Rekindle the joys of your relationship and make it stronger than ever
Get to know yourself and your partner through a different lens and rejuvenate your bond through relationship counseling.
Published on 12 June 2023
What is Relationship Counseling?
Relationship counseling involves two parties talking about their personal and intimate issues with the therapist. The problems can vary from couple to couple and are openly discussed in front of the therapist. The main aim of relationship counseling is to strengthen the bond of the relationship and understand yourself and your partner in ways you didn’t before. You and your partner can talk about anything and everything with the therapist, whether it is about your childhood history, your relationship pattern, challenges that you might be facing in the relationship, or your intimate details. Your therapist will provide a non-judgmental and safe space to ensure both you and your partner feel heard.
When Should You Seek Relationship Counseling?
It is no joke that relationships are hard work and are built on consistent effort and care. However, every relationship goes through a time where there are disagreements and fights, the partners do not spend quality time with each other, or they feel like they have lost that spark. It is okay, and it is normal.
You don’t have to always figure things out by yourself. If you and your partner feel stuck and wish to get back to how things were, you can consider relationship counseling online. But how would you know when to take one?
Here are some signs that you and your partner should consider relationship counseling:
You are having constant fights
You and your partner are constantly fighting, and you feel stuck without knowing how to resolve it. Yes, it is good to fight at times to get to know yourself and your partner better, but constant fighting is a sign of slowing down and looking at things from a different perspective. There might be deep-rooted issues as to why you and your partner are always fighting, or even finding reasons to fight with each other. This can be a major signal to sign up for relationship counseling.
You are not communicating well
You and your partner might be going through a phase where you feel a lot of things but do not say them out loud to each other. You must have heard how everyone says communication is the key to healthy relationships, but a lot of times, you don’t even realize it and unconsciously start building walls of defensiveness, contempt, and criticism around you, which may reflect if your partner tries to talk to you.
This ends up creating a communication gap, and you both might not understand what is going on with your relationship. This may lead to unhealthy fights and saying things you don’t even mean. This is a sign that you need to understand each other’s communication styles and take relationship counseling for that.
You are having trust issues
The foundation of every relationship is trust, and if you both are struggling with that in your relationship, it may have adverse effects on your relationship. Trust can be damaged for many reasons; maybe your partner was unfaithful, you have deep-rooted issues with trust, or some childhood conflicts might lead to trust issues. However, having trust is an essential part of keeping a relationship alive. So, if you feel you lack trust in your relationship, it may be time to see a relationship therapist.
You feel like you have lost that “spark”
It is normal to get that daunting feeling that you and your partner might have lost that “spark”. It may happen, especially after your honeymoon period, as at that time, the relationship starts getting a bit serious and you start to see your partner’s real self. This feeling might also come when you both stop trying to make time for each other and have this need to work towards it, but your patterns may tell you otherwise. There might be a change or transformation as the relationship progresses from the initial phase, and it could feel like a loss of the initial ‘spark’. This can be a huge sign to seek relationship counseling.
Your dynamics have changed over time
When it comes to being in a relationship, you promise yourself and your partner that you will be with each other through thick and thin. However, sometimes you and your partner’s life situations change simultaneously, and it becomes difficult to be on the same page with each other as to where you see yourself in the relationship. There could be something difficult that you and your partner must have been through, like health issues, financial crises, or big life changes, that may have taken a setback on your relationship, and you both do not have any idea how to revive it. Relationship counseling will give you the right guidance and direction for this issue.
These are some of the signs that may help you understand if you and your partner need relationship support counseling. However, it also depends on the dynamic you and your partner share, and if you feel that seeking relationship support counseling may do you and your partner some good, you should definitely consider it.
How to Find a Relationship Therapist?
Finding a trustworthy relationship therapist is extremely important, as you are about to let them in on the intimate details of your relationship. So if you wish to find a reliable relationship counselor, you can look at our platform, Now&Me, where we provide guidance at prices as low as Rs. 35 and at 1/4th the cost of traditional therapy.
We know that relationships are an integral part of your life, and you always want to keep them safe and protected. Experts and relationship therapists at Now&Me have the same notion and wish to provide you with that safety bubble where you and your partner can nurture each other with the utmost love and care, within a space of secure confidentiality.
We are here to provide you with as much support as we can, and we try to do that by giving easy access to our app and facilities to our users. If you feel skeptical and scared to take this step, you can even try out your first call or chat with them at no cost, all at your convenience.
Online Relationship Counseling
If you and your partner do not wish to go for traditional counseling and are more comfortable with online counseling, that is perfectly fine. There can be a number of reasons for you and your partner to try out online counseling.
You both are in a long-distance relationship
If you and your partner are in a long-distance relationship and you both wish to sort out your issues and your relationship, then online relationship support counseling is a feasible option. It can get hard to handle all the ups and downs while balancing everything in your life while you are physically at a distance from your partner, so going for online counseling will be a great option for you.
You both are uncomfortable with traditional therapy
It is quite possible for a lot of couples to be uncomfortable in offline relationship counseling and say their feelings out loud. A lot of couples prefer online relationship counseling because it is more convenient and feasible. Generally, couples can get uncomfortable sharing minute details about their relationship in an offline setting, which is why they might prefer online relationship counseling.
Your therapist lives in a different location
It is possible that the relationship counselor online that you found for yourself might be from another city or country. It is hard to find therapists with whom you feel comfortable, and when you do, it is hard to change therapists. So it is absolutely okay to connect with them via mobile and get guidance in an online setting.
Online relationship counseling is an amazing tool for couples who wish to solve their concerns even if they do not stay together or find it difficult to open up instantly. Online counseling can happen over texts, telephone calls, or even video calls, all according to your preferences.
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How to Make Relationship Therapy Effective
Making your relationship therapy effective isn’t just your counselor’s job but also yours and your partner’s. Nothing would come out of it if you and your partner did not put the energy and effort into making it effective. So here are some tips to make your relationship effective:
Be radically honest
When it comes to your therapy session, it is important for you and your partner to be radically honest with each other and the therapist. Do not lie or even say white lies for fear of being judged. It might take some time for you to open up, and that's okay. Your therapist might ask you leading and supporting questions that might help you speak with openness. Your therapist will not judge you and will create a space of absolute harmony. If you wish to move forward with your partner, it is important that you are honest with everyone present in the room.
Lend an empathetic ear
Once you’re in the therapy room and your session has begun, there will be things that your partner might say that don’t make sense to you, or you will have your own version of the story. You and your partner may have different perspectives on the same topic, situation, or concern. It is a great idea to listen to their perspectives with empathy, which will help them feel heard and supported in your presence. It is important that you hear their version of the story and listen to what they have to say without creating a ruckus about it, as it is something they felt, and it is important to get it out in the open for everyone.
Be prepared for some discomfort
When you start taking relationship counseling online, be prepared for some discomfort, as there will be a lot of conversations that will come out in the open that you might not like. You will get to know new things about yourself and your partner, which might make you feel strange or uncomfortable. However, keep in mind that through this discomfort, you and your partner will be able to find solutions to the concerns that you might be facing, which will help you and your partner move towards a healthy bond and relationship.
Be open-minded
When it comes down to solving your issues with your partner, your therapist might recommend some activities or things that you will need to do with your partner. These activities might also help you both develop ways to create a healthier bond and re-establish the values of your relationship. So be open-minded and get out of your comfort zone to work towards your relationship, as your therapist is helping you both, and in order to get that spark back, you need to put in the same effort.
Give it time and effort
Like individual counseling, relationship counseling also requires time and effort. Avoid missing sessions or ghosting your partner because the conversations make you uncomfortable. Instead, talk about all this in the therapy session, and your therapist will help you tackle it effectively. Moreover, remember that healing and strengthening of the bond will happen eventually; therapy for relationship issues is not a quick fix, and you have to be patient throughout this journey.
What you can Learn in Relationship Counseling
Relationship counseling is all about you and your partner’s personal matters, issues, and things that are hindering your relationship. While you are in your therapy session, there are a lot of things that you get to learn about yourself and your relationship. These can range from:
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How communication is the key to a healthy relationship, and how uncomfortable the conversation can be; it is important to have them. You get to know about yours and your partner’s communication style and ways to bridge the gap.
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Being honest with your partner goes a long way. Your ability to listen to the differing opinions of your partner with openness increases, and you are able to accept them for who they are.
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A blame game never works in a relationship; when someone makes a mistake, what matters is working like a team and solving the problem, not blaming the other person and making them feel bad about it. You learn to problem-solve the issues together and maintain a sustaining bond.
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The relationship counselor is only a mediator and provides guidance for you both to open up and work towards your relationship.
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Therapy for relationship issues is not a quick fix. You won’t be able to get everything sorted in 2-3 sessions, first few sessions are all about laying the foundation, after that, the real work begins.
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Relationship counseling is all about implying new patterns and unlearning the previous ones.
What if your Partner Denies Relationship Counseling
It is a possibility that your partner might deny going to relationship counseling, probably because of the stigma or the fear of being judged. At that moment, you can talk to them calmly and let them know about the benefits of relationship counseling online and how much you will get out of it. Do not pester them to go for it, as that wouldn’t do your relationship any good; instead, give them time to think and ask them why they are so against it. Tell them to at least try it out with you, and if they feel it isn’t working, you can look for other alternatives.
How can Now&Me help you?
Our platform, Now&Me, is a safe place that makes you feel light by writing out whatever is weighing you down. It can help you engage with others and make you look at things from a different perspective about yourself and your relationship. Become a part of the larger community and understand your relationship by seeking guidance through online counseling.
When you do not know how to rekindle the spark of your relationship, sign up on Now&Me and seek online counseling for it. Be a part of a non-judgmental, inclusive, and friendly community . A platform made for you to readily ask for help and let our therapists help you understand the root cause of your issues and make you aware of how to effectively tackle them.
Invest in your mental health and download Now&Me for free!
