Thought

If you or somebody you know is currently struggling, please take deep breaths and reach out to somebody. Here are few resources that may help.
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Anonymous

Slight trigger Warning I’m a runner. I love to run. But lately anything that involves jumping, exercising, and running hurts.  I have flexible flat feet.  They are just like flat feet except I have have an arch then I’m not putting weight on them. So basically anytime I’m standing my arches collapse and my feet overpronate.  When you overpronate you ankles and feet roll in and down towards the floor.  As a kid I went to a thousand different places and tried different shoes and insoles.  Nothing ever worked, the insoles were painful, did fit in the shoe right or whatever. Some people say dont were shoes with all that support and some sy I need shoes with extra support. All this mixed information led me to give up on trying find out what I needed to do.  Then high school happened. I join cross country, indoor and outdoor track. I did great in cross country and even better in track. I even learned that I liked track better because in the past I only had the opportunity to do cross country.  I was so happy and then halfway through indoor track I started to feel pain.  The pain was about 2 inches above my ankle on the inner side of my leg.  It was a right in between my shin and calf.  It was confusing some days it hurt so bad and other I was completely fine. I started wearing ankle compression braces and made sure my shoes were supportive.  At first i and some other thought it was shin splints but it didn’t really seem correct.  I didnt know what to do so I pushed through the indoor season only running when I could and made sure not to over do it. Two weeks after indoor track end, outdoor conditioning started. I was fine and I didn’t feel that pain.  But as time when on it came back. By about the third week it was back and just as painful. I was so upset, my coach would say to get insoles and I would say that I have them they never worked. The athletic trainer said we can do stretches.  That same week at conditioning I was going easy aside from the one day. I screwed up and overdid it because I missed it and I was feeling good and was so happy. The next days I regretted it bc I irritated my legs and couldn’t run. I sat there at conditioning watching everyone, holding back tears. The worry of never being able to run again, the anger of not knowing what to do.  I remember a comment someone made, suggest I get a surgery. At the time brushed it off, remember from past research there were not many options. I grabbed my phone and started looking things up.  Better ankle braces, different sneakers, exercises, surgeries and more. Surgeries  have long recovery time and you have to do one foot at a time and aren’t usually recommended. The surgeries are mainly for flat feet not flexible flat feet. I soon learned that day of conditioning I sat through was my last one. Next thing I knew my school and everything along with it closed because the Coronavirus spread to where I live.  My coach remained hopeful that we would return and needed to be ready to hit the ground running. He told me to take some time off. I guess it is my fault I underexaggered the pain to my coach so I wouldn’t have to stop running but others around me led me to think I was fine and it was nothing. Don’t get me wrong some of my friends told me to straight up stop running. I was in denial, hell I still kind of am. Doing online school trapped at home make things worse. I took about a week off and only did core. But after that week I was back trying to run. I was trying the elliptical and treadmill but the pain although not as bad was still there.  I began to lose hope and the one thing I used as an escape began to only cause me pain.  The stress from being home add to it too. Everytime I would try to get an easy workout run in, the pain would be back and so were the thoughts. Thoughts about having to quit and not being able to run again. The anger that my parents won’t listen to how bad it is and help me find a solution. The loneliness from everyone I told not being able to understand. I just stopped  and  that brings me to now, march 28 about a week later. I still don’t know what to do but I’m done crying about it at night and feeling so depressed about life. I have decided I’m going to keep trying till I find the solution. I’m going to do as many excercises as I need to strengthen my feets and try to find the right gear for me.  It’s going to be hard and I don’t  know how long I can do this. I feel so only and suffocated in my own house. I need to keep going because running is worth it

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3 replies
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Anonymous

Hello! I absolutely love how strong, courageous and hopeful you are. The last lines that you’ve written about you trying till you can because running is worth it, inspired me!❤️
 
I somewhat understand what you’re going through. I’m going to share my experience with you here, maybe it helps.
 
I powerlift and I absolutely love it. As running is for you, weight lifting is for me. About 3 years back, I got a knee injury due to which I wasn’t able to train for months. I was in rehab etc. And at that time my doc did tell me that I wouldn’t be able to train heavy again. But I continued to do my rehab exercises and after a few months started to lift again but not so heavy. I used to always be scared of training legs or doing heavy squats and deadlifts. I couldn’t do jumping exercises, I couldn’t do the simple step-ups and I couldn’t run. So whenever any friend of mine asked me to go for a run with them, it used to trigger me - and I used to feel so worthless. I continued to do simple light training for a year. I was able to build strength in weight training over time but running and jumping was still a big no no. I was scared to even try it because of the pain and repercussions. 
 
3 years later, i.e. now, I started feeling a little better so I considered going for a run with my friend when he asked. I went for the run, I was fine for 20 minutes and then felt a sudden shooting pain in my knee. I ignored it and ran for an hour. The next day, my pain was backkkk. I had to go for rehab all over again. After that I decided that I will try and build up my running stamina as well, slowly. I started running 5 minutes everyday and gradually increased it to 10, 15, 20 minutes. My pain came back after 2 weeks. Then I kind of decided that I won’t run again, because it has been 3 years and this just doesn’t subside. I will jog or walk or incline walk but I can’t run or jump.
 
I know it’s a different case for you, but I’ll just say that try till the time you can! Try till the time you have it in you to face the rejection of not being able to. Don’t give up unless every inch of you actually ends up believing that you won’t be able to run again.
 
Take care and stay strong. All the best!❤️

Rae @nm_user_1586183468593

Thank you so much!! You are so inspiring. I hate that things like injury try to limit us but in the end we can come out stronger and i just hope i can too

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Anonymous

Thank you so much!!! Hope you’re doing well!❤️

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