Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

So, I am in a friends group and we’re 4 peeps. We met 2 yrs ago and then only after meeting each other, our ‘friendship’ started there. It’s like in the starting 6 months I was feeling very good and cool around them but at the same time low on confidence and self hatred was filled into me because they used to make me feel like that by saying, for eg: ‘You can’t date that man, pri’ or ‘You have to be like us! see how everyone so much love us 3 guys’. But in that period of 6 months, I didn’t realise that they were the one who were making me feel like this. And when I realise this thing, I distance myself from their plans and stuff to avoid them. And then lockdown happened which helped me totally to avoid them and trust me, I was very happy and i gained so much confidence in that time period. But then in April 2020, i told them that they were being very toxic to me (as they were not knowing about my realisation), and we had a fight! and i was very happy tbh. But then after sometime in August they begged to me and appologised to me, so I became friends with them again but this time with much cautiousness. And few months after this appologising thing happened, I again realised that they have not changed and they’re still as fake as they were before. I was not feeling good again when the school started whenever they were around me, idk i just wasn’t happy around them when i should be becos they claim me as their ‘best friend’. And whenever they were not coming to school or i’m at my home, i used to feel the happiest and real. So this was my background story with my other 3 frnds, now today a thing happened which has made me cried and unstable much (but i am already anxious due to the covid situation but anyways). today is bday of one out of these 3 friends, and the other 2 frnds are pestering me with calls for pre planning her bday cake and more gifts and stuff. and literally they have posted insta stories and have made videos. Now why i am feeling mad is becos my bday was in January, and none of them even wished me like at 12 am or made stories or vids for me, and i can care less about them, but why are they like forcing me to participate in the pre planning of the bday person and if i am ignoring their calls, i am the rude one in the eyes of them. And the thing is that i can care less about that person’s bday, but then in the memory videos the other 2 frnds have tagged me in it and put my pics, vids in them, and i feel like rude to not put even one bday story for that person who has bday, so i put it and i also answered back their call (which was for the cake thing), and i was playful and chill with that friend but she seemed like very low ig becos i didn’t answer her calls, and then she said that ‘today is her bday and we have sent the cake to her place’ and i made a joke (tho serious remark) that why don’t you do all this on my bday? and then she said that ‘it’s not like that’ i very disinteresting tone, and then she hung up the call saying that she has to sleep. I felt bad after that and i deleted the story from insta which i put before calling her. and now i am feeling like very rude person to made that remark and then to delete the story:( honestly i don’t want to even talk with them, i want to get out from each every social media group that we have made for four of us, i want to leave those groups, but then i feel like: how i will do that? how rude will i get? and they don’t understand me and they’ll think that i’m sucha overreacting person? trust me, if you’ve read so far i very much appreciate it, and i would be very grateful if you can help me:(((😭😭