Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

yeahh idk. the amount of shit i’ve piled up over the years is just so…idk confusing ig?? i mean i know why im sad n all but at the same time i feel like there is no need to be sad cuz ik its all a waste of time and blah blah blah.bit im just lost like i feel numb idk wtf im saying cuz idk how to even describe what im feeling.anyways for the past 9 months every single day like every single fucking day i just imagine killing my self but when it comes to me killing myself i just cant get myself to do it i’ve tried cutting my wrists then i went to a hospital and pussied out ive tried shooting myself but just couldn’t pull the trigger ive taken almost every singe pill i have at my house and i through up even though i try not to i’ve tried jumping of a bridge bit couldn’t get myself to do it idk what im supposed to do tbh. i haven’t seen any one for the past 2 years i dont go out of my room ive been in my room without even getting out for 3 weeks i do everything in my room i haven’t talked to a single soul other than my mom for a whole fucking year i cant sleep or sometimes i just sleep for days and days yea idk what im saying its just what came to mind