Premarital counseling comes under the umbrella of couples counseling and is used to prepare couples for marriage.
This type of therapy helps couples come on the same page about their finances, children, and whatever else is important to discuss after marriage beforehand. This gives the couple the assurance that they have chosen the right partner and also makes them future ready for anything new that has to come their way.
What Is Premarital Counseling?
Premarital counseling helps couples plan the important things after their marriage beforehand and gives them a basic idea of what life might look like after marriage.
Moreover, it also helps couples understand their expectations of each other and where they will stand after marriage.
6 Reasons to Seek Premarital Counseling
There are many reasons why one should seek pre-marital counseling and how it can help build the foundation of their marriage on stronger grounds. Here are six reasons to seek pre marriage counselling.
1. Understanding your partner
Seeking premarital counseling will help you understand your partner more clearly and on a deeper level, which will strengthen your bond and help you further in your marriage.
2. Future planning
Taking pre-marital counseling will push you and your partner to talk about the future and take essential steps like joint investments or saving for a home from an early stage.
3. Improves communication
Pre-marital counseling will help you and your partner talk about difficult things, which will further improve your communication skills and make you more open with them, especially after marriage.
Pre marriage counselling will push you to talk about your financial situation—sharing joint bank accounts, balancing household finances, and setting a monthly budget—which will help you enjoy life better.
5. Conflict resolution
Premarital counseling helps the couple get out of their comfort zone and talk about difficult things by keeping their egos aside, which makes them good at managing and resolving conflicts.
6. Setting expectations
Premarital counseling will help you and your partner set realistic expectations from each other and not see each other as people who can fulfill each and every demand of the other person; however, talking about things and coming into the middle is the real game here.
Who Should Seek Premarital Counseling?
Premarital counseling is something every couple must consider before they tie the knot with their spouse-to-be. It will not reveal something bad or scary, but it will definitely awaken you to talk about important things and make necessary decisions for the future.
Premarital counselling is not about knowing if there is something you are not seeing; it is more of a platform that helps you push yourself to talk about things you are running from or think are the future’s problems.
So if you are a couple who is about to get married, it is your sign to take premarital counselling now!
What Happens During Premarital Counseling?
In premarital counselling, there is an assessment of both partners individually and then together, during which both of them share their experiences and expectations to have an open and honest conversation with the therapist as the guide.
The first step is the assessment stage, where both partners fill out a questionnaire to see what the expectations of both individuals are from each other and other related questions about marriage. This helps the therapist gauge the situation and take the session forward accordingly.
In the second stage, both partners share their life experiences and childhood experiences, which have an effect on their current relationship. There is always something new that you will learn about your partner and even if you are about to be married to someone, there might be some things that are part of the relationship but might come from their past. So the therapist becomes a catalyst and helps you figure this out properly.
Lastly, when you get an idea of new things and are on the same level with your partner, then it comes to discussing important things like financial situation, children, joint investments, beliefs, values, family dynamics, and anything that will impact your relationship in the long run.
Key Questions to Ask a Premarital Counselor
There are many key questions you can ask your premarital counselor, which they will help you discuss with your partner openly and in a positive way. Some of these are as follows:
- Should we have a joint account or not?
- Should we have a monthly budget?
- Are you more of a saver or spendthrift?
- How many times would you want to engage in physical intimacy in a month?
- How should we divide the household chores?
- What role would you play in the household? What do you mean by “role” here?
- What is the most difficult thing about marriage for you?
- What are your religious beliefs?
- Is there something you are against that I should know about?
- What is your opinion on kids?
- What is your love language?
- What do you consider infidelity to be?
- What would make you lose your trust in me?
- How do you handle arguments?
- Would it be okay if you or I traveled solo or with our friends for a few days/weeks?
- Is career more important to you?
- How will you handle an argument if your family has a disagreement with me/us?
- Do you like pets?
- Do you have any health issues I should know about?
- Are you open to moving abroad if required at all?
There can be more questions that you can ask your partner in counseling before marriage for a better understanding and clarity of your relationship and also to see if you can actually see yourself sustaining the relationship.
How Can Now&Me Help?
Our platform, Now&Me, is a safe place that makes you feel light by writing out whatever is weighing you down. It can help you engage with others and make you look at your relationship on a deeper level by asking the right questions through marriage counseling before marriage. Become a part of the larger community and understand your relationship by seeking guidance through premarital marriage counseling.
When you are not able to see how your future might look after marriage, sign up on Now&Me and seek premarital counselling for it. Be a part of a non-judgmental, inclusive, and friendly community—a platform made for you to readily ask for help and let our therapists help you plan for your relationship and marriage a bit more clearly.
Download the Now&Me app and take counseling before marriage to strengthen your bond with your partner right away!
Premarital Counseling: Is It Right for You? Published April 2023. https://www.verywellmind.com/premarital-counseling-definition-types-techniques-and-efficacy-5189767
25 Premarital Questions to Ask Before You Say I Do. Published October 2020. https://www.jouslinesavra.com/25-premarital-questions-to-ask-before-you-say-i-do/
Now&Me articles are written by experienced mental health contributors and are purely based on scientific research and evidence-based practices, which are thoroughly reviewed by experts, including therapists and psychologists with various specialties, to ensure accuracy and alignment with current industry standards.
However, it is important to note that the information provided is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Individual circumstances vary, and it is advisable to consult with a qualified mental health professional for personalized advice and guidance.