Tum hangout ki baat krte ho.. Mujhe to apne room  ko lock krne ki bhi privacy nhi hai... 🥺🙁

Bhai fir to yahi smjh le ki tere gharwale tujhe ghar mei rahne dete hai vahi badi baat hai.. 

3am Thoughts

I m a  from North India,came for studying in South and I feel I m lagging behind compared to childhood friends who are still in North 
Backstory:I came for studying in a 3tier city In south and everything changed.
It was completely different,culturally,socially,I can’t associate with anyone from my class for nearly a long time (south ones) maybe it was language thing and all,but still , they were so different,this affected me socially a lot cuz there’s no one to talk(I m extrovert),my college life is almost over doing nothing,no college trips,no parties ,it’s not that I didn’t make friends,I learnt the language quickly ,so mixed up with them ,nor they treat me as a outsider or something,But I really miss the College fun I would have had ,if I would have been in North college,I don’t know how to cope up with that,I feel I’m lagging behind in my life 😅
All suggestions accepted 

College

What does a normal day feel like. 

Alcohol

Final year ka 1st day...i guess I'm excited 🦋🌸🦋

Happy

Why I don't feel like to laugh ,smile or talk with anyone 😕 everyday I wake up take class without interest then eat sleep repeat everyday I don't even talk with anyone or I can say I don't have anyone to talk with I don't have anyone who is interested in talking with me idk is this early sign of depression or anxiety??? Also I always act I am fine , joyful person but I am not I cry without any reason..

Depression

There's one boy in ofc, I never expected that I will start liking him cz I am so career centric. Never thought someone will like me too. We used to talk not much in the beginning, I started most of the conversation as he was an introvert. I asked him to come with me for outings with my friends. This was just going smoothly I never wanted to take any next move or anything, this was the comfortable zone for me. 
But after few months, I came to know from one of frnd that he was dating one of the ofc girl . And it broke my heart. 
I know we were not in relationship or anything. But the thing which I used to feel abt him, how I used to expect him to be. He was totally opposite of it. Introvert with hidden secrets.
That time, I felt used cz if he never thought abt me the way I used to, then why he never told me abt this. 
He was well aware that I started liking him n he was being nice with me in that way too. I never saw him treating others like he used to treat me.
Then why this... I can't ask him anything n he never asks me anything.
As we were having common friends, he told that his relationship with that girl is not serious, it doesn't have any future. He was dating her just bz he was her first love, he didn't want to hurt her by breaking her heart.
I was like what the hell is this person, after breaking up with her too, she will get hurt. 
N then I realised thank god I never came in relationship with this person.
After their break-up again he started chatting with me, but this time I decided I will not allow anyone to use me.
I don't know he was right or wrong, but if he used to feel the same like me, then his heart wouldn't allow him to date other girl. 
Sometimes I feel like, it must be just an attraction as I never felt being liked by someone before as I always considered my self ugly n think no one will fall for me. 
I just want to stop thinking about him, may be he was never wrong, bz of my overthinking I just exaggerated these all situations. Don't know what but seriously don't want him now in my life like before. Just want to treat him like a friend n nothing more than that. But bz of his behaviour I don't want to talk with him, I used to talk so much with him but now I just can't open my mouth in front of him. I don't feel talking or meeting him. I don't want him now.
But then I feel, he is also overthinker n he had also gone through so much heart breaks in his past. I should not treat him like that. 

Don't know whose gonna read this all n give me any suggestion. But felt good after writing all these feelings which I used to keep in my mind. 
Thank You🙂

Overthinking

Why can't we be free on what we like? On the things that we are passionate? Why do we have live fulfilling our family's expectations? I'm exhausted.

Exhausted

So there's this one person for whom I care a lot but also I don't want to be like , in love with him 
And this is the first time I've ever felt these feelings for anyone 
Idk what if I like him or what 
It's just that I don't want to be hurt 
And I've also tried to take initiative about that but it's just
 I can't do anything about it 😔

Confusion

Just a short view of how my life is:
Alone in an horrifying and terrorising college with no bestfriend with me. One of my bestfriend is in different class and we barely meet because of our different recess timings while the other one is still in school and another one is is different college. 
Waking up and going through the same hell everyday is very panicking? I guess. 
Not like I'm anti-social and avoid people, I have made friends here but bestfriends are something else, right? I don't know when I'll meet you guys and have some us time but I hope it's as soon as possible. I miss you guys so much. I just want to see you guys again and hug you. 
Okaay, lecturers of college are not even lecturers. They just come and insult us and then dump some knowledge on our head and then leave. 
This is getting way too long. To anyone reading this, I appreciate you. Just knowing you read this means alot.

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts