Why Do Men Cheat in Relationships? 21 Possible Reasons

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Sarvika Aggarwal

19 December 2023

9 Mins

Nowadays, there has been an increase in the statistics of cheating on your partner. To put it in simple terms, cheating is when a person betrays their partner’s trust and is disloyal to them.

Being cheated on by someone can be extremely painful. However, cheating is a sign of carrying traumatic and unhealed patterns that come between the couple and break the bond entirely.

Let’s see why do people cheat in relationships and why men are more likely to engage in this kind of behavior than women.

How Common is Cheating?

The commonality of cheating cannot be generalized, as every country has its own set of people and values. However, it has been seen that men are more likely to cheat, but married women also tend to get into extra-marital affairs due to boredom and a lack of love from the family.

Overall, men tend to engage in this behavior more than women. If you wonder why do men cheat or why do married men cheat, let’s find out below.

how common is cheating

What Percentage of Men Cheat?

It has been seen that men are 20% more likely to cheat by engaging in physical relationships than women. The statistics for women stand at 13%. However, with age, cheating and infidelity among men increase.

Men between the ages of 30 and 39 are more likely to cheat on their partners. Most of them do not even feel guilty if they cheat because the women they previously dated did not meet their needs properly.

what percentage of men cheat

21 Reasons Why Do Men Cheat in Relationships

If you are questioning whether your partner is cheating on you and wondering what might be the reason for it, here are 21 reasons why men cheat. It is a human tendency to take things upon yourself and blame yourself if your partner cheats on you.

However, whenever a person cheats, they have inner conflicts about which they are probably ashamed or embarrassed. So, let’s see why men cheat or why married men cheat.

1. Lack of maturity

When a man engages in infidelity and cheats on you, it is a sign of a lack of maturity. If they do not wish to take things to a higher level and be responsible for the relationship, it is better to talk about it. However, they do not have the strength to initiate the conversation and do things that hinder other people.

2. Childhood trauma

A lot of times, there are unhealed wounds that tend to show up in your relationships. For example: if a man cheats on you, he probably would have seen his father doing the same thing with his mother and must’ve considered it okay to cheat in their relationship.

3. Desire for pleasure

There are times when a man wishes to get pleasure from his partner but those advances are not fulfilled by his current partner. So instead of talking about it, they cheat on their partner with someone who pleases them.

desire for pleasure in relationships

4. They choose to

Cheating on your partner is a choice. So if your partner consciously chooses to cheat on you, knowing how much it can hurt you, then they clearly do not deserve you and have some maturing and healing to do.

5. Selfishness

At times, a man cheats on his partner out of selfishness for his needs and desires. Instead of talking about it, he goes out and does things that are not right but he feels it is fine as long as his needs are met.

6. Lack of appreciation

An important aspect of any relationship is appreciation and while no relationship is perfect, there can be times when you might feel a lack of appreciation from your partner. In times like these, it is important to talk to them and have radically honest conversations with them. However, if a man isn’t aware of that and goes out to seek appreciation and validation, ending up falling for another person, then it is their fault.

While there can be a lot of reasons why men cheat, it is best to talk it out with a relationship counselor so you and your partner can navigate the conversation properly and not take any impulsive decisions that hinder the foundation of the relationship.

7. Lack of attention and love

When a man doesn’t feel loved or gets any attention from his partner, he tends to go out and find people to fill that void. The mature way to handle this is to talk to your partner; however, if he isn’t aware of that or has preconceived notions about what his partner will say, then they end up cheating.

8. Not getting what they want

When a man doesn't get what they want from a relationship, they tend to avoid telling the other person about it and instead find someone who fills that gap.

9. Figuring out things

When the man you are dating isn’t sure of what they want in life or out of a relationship, they wish to explore things and end up cheating.

figuring out things in relationship

10. To run away from things

A lot of men use cheating or infidelity to run away from things or hurt themselves or other people, as that makes them feel better about themselves. People who find comfort in chaos tend to do these things.

11. Coping mechanism

A lot of men use cheating or exploring casual relationships as a coping mechanism. This makes them feel like life is easy and breezy and they end up suppressing things that need to be faced, like their relationship.

12. Lack of intimacy

When a man doesn’t get the kind of intimacy they want from their relationship, they go out looking for something that fulfills that intimacy.

lack of intimacy in relationship

13. Ego issue

A lot of men tend to cheat on their partners because of ego problems. When it comes to relationships, you have to shed your ego and talk to the other person, even if you have your own share of anger and frustration for them. However, if you are not mature enough to do that, you might end up running away from that emotion or relationship by cheating on them to ease the ego hurt.

14. Self-esteem issues

When you have low self-esteem, you get thoughts like you do not deserve the other person or you should be with someone else. Extreme thoughts like these can lead to wrong decisions, like cheating on your partner or betraying their trust.

15. Insecurities

When you have insecurities within yourself, they tend to come up in your relationship and make you doubt yourself and your partner’s bond. You go through extreme phases where you do not feel secure within the relationship because you do not feel secure with yourself. Because of this chaos, you tend to cheat on your partner.

insecurities in relationship

16. Needs are not met

It is important that your expectations for your partner are on the same page. However, when your needs and desires aren’t met properly, you tend to cheat on your partner.

17. Lack of acknowledgement

In any relationship, you wish your partner would acknowledge you and make you feel the happiest. However, when you do not get that energy from your partner, you tend to cheat on them.

18. Modern trend

Nowadays, cheating has severely increased because of the modern trending dating apps, where people can like a person with just a swipe. These kinds of trends and new technologies can hinder the beauty of commitments and choosing that one person every day.

modern trend for relationships

19. Adrenaline rush

A lot of men tend to cheat just because of the adrenaline rush it provides. For some men, this is what fun and enjoyment look like and that is why they tend to cheat on their partner.

20. Commitment issues

When the person you are dating has commitment issues, they tend to look for casual relationships and hurt you because of their inner conflicts. In such cases, it is important to be on the same page with your partner, if you are not, it will lead to consequences.

21. They want something else from life

A lot of men tend to cheat because they want something else from life or relationship. The ideal way to deal with such a situation is to confront your partner and be honest with them. However, if you do not use that approach, you end up cheating on them.

your partner wants something else from life

What to do if your Man is Cheating on you

If you find out your man is cheating on you, it is okay if you feel upset, angry, or wonder why do men cheat. Do not assume that he did it because of you; instead, confront them and ask them the reason for doing it.

It is okay if you want to leave them and never talk to them again, but it is important to know the reason so that you get closure and do not overthink the situation or take things upon yourself.

Once you get to know the reason, you can leave the man if you wish to. The decision is all yours. However, remember that there is a lot more to a relationship than love. A relationship asks for commitment and choosing the same person every day, even if that person angers or frustrates you at times.

what to do if your man is cheating

How can Now&Me help?

Our platform, Now&Me, is a safe place that helps you feel lighter by writing out whatever is weighing you down. It helps you share your feelings out loud and look at things from a solution-oriented perspective. Become a part of the larger community and understand your feelings by seeking online counseling at Now&Me.

When you don’t understand why people cheat in relationships, sign up on Now&Me and get to the bottom of it with our experts. Be a part of a non-judgmental, inclusive, and friendly community. A platform made for you to readily ask for help and let our experts help you with whatever stresses you out.

Download the Now&Me app for free and cultivate good mental health with a panel of qualified experts and a loving community.

Cheating can evoke a feeling of self-doubt and insecurity within you. Talk to a professional expert that helps you move past the hurt without hindering your image of yourself for free.

Takeaway

To sum up, cheating on your partner can happen for many reasons, like childhood trauma, unhealed wounds, not knowing how to handle relationships, or commitment issues. Whatever the reason, cheating is never okay. If you have any doubts or insecurities that might hinder your relationship, it is important to talk to your partner about them without any filter and with complete honesty. Because if you don’t, it will lead to serious consequences.

However, it is important to remember that if you have been a victim of cheating, you deserve more and are worth so much more, so take it as a blessing in disguise and do what your heart tells you to do.

FAQs

Cheaters are usually big flirts, gaslight their partners, have narcissistic tendencies, lack impulse control, and are not conscious of their choices or decisions.

Cheating starts when the person becomes mentally and emotionally detached from the relationship.

Cheating is a sign of a weak person who doesn’t have impulse control, is not conscious of their actions, or doesn’t respect their partner.

Men usually cheat because of low self-esteem, lack of commitment, a lack of love, or an ego boost.

Yes, it is possible to love someone and still cheat on them.

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