Half my problems in life started to seem easier and solvable when I started to believe in myself. Backing yourself is like a magic pill to life. 

Self Esteem

Can someone be my friend plss🥺

Lonely

feel sad and lonely on most days... i just sit and cry for no god damn reason... my bf broke up with me 2 months ago and we havent been in touch since then he was my bestfriend too we used to talk everyday ... he was someone who listened to my daily blabber... now i feel lost since i dnt have anyone to talk to that way... my job also takes a toll on my mental health... i struggle to keep a happy face everyday... even though i go out and chill with my friends... nothing actually seems to make me happy... pls help

Depression

I want to lose weight for so many reasons which I am not able to do from past 5 years.I have always been trying something or the other so many different things but was never able to stuck to it completely.A part of me is broken and my relationship with is very messy and not in a great position.I am obese and everyday my thoughts would be to what should I do to loose weight every damn single day and it is so tiring.Recently Finally I made peace with myself that I will follow intuitive eating and do exercise which I am trying to implement.But whenever my parents or grandparents says something regarding my weight or my suggestion I kinda feel numb and lost ,disappointed in myself.Even though people say  I have to work for myself it is very unlikely that I cannot get affected by people around me.I recently was about to workout and My grandparent told me that you like huge and put on a lot of weight I started feeling sad ,cried and demotivated now I was sitting there doing nothing rather than sticking to my plan.I am 21 and I like to eat from childhood as in general love for food like I do not think that is binge eating part.But these days my food patterns so messed up that I not even motivated to change something or try differently this time or cut somethings.I know I cannot give up on my health and I cannot be peaceful until I achieve this thing.
Any help would be appreciated or someone going through the same thing.

Eating Disorder

I feel so helpless. I have come to a website to vent and let out my thoughts, use this as a diary to somehow make me feel better- to somehow help me in staying strong and healing myself. 
I am tired of crying so often. I have shed so many tears this year- I have really forgotten how it feels to spend weeks without crying. I have. 
I want to be happy again. I am in a constant battle with myself to make myself better - to feel better- to be stronger- to do things that will help me - and I am failing every single time. I can't handle my emotions. There is a deep rooted sadness inside me which just finds its way out somehow or the other. No matter how much I try to run away from it or ignore it or let is pass through me, it has its way of catching up with me. And getting the worst out of me.
I have no one who I can talk to. Maybe I do - but no one I want to talk to. No one has ever understood or even tried to understand.  No one who really wants to listen. 
How did I reach here? Why am I in this position? What did I do to deserve it? Some part of me actually believes that I deserve this. I don't know if I even love myself anymore.
I have never done anyone wrong on purpose and I have never been evil. I am at a position in my life where I can't real call anyone my friend. Not a single person. Why is it easier to talk write about this anonymously and share to a random website I just googled than to talk to someone.
I have really hit rock bottom. I keep proving myself how strong I am for having taken so much. This lockdown due to COVID has tested my mental state to another level. My boyfriend who I don't think is my boyfriend anymore because we just broke up. I got tired of asking him to care for me. Tired of telling him how hurt I am and how badly I need someone to hear me out and someone to listen to me. To care for me. How badly I need it currently. And how lonely this lockdown has made me feel. How disappointed I am in myself for not finishing anything I start. For how much its hurting me to be this crying sad depressed person. How much I am trying to get out of this and failing miserably and maybe just getting more sucked into it with each attempt. All of this never even reached him. Maybe my way of communicating was in anger but I did try telling it to him in other ways as well. Each time I felt dejected. It felt like I am hurting myself by expressing myself because it will not be acknowledged. He has his own problems going on and I am just being a burden to him by asking him for attention and love and a ear to listen. It was such a small basic ask - any girl would expect her boyfriend to be able to fulfill. But he really made me feel crazy for asking all this. He shut me up every time saying don't give me stress- don't start all this again. He had major stressful situations going on as well. But  does that really justify him taking all this lightly and not showing me even that he wants to hear me out and is concerned? He wants to be of help. 
This is the guy who has loved me more than anyone ever has. I know he did. But to have the one person you love not be there for you when you need them the most - even when they are themselves in a bad situation - is it too much to ask for ? Or am I living in denial? Nobody really loves someone for selfless reasons. Nobody really cares about another person when they have their own issues to deal with. Do they?

Relationships

I complaint about my own boyfriend to teachers because he kinda blackmailed me and threatening me to tell everything about my past to my mother.. i really love him and he loves me too.. but during arguments or fights he usually do this or just start abusing me verbally.. idk what to do.. i feel so guilty that i complaint and ruin his reputation.. any ways to bring it back or atleast better it ? 

3am Thoughts

I've been told that "God is omnipotent so he knows everything, so he know that evil/bad things happen and he's not doing anything about it." And I respond to him "Life is a test and god gave us the free will to do anything we want. So it's up to us to choose whether we side with good/evil, believe that there's a god or not and we see the results of our test at the day of our judgement/death to see if we were worthy of entering his Garden." And he asked me, "Are you passing the test?" And i respond "Brother doing goods and I've also committed a sin so I cannot answer that question, I'll just leave my judgement upon allah." He then left cussing, what do you think of my answer, i wanna read your opinion.

Gratitude

Hi,
I feel sad and down, probably because of pregnancy hormones. The first time I was pregnant, I shared news with close family members - No One was happy or excited except my dad-in-law. My husband sounded tense. My mom kept pushing me to get pregnant but when I broke news, she just handed the phone to my dad and went to do her chores. 

Now with second pregnancy, it is the same. My husband keeps saying it will be hard and that we have to start from square one. He says he is happy but he just seems neutral about it. My mom pushed me this time too but she didnt care when I talked to her. 

I know I should be thinking positive and not be bothered by people's reaction. I try to do things to keep my mind off it like workout, take my son out and so. But I still get hurt. Now I am afraid to breaking news to anyone. 

Please dont judge me after you read this. It is already too hard for me. Sometimes I think strangers are better friends. 

Pregnancy

Hi everyone anyone wants small talk long talk sharing feelings or exchange mood my name is kalim and i love to tlk 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts