Always been a super ambitious person. Made a job switch that had a toxic culture with a narcissistic, misogynist boss that affected me immensely. The team and work were equally terrible, so I ended up wasting a significant chunk of my career trying to prove my worth. All these efforts were futile and I made another job switch. But, the previous place has affected me mentally (probably because I am a highly sensitive person). This is impacting my performance at my new job - I have trouble focusing, get super anxious, take 3x the time for an easy job. My confidence levels are sinking due to all of this. I am worried that this will come up in my performance review, should I discuss my mental health situation with my manager? How do I recover from this traumatic phase and get back to my older self?
Hey. I can completely understand how difficult it is for you, it’s definitely not ideal. Talking professionally, I think you should give your manager the slightest of idea so that they don’t overburden you with work, so that you get some time to adjust. Don’t tell them everything completely. I know it’s been a trauamatic phase for you, but I guess what should help you move on should be the fact that you don’t exist there anymore. You work here now, in a new better firm right? You should keep your focus on that!
I was in the same position as you once upon a time. Worked for a manager that probably birthed the word “toxic” itself. I didn’t stick long with that company and left them eventually.
I later on was taught by a friend to distinguish that there are always 3 entities involved in this scenario. The 1st entity is the manager, The 2nd entity is the job itself & the 3rd entity is the most important which is YOU which ties the 1st two entities together.
Whilst the job is what you’re primarily there for, one’s inner understanding with your manager is that it’s merely contractual and business like. He/She isn’t your friend and not a part of you safety net comprising of your loved ones like family & friends. Recognising this and moving in that direction helped me to weather toxic bosses. Ofcourse you can always take recourse to business HR or even talking to your new manager.
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