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Now&Me @nowandme

Q&A (previously AMA) with Bhawna Sharma on December 10, 2020.

Meet Bhawna Sharma ⭐️
A trained and certified psychotherapist who has worked extensively with over 800 adolescents & adults focusing on issues like Anxiety, Trauma, Depression, ADHD, Behavioural, Personality & Mood disorders.

She is trained in Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, CBT, REBT, Schema Focused Therapy, Family Therapy and Technology Deaddiction.

This is a FREE & open discussion!

You can post your questions below by December 9, 2020 (Tuesday).

Bhawna would be answering them right here on this thread on December 10, 2020 (Wednesday).

Asking questions shows strength, not weakness.

🧡 Ask away and stay informed! 🧡

If you would like to speak to a professional privately, you can refer to the list of professionals mentioned here: https://nowandme.com/resources/experts

Share this with a friend who might need it!

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40 replies
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Anonymous

I feel i have changed after marraige.I feel as if i cannot feel emotions.Specially anger.I used to be short tempered and now i just dont get angry.My in laws are really rude and selfish people and i just cannot confront them for the wrong doings.I used to confront before but now i have bottled up things i cant speak and my husband cannot say things too
I dont feel like sharing things with my husband now coz i know he does nothing and i just have shut off myself.I dunt know what to do.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @bhawna

bhawna_sharma @bhawna

Hi,

Changes in life sometimes can be so difficult to adapt to, isn’t it? And you are not alone. Most people find it difficult to cope with major life changes (marriage is an example). We usually respond to changes with either the ‘fight or flight’ response (as a natural coping mechanism) i.e. you either react or become passive. But these coping mechanisms can be unhealthy and harm you because it doesn’t allow you to process your emotions in that moment. The silver lining is- you can build new coping skills to thrive in this difficult environment. Because you are resilient! Start with focusing on your emotional regulation skills. Deep breathing (can find description on google) can be a very helpful technique to begin with. It will help you process all the pent up emotions within you that you may have been hiding for so long.

Secondly, whenever you face a dilemma w.r.t to your in laws, ask yourself ‘what I can control’, ‘what I can’t control’ in that situation. Idea is to focus on things that you can control (how you respond, what you do in that moment) and let go of things that you can’t (for example- their behaviour, their reactions).

I would also suggest you to re-discover a self care activity for yourself (choose something that you enjoyed doing before marriage, bring it back in your routine. Why? because you are important). Marriage is one aspect of your identity, remember, there is more to you.

Disclaimer: This response is not a substitute for therapy and is for information & discussion purposes only.

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Anonymous

Hi,
I am in a relationship for past 1 year and I am deeply in love with the guy and we used to share a very good bond. But in the month of October I had to come back home to meet my family and i had planned to return back the next month. But sadly, he met with an accident just the day i came back home and hence his mom came to meet him and help him out in his daily work. But again, last month, unfortunately, his mom passed away at his place all of a sudden. It was a serious shock for him and me as well. But, I have been supporting him all day and night. At initial days, he was not talking at all. But still i kept on texting him keeping in mind not to force myself into his personal space. But as days are passing through, I am feeling helpless and not able to understand how to deal with the situation. I am scared if this situation might lead to our breakups. I really want to talk to him or meet him but it seems he doesn’t want to. I am aware of the fact that he is upset and in a different mind space altogether, but am also going through difficulties resulting me to overthink which is eventually effecting our relationship. What should I do? Any kind of suggestions are welcomed.

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bhawna_sharma @bhawna

Hi,
From what you have shared, the past few months have been very demanding for you- emotionally. But I must commend you for being available for your partner in his difficult times. As a strong support. The overthinking that you are engaging in can be so tiring for you. Remember, it is your natural response to counteract the fear of facing the worst in this relationship (break up, as you mentioned). However, It may not be the best coping response. It is time that you started showing the same level of care and love for yourself that you have shown for your partner. Your partner mostly is in a grieving phase as he has suffered a major loss. He may need his time to cope. Even if you are not able to be with him in person right now, think about times when you have been away from him in the past and it still didn’t lead to the worst consequence like a break up. Our mind makes us think of the worst possible consequence and exaggerate, especially in uncertain times. Challenge these thoughts with positive relationship memories (evidences) from the past.

The feeling of helplessness is surfacing in you because you may be attempting to control something that is outside of your control- the future, how he reacts to you when you try to reach out, etc. Take a pause. Be more kind to yourself. When you feel emotionally overwhelmed, focus on your breath. Just the inhale and exhale. Nothing else. Another thing that may help in a tension situation with your partner (let’s say, he didn’t take your call). Zoom out- i.e. ask yourself- will this reaction from him matter in 5 weeks? In 5 years? But use the Zoom out technique only after relaxing yourself through deep breathing.

Also, remind yourself of 2 things that you are grateful for w.r.t this relationship. Stressful times often make us forget the good and cling to the worst.
🌻🌻

Disclaimer: This response is not a substitute for therapy and is for information & discussion purposes only.

@bhawna081

I am a teenager I don’t feel like sharing anything with my friends I and my mother have a great bond we usually share anything and everything i used to share everything with her but in these few months most of the time she is busy and can’t give time to me and I don’t trust my friends and as I was a kid I was taught by my mum to express all the joy and sorrows to her but these day I can’t really express anything to anyone and idk why nothing really happens but I feel like crying though I am happy and not facing any problems then also while studying or cooking or maybe doing anything my tears rolls to my cheeks and I could not stop and will continue crying for 2 to 3 hours approx then I will be like don’t cry you are too strong and then next 2 to 3 days will be great then all of a sudden tears will roll and this goes on…
I wish I could share my thoughts and feelings with someone who could really understand me and listen to me 🙃

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bhawna_sharma @bhawna

Hi,
Teenage years bring along a lot of changes in one’s life. Emotionally and socially. You may be burdening yourself a lot currently by keeping a lot of unexpressed emotions within yourself (we do this sometimes as we don’t trust others enough with their capability to understand/ accept our emotions). There may be other reasons as well and it will require more in depth exploration of underlying issues for me to comment (preferred approach for therapy sessions).

Crying helps you release the tension that you experience and it helps you in that moment. However, it only takes care of surface level issues and hence, the cycle of crying repeats. I would suggest you to start maintaining a journal to track your daily thoughts and emotions. The emotions within us need a listening ear. And you are the listening ear. Sometimes, it can be a trusted friend, sibling, family member. When you are feeling overwhelmed and distressed, find a safe space and sit down. Drink a glass of water. Pause from everything. Observe the emotions in your body. Describe the emotion to yourself. Is it anger, sadness, frustration, or something else? Tell yourself (as you continue observing the emotion in your body- anger…‘or whatever the emotion is’… is here rather than ‘I am angry’ or ‘I am sad’). It helps you extrernalise the emotion from yourself and helps you gain a sense of control.

Plan a small time out with your mother who has been your confidante. It can be a 10 minute ritual in the night or something really simple. Idea is to connect with each other emotionally in the busy schedule.

@bhawna081

Thanks I am going to make a journal and will surely tell you the outcome

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Anonymous

I am constantly fighting with my mom.In this process I am crying abnormally and I am also making my mom cry which is making me guilty

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bhawna_sharma @bhawna

Hi, fights can result in really ‘hot’ feelings (like anger, frustration) and can be followed by guilt. This happens because we end up saying things in anger that we regret later and we also lose out on a lot of energy in the process. When the fight is between two different generations- mother & child (guilt is bound to be your visitor because you may engage in self blame later for your behaviour).

I would suggest you to track the triggers that lead to your arguments. You can do this by making a note of it in a diary/ note it in your phone. Try to observe if there is a pattern to what usually leads to your argument. This will help you plan your moves the next time (when there is a potential for fight).

Notice your anger warning signs- physically (faster heart beats, cheeks feel hot, clenching of fists, etc). As an SOS, whenever you notice these signs and are almost at the brink of fighting, move away physically from that space. Go to your room, or another corner. Take a ‘time out’. It doesn’t mean that you are weak. It helps you ‘cool off’ in that moment and helps you avoid the impulsive fight triggered by anger. You can engage in another activity while you are cooling off- talking to someone trustworthy, deep breathing, take a walk,

Whenever you are in a calmer state, you can come back and communicate with your mom. Here, communication skill of ‘Assertiveness’ will be helpful.

Professional therapy can help you deal with other personal core issues that may act as a predisposing factor towards these fights.

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Anonymous

Please read this fully and help me.Last year during end of September I met a boy online.We both have faced breakup few months back. We talked for sometime and it was like an instant connection.
We shared things and had conversation on daily basis.
We met after few days had a quality time. He was very caring and well behaved and I literally liked him.
We both encouraged each other to move on from our ex and focus on our present. He encouraged me to go college and complete my assignments and encouraged me to study more.
Due to my assignments and studies I wasn’t able to meet him and he was also going from some family problem due to which he was very stressed.
After that we decided to meet and stay with each other for a night. We were just good friends and it wasn’t planned that we were going to have sex that night.
We were playing truth and dare and in that game he was dared to kiss me on my neck. After which we weren’t able to control ourselves and we made out.
But that’s not the worst part.
After having sex he cuddled me in his arms like he never wanted me to go anywhere or leave him. I fall in love with him that night. But he felt guilty that he shouldn’t have done this to me. He should have controlled.
But I tried to convince him that it is okay and whatever happened was mutual.
After that we met many time spent a quality time. I really enjoyed his company.
I never accepted that I have fallen for him until it was my time to say goodbye to him because I was going to another city for internship for few months during December.
After realising I won’t be able to see him for so many months I broke down and realised my feelings for him is real. And I told him about my feelings but as he was very confused and he was in delusion about his past relationship I gave him time to think whatever he want until I come back.
But after that situation start to get worsen we didn’t talk much and I felt very anxious and helpless due to which I wasn’t able to sleep properly at night.
During June he told me that he is back with his ex from a month or so. After that I was shattered because I have asked him so many time that if he wanted to go back to his ex but he always said NO.
After that I tried to ignore him and get out of his life…but he always said that I am important for him. I m very precious for him. He will always be there for me. But his words have contradicted his actions many times. And I started to not think of him.
And in November end he got engaged to his ex but he was still in touch with me.
After that I blocked him from everywhere and haven’t contacted him.
But I m unable to get him out of my head. I don’t know why how much try to forget him it’s getting harder😭
I don’t know what should I do please help me

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bhawna_sharma @bhawna

Hi,

You must be going through a lot at the moment given the loss of an important personal relationship where you were emotionally invested. You both may not have been clear about the nature of relationship that you wanted (whether you wanted it to be romantic in nature or only friendship). Of course, you met with a few realizations about your own feeling towards him much later but he may not have been as emotionally invested in the relationship.

Use this experience to gain more awareness about yourself and your emotional needs so that you don’t end up investing your genuine emotions in people who may not be ready to reciprocate.

It would be helpful to reflect on whether you invested too soon in the relationship. Sometimes we are guided by our ‘emotional mind’ rather than the ideal ‘wise mind’ (a combination of emotional and rational mind). Emotional mind makes us take steps which feels right ‘in that moment’ but may not be helpful for the long run. When we get too quickly involved in a relationship after a break up, we are mostly running away from addressing our painful emotions from the previous relationship. This does not allow us to get truly involved in the new relationship, causing hurt to both the people.

Give yourself some time. Be patient with yourself. Avoid checking his social media handles. Get back to your social relationships, connect with people who really value you. Ask yourself- what is the cost of losing the person? And what is the benefit? Set boundaries with people who take away more from you emotionally.

@messysoul1

I always feel the need to be with someone as if I can’t be with myself alone. I keep looking for someone to always hold me, be with me. How do you really overcome it?

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bhawna_sharma @bhawna

Hi,
Ask yourself what is it that you are trying to avoid by avoiding your own company. Being alone allows us to be fully into our experience. And you may not feel comfortable with the idea of being by yourself. You may be seeing someone’s presence as a form of safety and security. It will be difficult for me to suggest you anything with the little information provided. Psychotherapy sessions can be helpful in exploring and handling it. Feel free to write to me at

themindgrit@gmail.com or access any other therapist from Now&Me’s list.

@veenu

Bhawna i just had breakup amd its very painfull because i dont know the reason why i lost her and why did she go to a man and what should i do now

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bhawna_sharma @bhawna

Hi,
I am really sorry hear about it. Break ups can be so painful and rough. But it is a universal part of our lives. You may be going through a multitude of emotions right now- shock, anger, sadness. It is a grief period for you and I would request you to allow yourself some time before you reach acceptance of what has happened. Avoid making any drastic changes, and avoid acting on any destructive impulses right now. Let your friends and/or family know you are hurt and speak about your emotions. Sometimes a diary can be that friend with a listening ear. Return to a routine, include activities. This will offer you comfort. There will be a lot of ‘why’ questions in the form of thoughts that will bother you now. Don’t fight them but don’t hold on to them by trying to respond. Let them pass. Do some action the moment you notice yourself indulging in the WHY thoughts or trying to recount memories. Although it has ended, the relationship made you more aware about who you are, how you relate to others, and what type of relationship works best for you and what does not. The break up may seem sudden in some cases, but mostly it so happens that one of the partners has disengaged in the relationship since a long time. Avoid checking the person up on social media, it is not going to help you. Respect yourself and stop the moment you start blaming yourself for the break up (if at all).

Most importantly-Don’t give up on relationships!

@anonymous56788

Hi, lately I have been feeling really down. I haven’t been able to enjoy anything. Food really doesn’t taste as good, I have lost the ability to feel anything, lost my ability to talk to people. It’s not that I’m upset but I just don’t feel anything, it’s like I’m emotionally numb and I don’t know where I am headed and I don’t know what’s going to happen next. I am not enjoying living my life

Profile picture for Now&Me member @bhawna

bhawna_sharma @bhawna

Hi, such experiences might be confusing and distressful for you. I hear the word ‘loss’ quite frequently in your message. Emotional numbness, loss of interest in activities of daily life and social relationships can be symptoms of issues requiring professional help. I would suggest you to access a therapist. Accessing help does not make you weak and shows your strength, it can bring about a lot of positive changes for you 🙂

@anonymous56788

Hi, could you help me? I have been emotionally numb lately. I don’t feel anything and I don’t enjoy living my life. It’s so hard to explain how I feel right now.

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Anonymous

I’ve had to experience a childhood trauma and it has been haunting me ever since. My parents don’t understand what im going through nor are they trying to understand. When things get bad or they hurt me emotionally i get into this phase where i literally relive all the bad things tht happened to me. Ive also had to endure a toxic relationship and that has only taken me in a rough path. Ive been keeping all this inside for a long time and i dont know wht to do. Ive tried telling my parents to take me to a therapist but they don’t understand why i need it and nor hav i the strength to tell them what happened to me. I dont know what i can do

Profile picture for Now&Me member @bhawna

bhawna_sharma @bhawna

Hi,
I respect your efforts to come and talk about your difficulties here. Childhood trauma can can bring about unwanted emotions and unhealthy ways to deal with the intense emotions in current life. This interferes with our relationships. It is important to get in touch with a therapist. I would recommend a Dialectical Behavioural Therapist/ Trauma Informed therapist who can guide you to process the trauma and also help you in building coping skills that can lead to positive outcomes. It will also help you in making healthier decisions. Emotional regulation, Distress tolerance, mindfulness are some of the many skills that DBT employs to heal trauma and ensure healthy functioning.

Sadly, mental health is still an ignored discussion in family spaces and it not easy to convince our parents to be in the affirmative. They may not have enough experience or don’t want to accept therapy as the first option. You can start by slowly introducing them to articles about trauma and therapy benefits. I would suggest you to reflect on resources apart from your family members who can help you access therapy or would be there to just listen to you (sibling, friends, online resources, organisations). There are many therapists who offer therapy in sliding scale and free therapy sessions too. If you are a part of a school/ college- ask the concerned authorities to channel you to a therapist (ideally, these institutes & workplaces should have a counsellor on board). If you are able to access the first session, you can also request the therapist to speak with your parents.

Ask yourself-‘what is the smallest step that you can taken today towards your mental health/ towards accessing mental health help’? I think you have already taken the first major step by posting your query here. So, kudos to you.

Possibilities are endless, and there is help available. Therapy does not label you as ‘problematic’, it is for everyone. If you still find it difficult to find someone reliable, please feel free to reach out to me -

themindgrit@gmail.com

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Anonymous

When you’re habituated to talk to somebody (a friend) for hours every night, how do you get over the anxiety you feel when maybe they’re busy or they don’t call you one night and you’re just left waiting for their call?

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bhawna_sharma @bhawna

Ask yourself- what are the thoughts that come to your mind when he/she doesn’t answer the call? Track them down- the negative thoughts. You might be fearing rejection or fearing a loss of the personal connection. Reassure yourself that on one night, if the person isn’t available, it does not mean that he/she does not consider you important. They may be busy with something and you can follow up with them the next day.

It might be useful to prepare a list of activities that you can do ‘just for yourself’ if that person isn’t available to talk on some nights. Make sure that these activities are for you, and you only! Treat yourself as important and do things with yourself with love.

@lizzy

hi

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bhawna_sharma @bhawna

Hello😊

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Anonymous

How do I know if I’m suffering from clinical depression? I can’t go to see a doctor or anything.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @bhawna

bhawna_sharma @bhawna

Don’t-
1. ‘Google symptoms’ and self diagnose. Can do more harm than good.

2. Label yourself

Do-
1. Reach out to mental health helplines, there are many who offer virtual consultation and option for psychometric testing.

2. Diagnosis is strictly made after psychometric assessment only.

@tpbhangale

Madam,I got your email address whilesearching the internet. I am a computer engineer passed out in2005 but I got my first job in 2010, the reason behind this unemployment was mysocial anxiety, zero confidence, public speaking fear, over thinking like thereare many. I did that job till 2016 but I was not comfortable doing it. So I left my job and started business and I failed in my business. The reason is the same social anxiety…Today I have no job, no business, nomoney, no career, and no goals. Only my wife is earning 6000 rupees per month.I can not decide what to do? I amplanning to leave everyone so that at least they can live their life happily.Everybody related to me is in tension because of me.My confidence is on negative levelnow, suffering from depression.I can not decide whether i should gofor job or business. who will give me job when I am not having any skill. Howcan i do business when i do not have money. I can not tell my situation toanyone because nobody will believe me.I think i can do job but i do nothave courage to face interview.Also I can not afford treatment for my problems by visiting a doctor.Can you help me come out from thissituation, else I have decided to leave everyone and let them live their lifeRegards,Tushar Bhangale

Profile picture for Now&Me member @bhawna

bhawna_sharma @bhawna

Hi Mr. Tushar,
This is a helpline that I want you to reach out to in case of an emergency
91-9820466726 (Aasra). http://www.aasra.info/helpline.html

You matter a lot to your family members and your life is precious. Please do not think of this as an end or a situation that can’t be altered. You may be feeling defeated right now but remember that you are resilient! You are the same person who got his first job in 2010 and stayed in it for 6 long years. That is a huge accomplishment! I want you to remind yourself of this phase because neither I nor anyone else appeared in this interview or stayed in this job. It was your individual capability. Life may have taken a negative turn and things did not work out in your favour but this is not the end. Start small. Remind yourself of smallest achievements that you have made over these years. Don’t focus on consequences or the result of an action that you want to take towards your career. Don’t focus on the skills that you don’t have. Focus on skills that you have. Even if it just one skill- make a note of it.

Stop being so critical of yourself. Recognise the support system that you have and talk to them. You can also avail free therapy services available online. KIRAN helpline or TISS helpline are options.

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Anonymous

I have a couple of questions sorry.
the other day i tried to kill myself but my best friend saved my life, how can I thank her?
Also, my older sister has been abused lately and is on edge and won’t talk to me. How can I help her?
I’m disgusted by myself because a 72 year old guy online tried to seduce me (I’m 17) and I let him. Why the hell did I do this?? I can’t tell anyone about this I’d die of embarrassment and self hate if I don’t already

Profile picture for Now&Me member @bhawna

bhawna_sharma @bhawna

Please don’t apologise for asking these questions which may be a source of stress to you. I must commend your efforts to come and share here.

1) If there are any similar episodes in the future (hopefully not), try your best to pause for a moment and dial this number

91-9820466726 (Aasra). http://www.aasra.info/helpline.html

Gratitude to a best friend who saved you can be through any medium that you prefer. It can be a simple thank you message, a virtual hug, a letter, or anything that she likes. Here the important part is the emotion that you would like to convey rather than the medium that you adopt to do the same.

2) Give her time as she may not be ready to open up yet. You can just leave a message saying that you are there for her whenever she would like to talk. The trust in the bond will let her reach out to you whenever she is ready. Sometimes repeated queries can act as a trigger and lead to emotional distress.

3) Self blame will only further your feelings of shame, guilt and distress. Avoid sending critical messages to yourself. You may be experiencing distressing thoughts and emotions after the episode that may require more one to one work with a therapist. There may be underlying issues. I would recommend you to reach out to a DBT or CBT practitioner.

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Anonymous

Hi,please read this completely…I really want to come out of this…actually it might not even seem to be a psychological issue but actually even I feel and even the doctor has advised me to go to a psychologist…actually I take a lot of time than normal when I go to the restroom for urination and for the same reason I take a lot of time when I go for stools as well. And actually people feel light and assured and confident to do anything after going to washroom but instead feel unsure and not very easy to do whatever I want to…it feels like if I do so I’ll have to go again. I am left with a sense that I should or might have to go again… kind of like I feel there is a bit left near the outlet… And also it is that if I keep sitting and gonand sit again still thin streams or dropped streams keep coming with 1-2min time breaks…
Also somewhere here I then feel that maybe everybody has that little sense left but get up…
But then if I get up like that is just get up it feels like to me that I’m I mean my urethra or lower bladder is holding like really holding the left out like holding on to it and roaming around…and not only like that some days…i really feel that a little bit is left somewhere near some part in intimate area or maybe somewhere in the urethral passage…
So what I do is first of all I keep there and keep releasing till I feel fine but actually that doesnt happen and also it’s like a habit now…and like only way I seem to be able to get up…that when I finally kind of lose patience…and kind of start getting tensed about how much time is getting wasted here…and that again I am not able to get up from here in normal time…i just get with one of the repetitive streams followed by pressing out what I feel is left because of getting off sooner orr with the stream kind of maybe…which I know is wrong but dont know it feels like if I don’t do that I’ll have to keep sitting there for one more half an hour…
I jaut getup and go like that but yet it doesn’t feel very good like a soreness in the lower bladder I still feel and some sense like little bit being held on near my outlet…and it feels like I have to sit somewhere soon so that some of it pops out or releases from near the outlet when I sit so that I feel little better…maybe it also feels like if I don’t sit it will cause an urge and I’ll have to go back again and without it I don’t feel very comfortable to move and all…but yet as I said some soreness in the lower bladder kind of feel and holding feeling near the outlet continue to be there sometimes as I involve in other thing that feeling seems to go to some extent but then many a times it has happened that I didn’t yet go and instead once again has turned into pressure…
And also sometimes this really happens to me…that I think because of what I described just before this that I have to go within an hour or one and half our again everytime…like it doesn’t feel very light and comfortable there…also here there is some confusion I used to feel that did I failed to recognise the urge and heed it that then it kind of numbs down or what to the feeling like I described before like not very light and comfortable but then it feels like I can continue to sit for sometime but then if I want to feel light and comfortable I have to go…but like now after discussing with my sister who feels and I felt this myself also that maybe I just feel the part too much so I keep feeling it is not light and comfortable or already filled…but sometimes I again didn’t find this true but I really now feel maybe it is true and instead may be the sorenes is because of pressing and getting up and not because of not realising and heeding the urge…my sister feels I don’t even sit till the real urge and I keep thinking and develop the feeling that it’s not feeling right i should ggo I should go its time…
Sometimes I don’t feel that I have had to go after every hour or so…maybe because I just keep sitting with it…but don’t really feel free or light…but I seem to slowly maybe find it true what my sister sayd that I am hding it in mind keeping my attention there unnecessarily checking on it… Even if that’s the case when I come out but yet getting up from there in a normal way and in normal time seems like impossible not very possible…or not always possible…
Also sometimes when I come out of there or when I feel I’m having to go just because my attention is there and it’s not real urge and sit on I feel some involuntary muscle actions so started feeling maybe my bladder goes through spasms but my doctor hasn’t said anything like that got to ask again…but more than my bladder it feels like may be my urethra goes through spasms but I don’t know it is a cause or the result of sitting there for too long…somewhere I feel it is a result…which is even more worsening this maybe…and also seems like I feel my near bladder motion with my breath cycles like they seem too associated whereas it shouldn’t be like that I feel instead they can be independent and with every breath we don’t need to or I think should se we just breathe and during that don’t keep feeling that near bladder motion…this thing not always but many a times again creating urge after sometime…
This was the background but
actually this thing has taken a toll over my life…
So some questions…
I know you are a psychologist but any idea really where in the sense where in me or situation is the problem is? what the problem actually could be or what exactly could be he reason…?
👆for this I want you to know that my doctor has confirmed that there is no problem in my structure of urethra or bladder by xray and has suggested physiotherapy and psychologist…

Actually even I used to feel even before the doctor said that psychologist might be able to help…but I don’t exactly know why I used to feel that…but ibreally want to know that
How and where in this problem can a psychologist help me…
⭐How and where in this problem my thoughts are causing a problem…and where exactly my thoughts need to be worked on to help myself
And help myself get out of this…
Abd actually this time taking in wahroom and the sense remaining almost most of the time has taken a toll over me I lose so much time there and so I’m not able to do many of my works and then sometimes I throw a tantrum and because all all the mess with this thing I don’t feel like doing anything anymore…
Also it is literally like I haven’t felt true happiness I a very very long time…
I have lost the confidence to move freely dance or get myself things I need it feels like especially when I come out from there that if I move too much I’ll have to go again…I’ve lost confidence not only confidence like can’t do these thing like getting myself what I need or getting what others have asked to for them…
And because of this it is big problem taking a bath I’ve not been able to take bath regularly as it feels like a disaster…as it takes me so long to get off from the washroom…
And because of the same thing it is a big deal for me to get ready I time for college…and going out seems like impossible as I have to come back and bath because of corona and all wearing a bit difficult clothes also seems like so difficult to handle…
I am seriously in a place where I have lost all my dreams…doesnt even seem to me like I’ll ever be able to do anything…the only goal left seems to be like coming out of this problem…
I am in a place so bad that geting back a normal life just a normal life is the goal…
For example it’s like everybody should goal is to find there career path and mine is to find time first of all to start looking intoncareee paths…its like that with everything 😣
And big problem is that with clg and all and this problem it’s lie finding time tonso things that would help this maybe like physiotherapy has become difficult
I don’t seem to be able to involve fully in things beacause somewhere the sense and all remains and also my brain is preoccupied with will my life get better what should I do to…help myself and all
And one big problem is I can’t follow any schedule because it just demands me to get off there which is not helping me improve my actions when I am there like even more I tend to do that pressing and getting off…to just go and get into the task…but that’s not helping me come out of this…and so I’m not able to do anything anything toward all that I want to pursue it’s like I am just having to somehow survive the semesters and handle this and just survive not even able to start working towards improving my skillset… All will happen only when I overcome this it feels like…and I am almost losing hope on getting over this it seems like I’m done with my life and I won’t be able to achieve anything when I can and all of the time will passway and I’ll just have to take what comes and sometimes the thought of living with this whole life haunts me…
Sometimes I feel like there is no solution and better than living like this being able to do nothing that I want to just juggling handling life it is better to give up and die…but yet hope isn’t dying…its good but I really hope there is some way to get out of this forever permanently for this life I never want to get into anything like this again a lot time of my life I’ve lost because of this already…😪😭

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bhawna_sharma @bhawna

Hi, emotional or psychological conditions like anxiety can lead to such physical symptoms and often interferes with quality of life. Please reach out to a CBT therapist (Cognitive Behaviour Therapist) for the above mentioned issue. It requires consistent work and can lead to positive outcomes for you. Symptoms may continue to persist if there are unidentified and unaddressed underlying psychological factors. You can also consult a medical doctor alongside.

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Anonymous

Thank you very much…I will look into CBT for sure…
Also one of the doctors once said it was related to ocd ? Can that really be the case…
And what can I do then from my side and…particularly with such symptoms for ocd…

Profile picture for Now&Me member @bhawna

bhawna_sharma @bhawna

Thank you Now&Me for creating a brilliant platform to demystify conversations around mental health. I am honored to be a part of this initiative.

Dear Participants, thank you for posting your valuable queries. I will be attending to each one of your questions today.

Disclaimer- the responses made by me will be for professionally guided discussion and educational purposes only and not to be considered a substitute for therapy. One to one therapy sessions are always suggested for psychological and mental health concerns. If you are in need for immediate assistance, kindly contact 24x7 mental health helpline (KIRAN).

My main aim today would be to take forward Now&Me’s goal of encouraging conversations and discussions in mental health. ‘Asking questions shows strength not weakness’-so, ask away, lovely humans!

For any further queries, you can reach out to me at -
themindgrit@gmail.com
IG handle- themindgrit

However, I encourage you to respond here in the same thread for ease of continuity.

@anu0506

Im a 15 years old badminton player who is lacking confidence. I am scared to play against players who are as good as me. Im afraid i cant become a national player one day. Everytime i loose a game, i cry and feel like giving up. Im afraid i cant make it. There is no one to hear me out to. Whenever i go to my state training, i feel so nervous and pressured.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @bhawna

bhawna_sharma @bhawna

Hi Anu, you must be pressurizing yourself so much! And at that lovely age of 15. Fear of failure can be a barrier to your progress. Silver lining is, the fear may be a deep seated ‘thought’ that can be challenged. You may think that ‘you are not good enough’, ask yourself for an evidence against this thought (give yourself examples of tournaments where you may have scored even if not won).

Today, make a list with two sections- one of your strengths and the other of your achievements (stick it up on your wall/cupboard). Remind yourself that, you are a unique and special. I can’t hold that badminton and hit like you. Set realistic and SMART goals, don’t attempt to achieve too much at once. And whenever you lose a game (talk to yourself, the way you would talk lovingly to a friend who just lost a match).

Give yourself motivating self talks like ‘I am unique, I am safe, I will do my best, I will focus on this game and not the consequence’ whenever you are in State training. Look up for Affirmations online and make it a ritual for yourself. All the best, young talent!🏸🏸🏆

@himani

I want to share that slowly away i m going in depression… Nothing is going right in my relationship… I want some solution no one os there to help me out i m feeling so alone plzz help me out… I wont know waht would be my next step…

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Anonymous

I don’t really know why am I asking this but can you please tell me how to be a good gf?

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Anonymous

Is a teenage relationship worth of giving time or it’s better to be in relationship after 18?

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Anonymous

Hi.
I am 21 year college student. And in my past 3 years 1 didnt make and good or trusted frnd and i suffered depression or chronic anxiety from past 3 year but no one knew this even not my family.
I am very big introvert in expressing my feeling or sharing something to anyone but in my day to day life for my friends i am very extrovert but i make them happy always and they think i am same as i looks to them. But few months past almost 4 to 5 . I made s very good friend girl of my class . And she shares her personal life with me but i didnt feel comfortable with her to express myself with her as time passed we get attached . And she t got feelings for each other but she already told me initially that may be this is an attachment few days back her attachment was over but not mine. I still had feelings for her. But she didint want any relationship now. Days back she left me for another guy but now she is single.
What should i do i am exhausted from my mind and by heart also 😔

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@donutswithicing
Not me enjoying my sick days like they are holidays
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Razor506 @razor506

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