I think I’m emotionally not available. I don’t think I have ever genuinely loved anyone. However I tend to be more interested in guys who are not available and drawn to them and if they guy tries to talking to things to more serious relationship. My feelings for the person will slowly go away or I find myself searching for flaws, habits that I don’t tolerate.
I have not been in a serious relationship for almost 9 years now and I always wanted to be in a relationship. I think I’m ready to commit but then it doesn’t reflect my choices. I am just lying to myself?
Then after few years, I kind of understood that I knew in the back of my conscious that this person will not be in a relationship with me and I think that’s why I chose them rather than them choosing me. I don’t know if this makes sense and when these guys leave or if i eventually gets fed I don’t even feel sad I just move on.
But now I’m talking to a person whom i have liked for awhile and I don’t want my personal fucked up mind to ruin it. I don’t know what to do or I am just fooling myself?
Any help? suggestions
I think this sort of psychological thinking is quite common, where the unavailability just seems to draw us to the person. You just need to give your new potential relationship a shot, without overthinking it. How you can do that is by being in that present moment with that person, and training your mind to not pay attention to other thoughts that come in your head later, when you’re not with them/not talking to them. After you get comfortable with the person and have gotten to a point in your relationship where you can be more open with each other, then you can discuss your fears openly, because that’s the whole point of a relationship.