Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

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⚕️Depression

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DepressionThought

Profile picture for Now&Me member @xxsilvershad4724xx
@xxsilvershad4724xx

So, yesterday I was on the phone with my boyfriend and he kept asking me if I was okay. I kept telling him that I was just tired and that I hadn’t been sleeping a lot in the last few nights. He knew I was lying but I kept insisting that I was just tired. During the call, I kept playing this video over and over again. It was of me and my brother teasing me about boyfriends. My brother knew how to make me mad when I was younger and he knew I had a lot of guy friends. I was 7 at the time that he took that video. My thoughts of that video kept going on. At first I thought of how funny the video was. Then next my thoughts escaped to missing that little girl that I used to be. The girl that was always happy and wore a smile as big as the sun. Then, I started thinking of how my mom, my biological, could ever love that girl now. I’ve changed from being that sweet monster to this teenage horrible and spoiled kid. And if she saw me now, she would heartbroken. And possibly never want to see me again. I wish I could see her again. But I know how bad of an idea that would be. For I would try to see my dad again because I miss him too. And I would never be forgiven by him if I ever came near him. Because I know I have hurt him enough. And he probably never wishes to see me again. I cried last night because I really miss my family. Even if I’m adopted, it doesn’t relief me from my past memories. I’m only 15, and I’ve got 3 more years til I can see them again. Maybe not my dad. Tho I wish to tell him Happy birthday right now. Just to be able to get him a hug and let him know that I miss him and am really sorry for what I ever did for him to hate me so much.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @st1199
Profile picture for Now&Me member @xxsilvershad4724xx
9 replies
Profile picture for Now&Me member @st1199

Simran @st1199

Hi!
Please if possible try to contact them and see if you can meet them at least once.
No parents can stay away from their child for too long. And with age, we tend to change. 15 years is such an age. We hit Puberty, we become arrogant, we feel we are only right, we want everything we desire. And it’s a phase and it will pass. You will become mature with time so don’t worry about that.

Try less thinking about how you would upset them and think more of what all you would do when you meet them. How happy you will be seeing your parents.
I wish you get a chance soon!💙

Profile picture for Now&Me member @xxsilvershad4724xx
@xxsilvershad4724xx

Legally, I can’t see them til I’m 18… But I thank u for the advice. ☺

Profile picture for Now&Me member @st1199

Simran @st1199

Then we need to accept the hard reality and move on, right?
Because we are left with no other option.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @xxsilvershad4724xx
@xxsilvershad4724xx

I just wish it was different…

Profile picture for Now&Me member @st1199

Simran @st1199

Yes, ik.
But the fact remains everything in life isn’t our way and some things we want badly but still, we can’t have them.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @xxsilvershad4724xx
@xxsilvershad4724xx

Yea, I know… Thanx tho, it means a lot

Profile picture for Now&Me member @st1199

Simran @st1199

💛😄

@anoushkam

I am sorry that you feel this way. I am sure your family loves you. I know how it feels to be adopted as I am adopted too. I know that your father will forgive you because he loves you and there is nothing stronger than a family.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @xxsilvershad4724xx
@xxsilvershad4724xx

I hope ur right, thnk u so much 💜

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