So I am seeing a guy from a month..and we had a plan to meet tomorrow...so today I asked him...he literally said he has lack of money rn and if I could fund this whole thing...now he spent money on alcohol last night.  He said he didn't want to he was expecting split of bill from his friends. So on call I said you can spend money on alcohol but not on our meet. Was I wrong?

On the first date he paid...and then after that we met thrice and bills were split.

I feel good...but at times I think he is money minded..

You deserve better...you deserve someone whose disciplined with his cash not this hero

Confusion

Hey you guys, i just got off from the phone from someone with whom i am trying to have a relationship. So we had a fight and then i took about 1 week or more to calm myself down and made myself to talk to that person. Now while we were on call he did a little stunt against which i cut the call and blocked him but he kept messaging to call. Apparently he is having panic attack because of what i did and then on vc he blamed me, like itne dino se baat nhi hui h or tu abhi bhi yeh kr rhi h, i am heartless. 
I saw his anger, his frustation and how he blamed me on the vc, it was a nightmare to see someone close to you reacting in the certain manner and you are being responsible for it. I felt like i have to right to live , i am the worst inspite that whole episode raised my anxiety to next level

Anxiety

Suddenly my bf is ignoring me. Does it mean he is not anymore interested in me? Should I need to be always the first one to text? 

3am Thoughts

I’m feeling helpless. You go most of your life single hoping to meet the one. And you finally do! You finally met the right one. You meet him and it’s the most amazing time. It’s everything you ever dreamed of. But the problem is he lives in Mexico and you in the USA. He can’t come easily to the United States due to not having a visa and I don’t have the funds to get him a k-1 visa. It’s like I’ve waited all my life for love and I finally get it with the most painful and difficult obstacles. Like why me, why this and why couldn’t this be easier for me :( I have been depressed but happy. I hope I can marry him and move him here with me. I deserve to be happy and I am around him. 

Love

I hate it when im on a call with my boyfriend and he starts replying to his friends' messages. It makes me angry but i think its a very small thing to get angry on and hence, i dont want to tell him. 😭

Boyfriend

Hey ! Y’all I don’t know how to even begin with. But yes I’m a boy. There’s this one guy whom I’ve been friends with but I’ve been having feelings for him secretly. He used to be my best friend in high school. But now we hardly talk, cause we always fight a lot back then. But he doesn’t know that I love him so much !!! 
Now that we’re in the same college but different semester and class. He has been avoiding me lately and whenever I text or call him he doesn’t show interest and I get that he’s trying to push me away. But I love him too much that I can’t even be without him and he has became my addiction. How do I tell him that I live him even tho I know that it will surely get messed up ??? 
#crush #hearbroken #bff

One Sided Love

I was in one sided love with a guy who didn't give a shit about me back then. It took me 1 year to move on from him cause my feelings were strong. And when I was stable I would barely made any effort to talk with him but he started to give effort and showed interest but I wasn't interested much. It went like this for about 4 months and he proposed me that he loves me genuinely. I rejected him. But he still clinges on me with his feelings and all. I rejected him harshly yesterday. Now we are not talking. I did the right thing, right?

I hate myself for this 

I wished my significant other can show more that he cares? I know maybe it's hard for him to show it through text and we're both students and we both get busy especially now that we're both having tests.   
But it feels as though he's fed up whenever I'm not in a good mood and that always leads me to try to comfort myself faster so he'll feel better instead. 

Whenever I tell this to my friends.. they would make me feel as though I'm not considerate of him and that I should leave him be because he has his tests going on. So, I always put the blame on myself and think I'm not being good enough and I that I should understand him better. 
 
I'm not saying he's a bad person. He is considerate in his own way and he does make me happy. It's just I wish on days like this where I feel the most depressed and in need of comfort and affirmation, he'll be there..

Affirmations

I am the most horrible person in the world. I am worthless. I am not a good daughter, not a good friend , not a good girlfriend nor a good person. I hate myself. I just that everyone should leave me and go on with their lives. I have a boyfriend(maybe my ex now). I love him, I care for him. But from the last one year things are not going well between(maybe again the reason  is me because I am stupid and mess up everything) because of that I tried to find peace somewhere else. I started to sext with random people(tbh it made me feel good for sometime) There I found a guy with whom I connected well and I started to share my feelings with him(used to sext with him as well). After some days my bf asked me to have sex with him(i was not ready for it) I told him that I dont want to do that but still he tried to convince me and under pressure I said that I am ready. But when the time came I didnt want to do that, I kept saying no but he kept convincing me and kept kissing me. I felt bad and then I started crying and then he stopped.(This happened two times) I know this is my mistake I shouldnt have said yes in the first place. After this incident i got really close to that guy and was drifting apart from my bf. I told my bf everything about the all the sext I had and even about that guy. I said that I want break-up but he was not ready to leave me. Today I went to meet him in the morning and we hugged. I cried. Told him that i want to be alone and I wont go to that guy. I just wanted to be alone and I mean it. Sometime later when i reached home I realised that  my bf guessed my snapchat password and logged in it(Snapchat is where I talk to that guy) I dont know. I think there was some glitch with snapchat he was able to read all the chats between me and him and he sent me a ss. I quickly changed my pass but he was still able to use my account. I paniced and asked him to uninstall snapchat. I took my keys and was going towards his house. I was driving super fast and met an accident. I quickly called my bf and told him. He came and asked me to go home. I didnt came home until he uninstalled snapchat from his phone. When I came home I texted him asking he is ok (because I know that after reading those chats he is very hurt) I feel so bad. I did this to my bf. He is hurt because of me. I know I shouldn't have done that but I just couldn't help it. Sometimes I think that i am narcissist and I need help. Maybe I do help. I dont know how many people will read this.

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts