Getting over someone you never dated can be very difficult, especially when you might have imagined what dating them would feel like in your head. In these times, you usually lean on your closest friends and wish to run away from the pain.
However, as the old saying goes, time can only heal old wounds, so being in pain and feeling it while trying to move on is the best option that you have. Although it can be difficult to look at things from a logical point of view when you are all emotional and vulnerable. So, here are some tips on how to get over someone you never dated.
Why Getting over Someone you Never Dated is Difficult
Getting over someone you never dated can be more difficult than a breakup, especially if you shared a bond with them but never got to take it forward. When a relationship is over, you have an idea of how it looked, and you tried everything you could, but when it is one-sided, you never get to experience more; you are in a dilemma of what ifs and hope.
Here are some reasons why getting over someone you never dated is hard:
1. Contemplating all the what-ifs
When you do not get to date the person you love, you contemplate all the what-ifs like, was it something you did? Do you hurt them? Or make them feel something, which makes it harder to let go of them.
2. Feeling lonely
One-sided love can be very lonely, as you never get to share your feelings with anyone because of the fear that they might not understand or feel pity for you. So you usually isolate and wallow within yourself.
3. Lack of closure
When you are not officially in a relationship, it is hard to get closure and move on with your life. You keep thinking about the other person and why they didn’t date you.
4. Insecurities and self-doubt
When you do not get a chance to date the person you love, you start contemplating whether it is because of who you are, which also leads to a series of self-doubts and insecurities.
5. Losing hope in love
When you do not get lucky the first time in love, it is possible to generalize the fact that you will never get love, and you end up losing all your hope in it.
10 Tips for How to Get Over Someone You Never Dated
When it comes to heartbreak, sadly, we are all alone. We have to bear the pain alone and cannot expect to be okay within a couple of days or weeks. So here are 10 tips for how to get over a guy you never dated or someone you never dated:
1. Give yourself time
While the feelings of heartbreak are hard to sit with, instead of running away from them, make yourself sit with them. Do not force yourself to not cry or suppress your feelings. It is important that you feel the sadness and pain properly so that your heart feels lighter.
2. Spend time with your loved ones
In times like these, you usually isolate yourself and do not want to talk to anyone. However, that can lead to even more consequences, so push yourself to spend time with your loved ones, who make you feel better and will divert your mind from that person.
3. Cut contact with that person
Although this might be hard, sometimes it is important to let go of the person you love because they have hurt you. You have to make difficult decisions, which will seem hard at the time but will help you in the long run. So avoid checking their social media or stalking them on the internet for your mental peace.
4. Journal your feelings
If you do not wish to share your feelings with anyone, journal them on a piece of paper so you feel better. If you do not understand how to start journaling, you can buy journaling resources from our app, available for Rs. 150/- only, which will give you a headstart on how to write about your feelings and navigate them in a proper manner.
5. Work on building your self-esteem
Not being able to date the person you love can be a huge hit on your self-esteem and insecurities. It might trigger some unnecessary feelings, which might make you question your worth and value. So rather than questioning yourself, start building your self-esteem and confidence by doing things that seem challenging, exploring other people, or creating a newer version of yourself.
6. Detox and go on a trip
When you are hurt and going through so many hurtful emotions, it is best to pack your bags and go on a trip. You might procrastinate, but to feel better, push yourself out of your comfort zone and go somewhere you can see things in a better light.
7. Go out and explore
When you feel dejected, you can download dating apps and explore your options. If you feel that is not your vibe or taste, then you can ask your friends to introduce you to somebody or just go out without any expectations and talk to people until you feel a click with somebody.
8. Make a list of the kind of partner you want
It is important to know what kind of traits you would want in your partner. So make a list of the traits you’d want in your partner and someone you feel the most compatible with. This way, when you go out, you know exactly what you are looking for.
9. Respect their decision
It can be hard not to chase after the person you wish to see a future with. However, it is important that you respect their decision and not invade their personal space. If you keep pestering them about this, it might lead to a serious conflict.
10. Seek professional help
When you feel you are not able to get out of this slump and wish to gain some professional guidance, it is best to seek the help of a renowned psychologist. You can explore Now&Me and get online counseling to understand yourself better and build a better relationship with yourself. You can even try short versions of therapy, which can go for 10-30 minutes according to your time and convenience, at an affordable rate.
How Long Does It Take to Get Over Someone?
Unfortunately, this is a question that no one can really answer. Getting over someone or healing from someone you love has no timeframe, as this happens gradually and you have no control over it. You can distract yourself, put time into healing yourself, and flow with life as it goes, but this process keeps happening in the background with you having no control over it.
When Should You Seek Professional Help?
You should consult an individual therapist when you are not able to get over someone you love or are constantly in a loop of negative thoughts. At times, it is difficult to comprehend your thoughts and feelings, so it is better to talk to someone who is objective and doesn’t judge you for whatever thoughts and feelings you have.
You can talk to a therapist at Now&Me to understand how to get over a guy you never dated and get effective techniques on how to tackle it properly. You can talk to an expert anytime, anywhere, at your convenience via text, audio, or video call.
How can Now&Me help?
Our platform, Now&Me, is a safe place that helps you feel lighter by writing out whatever is weighing you down. It helps you engage with others and makes you look at your situation from a logical and solution-oriented perspective. Become a part of the larger community and understand how to get over someone with Now&Me.
When you do not understand how to get over someone you love, sign up on Now&Me and seek professional guidance from our experts. Be a part of a non-judgmental, inclusive, and friendly community. A platform made for you to readily ask for help and let our experts help you understand whatever is troubling you.
Download the Now&Me app for free and get a good mental health experience with a panel of qualified experts and a loving community.
To sum up, getting over someone you love hurts really badly, especially when you have never dated them and have only known them from a distance. However, distracting yourself and using healthy tactics can help you not fall into a void of depression and anxiety. Moreover, if you wish to seek professional help, it is best to get support and guidance from a renowned and experienced therapist.
There is no easy way to let someone go when all you want is to be with them. However, you can try not to be harsh with yourself and look at the situation a bit more objectively so you can respect the other person’s decision and give yourself the space to feel your emotions completely.
There is no easy way to do this, but consciously trying not to contact the person, spending time with other people who are important to you, distracting yourself by doing things you love, and meeting new people who actually see you for who you are can be quite helpful.
Yes, it is quite normal to feel heartbroken over someone you never dated, as you wish to be with them but cannot be, which can make you feel bad and disheartened.
Sometimes, to feel better, you have to distance yourself from the person who is hurting you. So for the time being, it is better to take a temporary break from that person and spend time with yourself.
You can try to not talk to them that often and spend time with people who actually fuel you up and distract you from that person.