We have all had tragedy in our life. I am at a point where I just want someone to hold my hand and help guide me back. I have made poor decisions based on the needs of others. I have always attracted others In my life that “needed help”. I put my own life spirit to the side to the point of loosing myself.
At my age I should know better. This time I have helped my boyfriend and his family out. Both his mom and dad past. Helped care for both. We have taken on his challenged sister age 47 in, had his 25 year old son move in for 2 years around the same time as all this. Helped the boyfriend quit a couple of addictions himself while dealing with his health issues. All this had happened in the past 3.5 years of being together.
All I ever want in Life is a very simple, stable life. I love the outdoors, gardening, calmness, simple things in life, deep conversations. I dont have a best friend or many friends at all. I feel numbness and want to hide and catch my breath. I am working full time at min wage picking up as many hours as I can at work to pay all my debt leaving nothing left.
I live in a daydream world to help escape the world I have allowed to happen. Fear of hurting others feelings always locks me into situations. I cannot blame anyone but myself.
I am just mentally and physically drained and just want to be the one rescued in life.