to listen to me? Is that wrong? Asking someone to stay with you is wrong, just because you’re a man? Ofcourse not! Let yourself do all these things. And note, by sympathetic love I don’t mean showing sympathy a few times, the other person needs to understand your situation and be with you and for that you need to allow yourself to open upto them.

Third, An artist once will always be an artist. No matter what, whatever you used to do, Please continue with that, it might remind you of people from your past but again that’s your talent and in the end it’s your career and talent which should matter for you and I am sure your father would have wanted you to be a successful artist. 😄 What kind of artist are you?

Anonymous

And would you like to share how you bonded with your father? Tell me more about your chemistry with him. I’d like to know more.

Anonymous

I am a photographer and I write as well.
And I think my problem is that I can’t share now… open up nhi ho pata ab.
This year is fucking nightmare for the whole world 😄

Anonymous

I was very close with him… still hun… and har koi hota hi h apne parents se.
I can’t describe the intimacy of relation in words.
Now he’s gone and I have to carry forward his legacy.

Anonymous

Wow! A photographer and a writer, why don’t you combine both the things and come up with a new project? I’m sure you must have thought about it but look it from a different angle and create something new. Yes, the year is nightmare for everyone but change your perspective and see it has given everyone the opportunity to do what they have always wanted to do but didn’t got the time… and also to those who thought that I want an year break so that I can figure out what I need to do. Look it at from that side, see how things change… you’ve got time to do things properly otherwise if it were 2019, probably you’d have been running here and there with no clarity, so make use of this year unless and until you come in contact of virus.
And just specified that you need to carry the legacy your dad left for you, so go on with it. Work 100 times harder, don’t give any damn person to come and tell you that you cannot do it, because you CAN. You can do whatever the fuck you want, you got the power of pen and words and your vision, I suppose that must be beautiful. Combine them and create what everyone haven’t seen because as much as I know everyone is trying to copy each others these days, you take out old memories, dig into history, put your love for your father in your art. I’m sure that will take a hit because your father wouldn’t have wanted you to sit and watch others grow and see you cry for someone who won’t matter in your life in next 10 years, he has left your mother for you, be with her, be the biggest proud she will carry on her shoulders. And maybe your father left you in the time of pandemic so that you can discover who you’re and work towards your goals and have enough of time to not to run. :)
Tell me more what you miss these days?

Anonymous

i am really sorry for your loss. even though I don’t know you, I am sure you are strong and will gather up the courage to deal with this. that doesn’t mean you don’t have to feel sad. cry it out, talk it out.

b

Hey Love, sorry to hear about your Father and the break up you had to go through. More strength to you for trying your best to stay positive in these tough times. Your Dad is at peace my Love. Smile for him💙

a

I lost my dad in feburary. Ik its soooo hard. Grief is the worst thing to deal with