I'm getting married but I don't want to! I know the guy since many years and love him to death but I feel something is wrong with us getting together

What exactly is that ' something ' ? Address that issue. Talk to your partner about that issue. 

Well this is a very delicate matter, you have to think do you actually see yourself with this guy 10 years down the line being married...if yes then any issue can be solved if no then...you have to make a choice.

Anxiety

Boht der se kal raat ek post dekha tha woh dhundh raha hu mil hi nahi raha 😩😩washroom mai tha tab yaad aaya woh post and abhi yaad hi nahi aaraha hai ki mai dhundh kya raha hu, chdo maine dhundhna hi nahi 

3am Thoughts

😭
I'm tired of cry. I'm tired of pretending to the whole world l'm okay. I've spent the past year of my life crying. Partly trying to make something work where there was no love, and now having so much love for someone I can't even be with.So much anxiety I know it's irrational to keep putting myself in this position, but my old self always creeps back into my own thoughts.When it's dark. When I'm lonely. I fall apart all over again like I've done so many time. There's nothingthat can be done, and nothing is different than before.. so howcan my mind still run through endless scenarios?




Feeling very low today , Idk y always I have to suffer , when will I get fruitful results 
3 years of hardwork but still not able to do good 

Career

Phiru ab maara maara main
Chaand se bichhda taara main
Dil se itna kyun haara main
Ye tune kya kiya..

Saari duniya se jeet ke
main aaya hoon idhar
Tere aage hi main haara
kiya tune kya asar

Main dil ka raaz kehta hoon
Ke jab jab saansein leta hoon
Tera hi naam leta hoon
Ye tune kya kiya


Singing mood on....

Breakup

I cant tell if my dad loves me or hates me - it all looks the same. I hate having any meal of the day with my family (when my dads there) because that means I'm the center of discussion. I have to constantly hear from my own father that I am stupid, dumb, an idiot, ugly and am never going to amount to anything. He doesn't see the harm in saying all these things and even though I don't react to them at all, afterwards I go cry in my room. It's the worst feeling having to hear your father name all the flaws you have and if that wasn't enough he has no acknowledgment that these things would get to me emotionally. He never takes me seriously and what ever conversation I try to have with him, he takes it upon himself everytime to remind me that I am stupid and ugly and what I am saying is wrong. 
He keeps on calling me 'mean' because I don't like talking to him or put any effort in doing so. When he comes to my room to talk to me about my day - the conversations are short, uncomfortable and done half-heartedly. He thinks im mean for not wanting to talk to him but he doesn't realise its because he has never made me feel like he's someone I can talk to easily. He is a difficult person. He always makes jokes about the way I look or about the decisions i make. He thinks im plain stupid and still a child. A few days ago, I woke up and went to the kitchen to get some breakfast and he made some unnecessary unkind joke to me - not exactly the first thing I want to hear. I released a big sign and that day I shut myself in the room and didn't eat breakfast. Then he knocked on my door telling me to eat but i was crying and did not want to face him at all. After that day I have been distant and cold-hearted towards him. Shutting his conversations with one word replies and he even said to me that I know you just don't want to talk to me thats why you are not responding to my questions/talk properly. I said nothing and he left. I don't know what to do.
 My inner self wants to tell him WHY im like this, how I feel discouraged by him all the time but I'm scared he's going to laugh at me, not take me seriously or lash out like he has in the past. It's never been easy...I want to gather the courage and be in the right state of mind to first talk about my dad's behaviour towards me to my mother first - because I think she will understand...I don't know how tho..I hate being vulnerable or crying in front of my parents. 

Emotional Abuse

Anyone from Bhopal 

Think good
Do good
Feel good

Motivation

Hey I'm depressed since I was 13 after my mom passed away. Since young I've seen the toxicity my dad spreads. He used to hit my mom and he even cheated on her. He still controls my life where I cannot go anywhere without asking him and when I do he beats me and takes my phone away. This doesn't happen with my brother and he could go anywhere he wants. I feel like a prisoner in my own home and whatever I do I only get mean words from him. I'm depressed to a point that I want to end it all. I've been holding on to the only hope that I will have a better future and hopefully leave this place once I get a job. I fell in love with a guy for 5 years but he left me too saying I cheated on him when I didn't. He didn't even care having an adult conversation. He just left and I tried killing myself alot of times because it felt like life only gives me failure and sadness. I don't know how to handle all of from young age and sometimes I think it's better if I just leave forever.

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts