Q&A with Kunashni Parikh on January 20, 2021.
Hello Now&Me Fam, we’re proud and super happy to announce our 1st Q&A of the new year-2021 with Kunashni Parikh! ⭐️
Kunashni is a Sport Psychologist with a background in Behavioural Neuroscience and Clinical Psychology. She works with Elite National and International Athletes to enhance their performance through Mental Strength Training.
She uses an understanding of the mind-body relationship to help individuals improve their overall well-being.
🆒 Fact : Kunashni has been the former Vice-Captain and Goalkeeper for the Junior India Football Team and the Goalkeeper for Vancouver United Football Club in Canada. She is also passionate about the Neuroscience of Mental Well-being and how the Brain affects our Mood and Performance.
This is a FREE & open discussion!
You can post your questions below by January 19, 2020 (Tuesday).
Kunashni would be answering them right here on this thread on January 20, 2021 (Wednesday).
Asking questions shows strength, not weakness.
🧡 Ask away and stay informed! 🧡
If you would like to speak to a professional privately, you can refer to the list of professionals mentioned here: https://nowandme.com/resources/experts
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For the 1st time I just came to a hostel and This roommate of mine is suffering through serious depression. There are many points which confirm this fact like trying so many ways to suicide & taking excess pills. She knows about it. It has been years. She hide it so so so well. Idk how, but she spoke about everything to me while crying really bad. She spoke to her parents but they are fuckin toxic and they think she’s doing this to run away from her studies. And now we are stuck in hostel. We don’t have enough money to go for online therapy. She is begging herself every second to live a happy life but she can’t & all that she’s going through is really bad and I want to help her. Please tell me what can I do?
Hi, it is really great that you are currently there for your friend. It can be very difficult to know what to do in such a situation. By actively listening and physically being present you have taken the first responsible steps. It is extremely important for your roommate to get immediate professional support. There are online services that provide very low cost mental health support and there are also national support helplines. Here is what you must do: 1) Make sure that there is always someone around your friend in a physical presence. Accompany them for daily errands. Don’t leave them alone when they are vulnerable. 2) Keep checking on them and monitor their daily activities and thoughts as much as possible. 3) Look for Professional Assistance in the form of Online Therapy or In-Person. Encourage them to reach out for support 4) Accept your role and its limitations. It is natural to feel helpless in such a situation. Be actively present, alert, and look for professional support, that is one of the best ways you can help your friend right now. Take care and reach out to me if you need further help. Here is my email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Hi Kunashni! I’ve always struggled with anger and jealousy but over the last few weeks it’s gotten a lot worse. Do you have any tips for controlling jealousy and anger, or letting it out without hurting anyone else? Because I’m lost, the less depressed I become, the more I’m able to feel my anger and I don’t want to hurt my family again!
Hi there! Jealousy and Anger can be a tricky combination when coming out of feeling depressed. Jealousy originates from the root of comparison and a sense of inferiority. To overcome this jealousy, reflect on what is making you jealous. Make a list of all the things that you have and are grateful for, this will help reduce the jealousy.
For Anger here are 3 tips –
1) Practice deep breathing and holding your breathe on a regular basis. This calms the body down immediately. When you are struggling for air, you can’t really think about anything else and start to feel grateful for the oxygen that is now coming in, this automatically calms the body down with long term effects of becoming less angry.
2) Let out your anger by writing everything that makes you angry and burning the piece of paper or shredding it apart. It is a small trick that will release some steam without hurting anyone else.
3) When you start feeling angry and feel you cannot handle yourself, move away from the trigger or situation. Wash your hands, feet, and face with cold water. This cools down the body and now being out of the situation you can slowly introspect on the situation and contemplate your actions.
These are quick fixes; there is a lot more self-work you’ll have to do to get to the root of the anger and the changes you can make towards a peaceful life.
thank you so much I’ll try it!
This is so exciting!
Indeed! Looking forward to what people have to share!
Hey Kunashni, I wanted to know if it’s wrong to follow your passion even if you’re not gifted with the skill. I mean, is it wrong to have hobbies despite being talented in the field? Are we supposed to do things only if we are perfect in doing them? Whenever I try to be passionate about my hobbies, I’m always poked fun of, so does that mean I should give up on those?
It is misconception that you must follow a hobby that you are good at. If you start doing things only that you are perfect in, you will start living a robotic and not a human life. People will always be there to poke fun and judge, perhaps due to the lesser exciting things they are doing and a tendency to discourage those around them. Based on someone else’s opinion, it doesn’t mean you stop doing what makes you happy. We have a gift of life to enjoy, if you spend it doing things only that you are good at and not what you enjoy, because of what other people say, are you then really enjoying this life given to you?
Looking forward to the Q&A Session.
What you able to shed some light on any of the nutritional aspects as well? I’m interested in building a fit and strong body but keep hearing/reading info that people on a vegetarian diet - this is not possible.
Other alternative suggested was to use protein powders with adjusted diet. However, in men - a consumption of this would increase estrogen levels and the opposite in women. A clarification on this would be much appreciated.
Watch the film “The Game Changers”. A fit and light body is more attainable with a vegetarian diet, which has been well-documented in scientific literature. I would not suggest protein powders to enhance muscle strength, as this can be done naturally with the kind of foods you chose to eat. Any external chemical will cause some or the other unwanted effect in your body like changes in hormone levels and other changes which sometimes go undetected.
Improve your sleep hygiene, eat fresh, workout regularly, and stay hydrated, fitness is not a chemical reaction but a conscious health decision.
Thanks Kunanshi. I will check it out.
VEDIKA PRASAD @vedika2508
Hello ma’am it’s really nice to see you. I have a question, there are times when our miseries stem from a certain something and we ought to get caught in our daily routine and overtime we forget about them, few days after something again happens, it’s like a trigger of sorts and these are just small things that might cause big cathartic effects…but the same thing happens we tend to get busy in our routine and then we are happy at times, sad most of the times and everything seems normal, little do we know that the causes are still effecting us, over time we get bored of the things we do, the things we were seeking pleasure in and everything starts to bore us, and we feel the want to give up we drive at a conjecture that life has no meaning, everything that we do has no meaning, it feels like there is no outcome of anything we do and then we again start questioning the whole trajectory of life and mankind yk like having a goal, finding love? For mere existence? What would you suggest for a person who feels like this mam? It will be really helpful and appreciative if you would give some helpful suggestions on this regard.
Hi there, To address the first part, when you get caught in your daily routine and forget and avoid the triggers that cause you misery, you are only allowing it to supress further in your subconscious which undoubtedly will come out one day and take you by surprise. It is extremely important to take full note of the triggers that are bothering you and take action on them so the trigger stops becoming a trigger. This can happen through conscious reflection, therapy, and addressing the root of the trigger.
To address the second part, when you feel that you have no meaning in life – understand that it is phase the philosophical human inevitably goes through. There is more than plenty meaning in life waiting to be found by an individual like you. The fault is in the search for the meaning of existence rather than the appreciation of the experience of existence. Start living in the present moment, give less time to whirlpooling philosophical ponderings, and practice mindfulness, meaning will soon emerge. Mindfulness, yoga, and meditation are gateways through which people began to find meaning in their life, even the famous Steve Jobs and Zuckerberg, among plenty. Not because it gives you the answer, but it allows your mind to de-clutter to find the answer right there itself, in front of you all along. A lot of people who suffer from nihilism (look this up), and hopelessness, boredom, and anhedonia, are because the mind has led to suffer in words, meaning, and tangential philosophies. Most people who found a way out of this, went through either a life-threatening incident or began their spiritual journey, both of which make you appreciate more on the present, start giving you meaning, and make you a whole-rounded happier person. It can be difficult being stuck in a mindset like this, trust me, I know. But also know this, that it is temporary phase of being stuck in a maze, with a light at the end waiting to be lit. You will soon untangle the mystery, the fastest way is through spirituality.
VEDIKA PRASAD @vedika2508
noted ma’am thanks alot, i will ask people and will myself try to put this into practice, this was very informative ma’am! :) thankyou once again for all the help you provide each one of us. <3😀
Hi Kunashni. My question is related to combat sports and the mental training one requires to be successful at it. Apart from the physical aspects of training, I have always struggled with the fear of getting hit and managing the stressors associated with it. Strange, considering that in a controlled stress environment, I’m unable to switch to the Fight response (from fight or flight) at will. Is there something you recommend to specifically work on this?
Hi there! to be able to switch from fight to flight mode at will and vice-versa your mind needs to process information faster and make quicker decisions to know when it is appropriate to attack and when to defend. Fear is a natural response when we feel no control over the situation. For the fear to go down, the mind needs to feel in control and this happens when you begin mental training. To be not just physically strong, but mentally tough in your sport is what I tell all the athletes that I work with – You have to start working just as hard on your mental skills training as much as your physical workouts. Then you can move your mind at will towards any response. Visualization is a popular technique in Sport that helps strengthen the mind’s control. Meditation is a another tool to get more mental control. If you would like to learn more and start training mentally for your sport, reach out to me, I will be happy to guide you through your journey.
Hie, I just wanna know few tips to increase productivity cause I tend to procrastinate a lot. I get distracted easily and spend so much time on social media and I get really worried looking at all the left over work and cannot decide where to start and continue the cycle.
Hey there, Time Yourself for time spent on Social Media with a pre-determined set Limit. Keep a Timer and Switch Off Your phone after this deadline. When all distractions are away the only thing you have in front of you is your work. Another technique is to reward yourself when you finish some amount of work. Break up the work in small steps and focus just on the first one, this will help feeling less overwhelmed. When the first few steps are done, reward yourself with favourable activity like your favourite food, or fifteen minutes on social media. Set the timer limit again, and go for the next round. Self-regulate yourself, you have the control of how the day turns out.
Thank you @kunashni . Since my lectures are available only on Mobile or Ipad it has become quite difficult to concentrate. I shall try to start slowly and increasing the pace. Your answer feels helpful. 💯
Akash Dalal @skybroker
i have 2 personality in me.
the one is totally negative person, a totally dull and annoying piece of shit who is fearful afraid of being neglected.
but when i talk to someone i always talk positive with them. emphaty them. encourage them. give them a sense of being that i m here for you wearas i m not for myself.
i totally change other people perspective when i m talking with them but in reality of my own i m too negative about myself every single moment i think i m gonna get something terrible to myself.
but when someone talks to be i m a mature motivator and hopeful person for others…
what a trash person i am to myself that i don’t know who is me. this is eating me from inside…
Hi there, It is clear that you have a lot of compassion and empathy and a will to make others feel good about themselves, but this is lacking when it comes to yourself. There are things about yourself that you are not happy with, may be your past choices, the way you treat yourself, or certain features about your personality. When you figure out what these reasons are, you can start to change them. You need to befriend yourself and start by being the motivator or encourager within, to become someone who loves their own company. This will further fuel your positivity when you reach out to motivate other people. Self-love is key. But to get there, you have to do some self-work first. You can get there, start small, and reach out for more help on where to begin. All the best!
Can we change the person we love ? My boyfriend will never value my feelings he keeps on hurting me . But still he always says he loves me the most even to his family and friends . I couldn’t able to change him or even not able to leave him?!
Actions are more important than words. It’s about how he makes you feel, not what he tells other people about you. To try to change the other person in a relationship is a recipe for distress. Instead, you can voluntarily change yourself for your partner, but if changing yourself to fit the relationship does you more harm than good or makes you unhappy, then the relationship is not the one meant for you. You have to find strength to let go of what does more harm than it does good and see the truth between the roses. You chose who you give your time, attention, respect, and love to; starting with the most important person in your life: yourself.
Yes ❤️ thank you
Hey, um, I think my mental health is slowly deteriorating when my family is around. I have thoughts of running away from home but I can’t since I’m still a teenager. My family always put good grades and if I don’t perform well, they would scold me. I regularly hide in my room and lock the door. My mom in particular always would be barging into my room without knocking. She would also make huge judgments from me and if I were to defend myself she would get mad at me for talking back. What should I do?