What I’m about to share is something very disturbing. Its something I haven’t ever told anyone and its been hurting and burdening me since forever.
All this had happened when my age was between 9 and 12.
It all started when my elder brother started touching me inappropriately. He is 3years older than me. He used to touch me and I didn’t understand at that time what was happening. Two or three times when I was asleep he used to touch me weirdly and I would wake but I didn’t open my eyes and pretended to be asleep. I didn’t know what was happening and what should I do. He’s also took off my trousers twice. At first it felt good at that time coz of the hormones and all but eventually I realized what was really happening. I started to stop him and avoid him.
He started using force. Once I was in the shower and he tried opening the doorlock using a screwdriver.
Its been 6,7 years since all this has stopped.
But I feel so grossed out whenever I think of it. Sometimes I feel so guilty and I feel I’ve done a really big sin as I didn’t stop him in the beginning. I don’t know who’s fault it was. It just hurts. I really wish I could forget all that…
This happened to me also while I was a kid, my sister used to seduce me but I didn’t get it that time, one day our whole family went to market to buy groceries she and I left alone in our house then that day she raped me but still I didn’t get it but I did enjoyed it lol, now I lost my virginity to my sister that wanted to give it to my life partner
I feel guilty about it because I enjoyed it
Oh man. I’m sorry that happened to you…
I just still can’t understand sometimes that whether I should feel guilty about all it or not… sometimes I really do hate myself for not stopping it earlier…