Thought

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Anonymous

A year ago I wanted everything I have today! But am not able to enjoy a single bit of it because of one person. One relationship he broke me down so much we are about to be married and he left just like that. Started another relationship few days after. He always said I wasn’t good enough because I was struggling I just wish people stood by others when they were at their lowest and not just in the good times

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Profile picture for Now&Me member @chaithu
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16 replies
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Anonymous

I empathise with you, but I’m in a similar situation but on the other side. And I think you can help me and I can help you understand each other. I’m guessing you’re different to my person (a her), but we’ll only know by talking. Mine is very depressed atm, and doesn’t want to talk when they’re upset. I’ve tried very hard to be there when she needs me, but she doesn’t let me help, and it’s hard for me to stick around when I don’t have an end in sight. The thing that hurt me through this was when I wanted to talk about it all, she wouldn’t let me. And that hurt. And I still haven’t managed to. I can’t stand by someone who causes me this much mental strain. In your case, I’m sure you’d rather he made a bold action now, rather than once you’re married. Difficult to comprehend but you’d be so much worse than you both being unhappy x

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Anonymous

I guess I was like that a little but I shared things with him. It can be difficult to open when you’re already hurting because you are scared to get more hurt. In his case yes I shut down whenever we fought but the issue was he never gave me space to even think. He would cry to me whenever we fought not realizing that I wasn’t blaming him fir crying I was getting more upset because his crying would make my anxiety worse.

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Anonymous

I had to end things today because I was hurting so much. We’re both going to feel pain for a while but if it was meant to be we’ll find our way back to each other. But for now I want to grieve and move on from the idea of her. Just deleted everything that reminds me of her x

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Anonymous

Ya just give yourself time as well to heal and if you guys are meant to be you will both find your way back!

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Anonymous

Thank you xx

aliya @true_loveseeker

If you ever need someone to talk to I’m always here

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Anonymous

That means a lot, and as am I, likewise. It can be so difficult parting from those that make us so happy. At least I know what I want to look for in someone now x

aliya @true_loveseeker

Same here Atleast now I know what not to look for lol and the Negatives

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Anonymous

The only negatives I had was communication on social media. And when you’re not living together that’s a pretty key thing to do. Made it tough on me. Her personality was basically a carbon copy of mine, and I found out when I talked to her today that she’s needing to see a gp about it all because it’s gotten so bad but she admitted ‘honestly, I don’t think I’m going to be able to keep up what we were like before’ so I knew that not having that much energy invested in me, I had to end it because I need reciprocated energy back at me. When she’s upset I get it, and you can’t always be energetic, but I can’t wait around for months putting my life on hold, giving myself girlfriend problems when we’re not actually official. If we were committed to each other it’d be a different story, but when there’s no guarantee in anything, I can’t put that much on the line x

aliya @true_loveseeker

That makes sense. I mean look at me I fought like an idiot with the world for this guy. He was perfect but he let everyone around him influence him which ruined us. Not once multiple times I caught him talking low about me to other guys. So you don’t deserve someone who wasn’t even yours. After 3 years ran off to a chick who he called his sister all his life. Lol so ya

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Anonymous

Yeah that’s pretty messed up of him. Even when I was finding it difficult, when people would say what she was doing was wrong, I’d try to be unbiased and just see how she might be feeling about it. I’d never talk low on her, and even now that I’m not talking to her, I don’t want to say she’s a bad person, like her ex did. Yeah, it wasn’t a great method of dealing with her problem, but I sort of understand that she’s in a rough spot in her life, and she can’t cope with it all atm. I can’t say that she didn’t sort of lead me on, because she did, but it can be difficult to face your demons when you’re already in your own personal hell. I’m sure things will work out for you, and I’m hoping things will work out for me, but at the moment we just need to focus on ourselves and find someone who treats us right. Like said in bojack horseman, it can be difficult to see red flags when you go round looking through rose sunglasses. Now that me an you have them taken off, it’s a lot easier to spot them coming up. Hope you’re still doing okay x

Profile picture for Now&Me member @chaithu

chaithu @chaithu

Well that happens , and im really proud that you pulled through it this far , and there is nothing as “good enough” he just didn’t want you and maybe he was not interested anymore , that doesn’t mean that u r not good enough , not everything is easy when it comes to life right? Its okay to live through this and its okay to break down and bounce back , i wish u all the very best and i believe u r gonna change everything to your way again

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Anonymous

It’s really hurtful what happened and yes you’re right we have to go through shit to be strong but I just wish I could enjoy all that I’ve worked hard for instead of thinking about the times where I wasn’t enough Bcz I didn’t own a big house or an expensive car at that moment

Profile picture for Now&Me member @chaithu

chaithu @chaithu

Having possessions will never make you enough , they just makes your status or stature enough.

This thought has been deleted by the thought author

aliya @true_loveseeker

Thank you so much. The sad part is that his mom manipulated him to leave me because our so called charts didn’t match. And the girl he’s with now she was my friend and manipulating the whole time as well calling us co dependent. And the second we broke up she played the sympathy card and hooked up with him. While she was lying and manipulating me the whole time.

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Anonymous
Having someone to talk to wouldn't hurt
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