Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

It’s gonna be long but here we go. I have been smoking from past 6+ years, I really am trying my best to quit, from one cig a day to one cig almost after every alternate day. It’s not just that, I have gained my confidence after alot of efforts and self hate and insecurity. I have been in emotionally exhausting and abusive relationships before and finally I’m with someone who respects me, loves me and takes care of me, I really want to keep him happy but I get extremely insecure regarding some extremely stupid things, I am trying my best to not impose it on him, but I get too hurt and I get hurt because I mostly overthink the situation, I get paranoid and scared that I might lose him. I have anxiety issues. I get extremely agressive when I’m angry. EXTREMELY. I punch things, I used to self harm now I don’t really ig. I think about the things I used to go through before and I still get hurt and I’m scared that those things might happen again? I am not able to express myself correctly…