Somedays it’s hard. To be yourself, to get out of bed, to just put on a happy face. But what makes this much worse is the fact that everyone knows you’re suffering and they are willing to leave you alone in it.
I want to know did I do the wrong thing ? I’m a medical student and I believed that if my classmates knew my medical condition, they’d be a bit more supportive when the going got tough.
Instead, excuse my language, shit went down and people called me dramatic and a a liar. My boyfriend’s friends convinced him to break up with me and now, I’m a social pariah.
I just want to get better. I’m tired of losing people. For once, I want someone to stay even if I can’t be there for myself on those days.
It is hard, for real. And sometimes when things are going wrong, it almost feels like everything is going wrong…terribly wrong, downhill. No one seems to care, and you’re the only one who seems to be at the receiving end of things. And this is partly a feeling, and partly a reality too. Sometimes, everything genuinely is going downhill…and that phase might last a while and the only way I was able to bring myself out of it was to ignore the chaos in my personal life and resume involving myself deeply in my work. And that worked for me. And when success comes along, these very people who ignored once, come running back. Not that you should want such people in your life, but that’s just how people can be. I can understand your disappointment at not being understood by fellow medical students. These are perhaps the most logically sound people you would be expecting, and for them to act like that, must have taken a serious toll on you. But it all does boil down to, people are the same at their very core. They’re scared, insecure, they take. that out on other people. And my advice would still be the same. To pour yourself into things that bring you joy, possibly your studies. Might make them jealous for all you care, but at least you’ll be thriving. If you’re a med student, how about you consult the psych wing at your college? I’m sure you would have some access, so utilise those resources. You know you need to get better, so don’t stop yourself from getting the help you deserve. And now a grown-up lesson: If people cannot support you in your darkest or lowest times, they were never your friends, to begin with. I know that sounds like such a stoic thing to say, as if I’m asking you to be alone, and all by yourself. But rather, I’m trying to warn you about the people you thought were your friends. Other people will come along. Trust me. Good people, caring, and kind who will know you for who you are, and appreciate that. Just continue doing your thing, your values, what defines you as a person, and the right people will get attracted automatically. But mind you, it’s never a lot of people. If you’re lucky you’ll find 1-2 good friends like that, at the most. Most people don’t get that either. You’ll get better, you’ve decided to, just get help, and ignore the haters. They’ll get over it on their own. ❤️
Thanks for being supportive and for many life lessons. I guess it will take time for me to get my life back on the line. It’s like relearning a basic survival instinct. I guess in that time, I need to rediscover myself and my passions. I hope by having faith and working on things, something good will come out of it
