I need help. I'm in my early twenties...clueless n scared about future with a really bad breakup which kinda stirred my childhood trauma... deteriorating family relations n declining physical n mental health...I literally do not have one ounce of energy to even utter a word...I feel so anxious and immobile. I try taking little steps to improve yet keep falling back more, I have just lost all my confidence n will to live. I'm running out of time to make it to my dreams and I cannot afford to lose one more sec but no matter what I just cannot stay on track or move forward I'm stuck.

Hey! I can understand what you are going through

Yea, I just want to go somewhere n start a new life but I don't understand how n where to start....just losing all hopes 

Happens with me too. If you want to go to new place and start life in a new way. Then think of something that will give you an opportunity to move to new place like a new job, education.

Even I'm going through the same just want to complete the studies and settle some where far i believe that value of someone is know when it is far ya lost

Mental Health

I want to disappear

Depression

I can say I’m ok. I can help others and give them advice yet I don’t even listen to what I tell them. I’m so tired I can’t even attempt getting better. When I have just enough energy to try I fail and end up in a darker place than before. It’s common to give advice and not accept it but how do I overcome it? How do I get out of my own way? What is the first step?

Mental Wellbeing

who is right always tom or jerry ? 

3am Thoughts

Soo ; Life is not about worrying 
Yeah u heard it right it just the way how we see our problem stop worrying and just find a solution if u haven't take ur own time of break and believe in urself I am sure u got it and handled it ....❣️💜🤗 

Hope

I don't know if this will help with what I've been feeling lately, but at this point writing as a stranger on the Internet is better than continuously crying myself to sleep at night and then waking up the next morning like I didn't just look like a crazy woman the night before. I apologize for probably giving out my whole life story, I know nobody asked, but buckle up my dudes, cause it's going to be quite a ride here. 

I can't quite remember how it all started, but I guess I could start with the way that I'm feeling today. (Like every other day, except this time I can't hide it as well) So I, like any other (almost) 20 year old adults, have a job. I dislike my job very much and the only thing I look forward to is leaving. Except I come home and get a good 4-5 hours of "me" time before my head hits the pillow again and I'm back to square one. Thing is though, the work I do is uhm tolerable and it's okay, not the best, but it's okay. I don't like the people I work with and the environment is definitely the kind of environment where I feel like I'm learning accurately. I've come pretty far for a temp these last 4 months, but I honestly probably let my anxiety win in this situation AGAIN. 

At this job I feel very overwhelmed and stressed and when I get the weekends off for "me" time, it doesn't even feel like "me" time, It feels more like a clock that's counting down every hour, minute, and second until I have to be back at work. I do try to spend time with family and at this point what has become my so-called friend group. I feel like I have to force myself to do things sometimes because of the lack of energy and motivation to do things. Do I feel like it's depression? No, I don't. Although, I do just feel like a jerk. I feel like I can't really talk to anyone about how I've been feeling at this job, so therefore I have resulted in crying, sleeping and going back to square one...after (or before) work that is. Back to the main point anyway, I feel like I let my anxiety, my doubts, and my fears win again because I put my two weeks notice in today. I felt horrible, but at the same time I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. 

I'm probably not the only, but it feels like it sometimes you know? I feel alone, I feel lost, I feel like I don't know who I am or what I want to do with my life. I don't know what I'm doing dudes. I had someone ask me what I love to do or uhm what my specialty was and I stood there speechless because I had absolutely no idea what to tell them. I looked like an idiot yes, but I was like shook to my core. I couldn't even answer a simple question. I'm almost 20 and I've dropped college twice already. Had two (about to be three) jobs in my entire life and now I'm stuck. Like I thought I knew what I wanted to do, I thought I knew what I loved and where I wanted to be and where I wanted to go. Yet here I am. I feel stupid the more I type this out honestly.

I actually went to the doctor (bad idea) because of anxiety. PS - it's never been this bad and my Momma was getting worried so to calm her nerves I went to the appointment. Anywho, I got told I should go see my counselor again. She was a very good counselor and I haven't gone back. It's been a good I wanna say 4-5 days since my doctor told me that. I feel like the things I find as struggles are just minor bumps in other people's lives. Like don't get me wrong I am (or was) going to work every day for months pretending that I was okay and faking it "till I made it" and I tried having a different mindset or uhm positive thoughts. It doesn't work for long though, or at least for me it doesn't. I'm trying though. I always have been now that I think about it. That doesn't make me feel better though, in fact my brain just thinks "Why couldn't you try a little bit harder?" Now I know, I know people tell me all the time that I'm young and that I have all the time in the world and that I'm this great person and all. I feel the complete opposite though. I look at myself and I feel like an absolute failure. Nothing but a disappointment. I look at myself in the mirror and all I see is everything I promised myself I wouldn't become. I feel like a fake. An imposter if you will. 

I'm tired of feeling like this and I know I have to do something about it. With what motivation and with what courage? I feel like I'm at a loss of everything dudes. I'm tired and not in the way where you can take a nap and maybe just maybe the tiredness will go away. No. I'm tired in the way where I feel like I can't go on anymore. I'm just tired...


Thanks for coming to my "TED" talk today
If you read this far, I love you and I hope you're doing well. 
    - BM<3 :)

One day, I want to silently disappear from these people around me... they won't remember me... I would go somewhere distant.. in a nice place- near a sea or river.. will buy a house and pets there and would remain there for life... memoryless and anonymous... I don't want anyone to remember or love me... I am not worthy of that... I just want me to live by my side happily with my animals...  and I will forget everything and live life... that day will come... it has too..

Life

The past, it is precious, thought me a lot of things, but, I hate it because it traumatized me, I feel so ashamed like I wanna die but I know my death will not solve anything, in fact, my family will be affected by death, I will leave them in ashamedness, n my siblings, how would they feel if I do something so stupid like that, So I don't want to commit suicide, Now, I just want to live without hesitation, trying my best not to think about what others going to think of me, however, I found its hard, as whenever I did mistakes, I felt like I am worthless as I am really like what people said, I have nobody to share with my feelings as I know if I tell them, they will be disgusted, right? It is common for people when they know about your bad sides they surely will run away, or make it as a joke, or gossip about you behind their back. FYI, I lost a lot of friends because I'm too gross for them, I guess, they never teel tho. now I have one, but ill never share what I truly feel just to stay a friend. I guess it is better that way, no more heartache for backstabbing me, the less they know fewer worries. So, when I'm sad because of me myself, I always imagined strangling my neck with rope or stabbing my chest with a knife repeatedly. Nah, I'm not doing it in real life, just imagine it would not do me harm, would it? it feels good.. so that's all I wanna say.

Depress 
I am person with good ideas and dreams.  
Recently I started to fapping continuously . I feel bad about me I can't even stop that.  I tried to be good , peace . But mind that organ  simply searching that . Am really feel bad about me . No productive . No happiness.  But it seems am addicted to that . I feels like am unfit to live . 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts