Home / Thoughts / So this is my first post thought. Thinking about ...
p

So this is my first post thought. Thinking about it, i haven’t talked about my feelings in a while and i feel sick, mentally. I’m not happy. I have been thinking about previous trauma (may talk about later) and repeated flash backs. Its been two years from the event and I haven’t thought about it until i started getting flashbacks. Are there any triggers that i don’t know about? I don’t know. But I’m upset and its bring back old suicidal thoughts and self harm that i haven’t done in a while… I have been 7 months clean and its rising back up again.

13 Comments
If you or somebody you know is currently struggling, please please please take 10 deep breaths and reach out to somebody. Here are a few of the many resources available

Dear User, for your own safety, we urge you to NOT share any personal information [email, phone number, social media handles, address etc.] with other Now&Me users.

Post anonymously?
Anonymous

Hey there. I’m glad that you finally found the courage to share your thoughts with a bunch of like-minded strangers. Well done! Trauma is a tricky little thing to make sense of. You have to face your past demons to actually move forward as a healthy happy individual in life. Idk what this trauma is but until unless you talk about it to someone you trust and be ok with it you’ll keep getting flashes. If you don’t figure it out then trauma builds up and affects your life without you even noticing it. There might be triggers that you aren’t aware about. I’m glad that you didn’t give up and give in to self harm. When you have those thoughts please do something you love or used to love. Some healthy distraction like art, music, gardening, cooking, sports, etc… you should be very proud of your progress. I think you already know this but getting out of self harm will be very difficult, relapsing will cause you more harm than ever before. You are a strong loved individual. You can have a support system if you want. Let people in. It’ll be fine. YOU WILL FIND HAPPINESS ONE DAY.

p

I have been to therapy, forced by court and willingly.
both times hurt more than ignoring it for a year. i honestly don’t know whats healthier anymore.
should i try therapy again?

Anonymous

therapy will force you to face your trauma and then resolve it. At first it will hurt like hell but ignoring it is worse, it’s gonna resurface like those flashes you mentioned. It is quite literally like slow death. Please try therapy again. find a right therapist. You will feel better, i promise. And as for what’s healthy, small good changes are healthy. Therapy is only gonna work in a healthy good supportive environment.

Anonymous

Hey,are you okay?

p

honestly? i don’t really feel okay

Anonymous

Bub,do you want to talk about it?

p

would that be okay?

Anonymous

yes .

Anonymous

Oh shit umm yeah that happens… i usually drown myself in music… just hold on u know… if things are tough around u take a deep breath and try to find a solution… i can’t provide u with blinding positivity bt this is all i can offer

p

thank you, your thought is much appreciated, it means a lot

Hey,
Don’t worry and don’t think to much its absolutely normal to get such feelings there are days when u feel sad depressed n then in a minute or next day u feel happy n motivated. Flash back may come but u have to divert ur mind to something else something productive or else u can try keeping ur self busy with work may clean the house cook something new learn something new talk to friends n family n if u still think that is not enough then let it out don’t suppress it inside u can share it here where no one knows u we all are here to help u get out of this we will listen to u without judging u.

p

thank you, i would keep busy but i’m tired all the time and i wanna sleep or lay in bed forever. then i remember everything.

Try work out, or do online shopping to keep ur mind diverted watch something over Netflix