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Anonymous

I’m having a sinking feeling. I’m 28 years old single mom to a 5 year old kid. I left my ex-husband when I was pregnant. Mine was an arranged marriage. A never-ending divorce has been going on for the past 4 years. My problem is with my parents. I’m not sure how to explain them. But what I do know is, they try to pull me down at every part of life. I’ve seen them fight and bicker with each other since my childhood and I’ve always been the one on the middle of their fight. I was always asked to pick sides. I was very happy and relieved to get married and go away, only to realize that my emotional turmoil grew after I went to my in-laws’ place. I was starting to lose health and I was brought back here. Now, every single thing that I do is judged by them and they give me their opinion of everything that I want to do. From everyday cooking (sometimes the way I hold a ladle) to some classes that I want to join. There is something negative that they have to tell me. If I tell them I want to move out, they start pulling me down telling me I’m a good for nothing and can’t survive even 1 minute without them. The arranged marriage that I had no role to play and absolutely no say, has been turned against me and they simple said I should not have married him in the first place. If I tell them how I feel, it’s a huge issue that goes on for about a week. For example, I told them that I needed to rest out a Sunday and that became a huge issue. I can’t go out to meet my friends but they go out all the time. I can’t talk, I can’t go out, I can’t go to classes and I don’t even know how to tell them that I don’t like the way they behave. Because even if I told them in the most subtle language, they read between lines and it’s a problem.

2 Comments
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youareimportant
@youareimportant

Hey, thats something that you really need to talk to them. And tell them that it is breaking you deep inside, as you do not want that kind of treatment, and also your child would not like to see that behaviour as well. Why not to try looking for a job so that you can spend time outside of the house? Tell them that you want to help them financially and want to work for the family!
Come to points, take online classes if you like and upgrade your knowledge. Talk to them nicely and in a way they will understand your feeling.

j
@johnthejohn

Dear Anonymous,
You sound stressed. I need you to know that you are very succesful and that you have so much potential they’re hiding from you.
This may sound terrible, but maybe use your child as an excuse (I’m childless, I don’t know how this sounds). First ask your child how they feel. If they’re okay with your parents, then tell them that you hate your relationship. But if your child says that they don’t like their grandparents, tell your parents they upset them. That the child wants to go. You’re a good mother, and to prove that to your parents, take your child and go.

Best of luck.