Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

when I was just a little kid, I always stay at home, I didn’t even remember going outside during my childhood times… unlike the other kids playing outdoors and my siblings also when they are just kids… there’s this saying that “Childhood is like when you are drunk, everyone remembers what you did, except you”(ctto)…yes it’s true but I remember this unforgettable childhood memory of mine. When I try to go outside because I want to know what’s going on outside, I saw people out there, and the fact that I’m scared of people the first time I saw them makes me scared the most. I’m scared of people, even on TV, I am scared what’s going on on TV, I’m being ignorant…I can’t even interact with others until now, especially with kids…I don’t know why. But when time goes by, I’m not scared of people at all and I’m happy about that fact but when I was in 3rd grade, 8 years old I guess, I found out that I’m nearsighted, I can see things clearly when they are near but when they are far away from me I can’t see them clear…now, I’m 13 years old, a high school student and in school, I need to bring a cellphone with a good camera to capture what’s written in the blackboard but despite my nearsighted, that doesn’t affect my grades at school, I’m with high honor in our classroom until now. but that’s only in school, everywhere I go, the fact that my friends can experience seeing things clearly whether it’s near or far, unlike me, makes me feel insecure cause they can live a life I always dream of… one day, because I’m curious about my nearsightedness, I search it through the internet and found out that one of the reasons of being nearsighted is spending more time indoors and now I know, I know why I’m experiencing this kind of situation at the age of 8 until now, and note, I never wear glasses or contact lenses and I’m waiting for that day to come cause I’m afraid that this will get worse but I’m still praying and hoping…and one thing, now I realized why I’m afraid of people when I’m just a kid, it’s because I can’t see their face when they are far away and I thought they are different from me, that they don’t have faces and me and my family is the only one who have faces…hahaha, funny right?