Recently i went through a very traumatic experience, life and death situation of a very close family member. Now he is fine but i don't seen to recover from this. The moment i close my eyes i get anxious and feel such situation might happen again. I don't know how am i going to recover from this situation. Its affecting my health. I am unable to eat or sleep properly. I don't know what to do. 

Anxiety

"If we ever stop talking, and you don't know how to come back, send me a song.”

Music

I always posted sad things here but today i wanna say i have cleared my ca inter group 2 attempt..i am ca finalist now i am so happy and grateful..i am blessed i feel.. always remember if you are in dark rn there will be light on the other side of the tunnel..this shall too pass and happy moments will come for sure

Celebration

Life isn't scripted bro..🙄
Live the way u want😽🔪

Friends

you know it's all so painful. I've been in a relationship where my alter-ego tells me that I insist him to suicide. He always says that I am a bad person, I cannot love someone, I can only affect their mental health badly. The way he punishes me is he blocks me or doesn't talk to me. I have no friends. He always tries to disparage me. With him I have constant fear of abandonment always. Our family knows about us, and we might get married soon. Whenever I try to share my thoughts he always says I am stupid to think. I changed my life completely just to make him talk to me. He forces me to change my opinion on everything. Whenever I asks him to change himself or anything, he always tells me to change myself first then point at him. I have been in an abusive relationship before too and never wanted to make this one the same. I don't share anything with anyone. I feel so alone every single time. I have no one to listen, to solve my problems. I cannot handle it alone anymore.

Emotional Abuse

I have a problem. 

I’ve always understood myself explicitly and I’ve always known what I’ve wanted. I didn’t believe in love, well no, that’s not right, I didn’t believe that I could ever love the way normal people loved. I’ve seen it everywhere, movies, tv shows, from friends and family and it’s always been a concept I could never truly grasp. Lovesick? Love blind? Missing someone so much you can’t function properly? Not able to get enough of that special person no matter how much time you spend with them? I didn’t understand any of it.

I always get tired of spending too much time with one person. I never missed someone so much that it hurt. I was always able to see people’s flaws for what they are. I thought I was the only one, and to be honest it scared me that I could never experience this allegedly wonderful feeling.

But, I've met someone.

At first it was like any other relationship. Talking with them got boring after a while. I wasn’t running and checking my phone by the hour to see if they texted. My heart didn’t jump at their notifications. We just talked about normal things and it felt the same as any other relationship.

But then things started to change. 

They confessed to me, I was flattered but I knew 100% that I couldn’t return their feelings at that moment in time. And like any other time when it came to confessions, I felt guilty for my ‘inability to love’ mindset. But I brushed it off and hoped that this wouldn’t change our friendship, because I may not have returned their feelings but I did value our friendship. 

After a while, close to a year of being friends. I started to talk to them more. Spending more time with them then doing other productive things. I found myself putting things off just so I can have a few moments to speak with them. This has never happened before, usually after confessions, it could go one of two ways: one, we slowly start to drift apart until we are barely talking to each other, or two, we don’t drift, we stay as friends, but there is a noticeable distance between us. 

But for this one, there was no distance, I didn't feel like there was a wedge between us at all, in fact there was a pull that I couldn’t understand. This person understood me more in a year than my closest friends did my whole life and it was a nice feeling. I found myself keeping my phone close to me most of the time, checking it whenever I get a notification thinking it was them, them feeling crushing disappointment when it wasn’t, but feeling relief when it was. I caught myself smiling every time I talked with them. I stayed up late every day just to talk to them. I changed my schedule to match theirs. I started to feel an emptiness when I wasn’t with them. Even my old hobbies that used to fill up any emptiness in my heart failed to do their jobs. When they talked with others in that casual manner of theirs, I felt a pang in my chest that could only be jealousy. It was becoming a problem, it’s like I couldn’t live without their good morning texts and our late night chats. All I ever wanted to do was talk to them all day, and not do anything else. I shamefully find myself fantasizing what it would be like to be a couple. 

Now I know what it sounds like…..love. But there’s more. My background, ethnicity and religion are almost opposite of theirs. Getting together would be extremely difficult and in my mind, not worth it. If I was truly falling for them, wouldn’t I want to fight and do whatever is necessary to be with them? I don’t feel any of that determination nor urgency. So is it really love?


Love

"Giving somone a second chance is like giving them another bullet because they missed the first one".

"Work in silence and destroy them”. let your success make the noise".

"If they stand behind you protect them, if they stand beside you respect them, if they stand against you

"Walk like you own the place or walk like you dont care who does".

"A scar proves you are stronger than your last fight". "The harder you

work and the better u get, people get jealous, that's why a bus has 30 seats, and a lamborghini has 2."

-Facts.eb

Life

Koi partner chahiye ...jo loyal ho, jispe bharosa kr saku...bhut dhoke khaa liya...m thak gya 💔❤️‍🩹

3am Thoughts

Yrrr, I'm feeling soo h0r.ny nowadays😩

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts