Okayy. Ummm. So my childhood trauma has been with me constantly. I am not over that things yet.
And now a days i keep thinking about that. My cousin used to molest me . Like he used to touch me inappropriately so many times and i was lil at that time. It happened from when i in 5th class to 10th class. Whenever i went to my paternal house it used to happen.
I have came in contact with these sexual things since i was a child. I didn’t know what was wrong or right. So when it happened to me i didn’t restrain. I didn’t say NO to him.
And one day he kissed me . Maybe then i realised how disgusted i was. I’m writing this holding my gag right now. I brushed myself i scrubed harshly all over my fave and body. I hated that. Why did it took so long to realise that.
I couldn’t say anything to anyone in my house because i think it was my fault. I never restrained him. I never said NO to him.
Now my mom talks to him . And he has the audacity to make joke about me about me being fat. Or me doing anything. Me failing my exam. And everything. He calls my mom. Sometimes video call and i swear that time when i have to hear his voice and see his face i want to kill myself that very moment. I want to kill myself. I hate myself too too much for this.
I think myself of such a whore who couldn’t say no to him. Was it my fault?
I hate myself for this till date. And the things i have done because of that. Because of not knowing what is wrong. Because of thinking it’s not wrong. It’s okay.
Even after that so many people touched me since i was lil. It all had happened when i was in 5th or 6th. Someone in the train. Someone in the bus. Some brother of my friend. Too many times at that young age.
Every now and then i remember those horrible things. I wonder why i remember that in such details.
I hate myself to the very damn core.
Was it my fault?
Girl. You didnt do any thing wrong. Our indian societies are full of creepy peoples like this. And i can understand your problems. But know that you werent wrong. Ofc no one would raise voices when you are a kid. Now it would be useless to describe those points to your parents bcoz theyll be like pehle kyu nhi bataya. But you know what take a stand for yourself. You r your most imp priority and not exposing him will be disrespectful to your own self . It will degrade you. So try exposing him. Or other thing you can do is warn that guy to stay away from you. Since you r grown up now you know how to kick on guy’s ass. So be power ful girl. Nothing is wrong with you. Our society is cheap minded. So sorry to hear this.
U r not wrong don’t u ever feel it’s ur fault.U can hate him but not yourself I know u can’t forget it.It’s okay not to be okay.U don’t abt right and wrong and that age.But ur fault is not exposing him after u know what he did was wrong to u.U still have time tell abt him to some appropriate person.Make a brave front girl.AND i am sorry u have to go through this.
See it’s not your fault if you got molested. In our country children are taught so less about good and bad touch that children don’t realise something wrong is happening with them and it’s not your fault at all. And in our households we fear to speak about something wrong happening to us, we get scared even though we do nothing wrong we tend to think it was us at fault. I think you should tell about it to your parents. And he strong buddy I hope you get over this trauma soon
Its not your fault. Im speaking with experience. He was doing this to your since u were a small. I know at that time you must have thought that it wasn’t a big deal and it was a hassle to speak up. But as u grow, you understand how wrong this is but you could not bring yourself to speak up because you have been not saying anything since a long time and then, you end up feeling disgusted with yourself because of that. Trust me your not alone. I know you want to say no but you cant bring yourself to do so. I know Its hard. But if you dont want to feel that way, then you have to say no to him , shout if u can. It will be hard but please do. Show him that you dont want it and threaten him. I know he will feel wronged because you never said no. Yeah…he is a piece of shit. Anyway, start by saying no, then threaten him that you will tell someone. If he says it was also your fault then dont bother explaining anything(bc he is a piece of shit) and just say it was not.(you can be shameless😊)Respect yourself, love yourself and have pride in who you are. Dont let asome wrong decisions in your life ruin you.
Yash @yashvsr
Hey its yash this side
It was not your fault it happened with you it was his wrong intentions
And his lust
I know its hard to recover from it I know the traumas you face and it even hurts more when he talks with your mother, makes fun of you
I know what problems girls have to face but you have to stay strong girl try to forget these traumatic moments
Tell your mother everything it will help you lose the burden you are carrying on yourself and also your mother will also be alert to keep distance from that boy
Heal yourself your bright future needs to forget these bad moments so that you can achieve your dreams
In any case you want to have a conversation and you feel I can help you lose the burden iand trauma you are carrying feel free to ping me on insta - yashpeswani_22
I will be happy to help you
Or I can help you here also
its a bad and dark past which can’t be reversed but please forget it for your own happiness
Be Happy ,Spread Positivity
Hi , it wasn’t ur fault at all,u acted exactly what we are taught by society ,to
Hide such things ,to keep quite etc, u acted according to ur understanding about notion of victim blaming , but u should tell ur mother atleast, speaking up is the only solution .
Stay strong
More power to u ✊
I faced the same thing from two of my cousins I know how it feels stay strong dear
It was not your fault dear. it never was. Expose that cousin… tell your mother about it… stand for yourself… he is just bullying you and he thinks you are weak. He will continue to do this and may be he is thinking worse… please be strong and stand for yourself.
wish u lot of strength my dear
You recited my life too sister. This has happened to me by my cousin brother. Now I hate myself and that pedophile.
We are not wrong, we were brought up that way… We are different now, we have changed. If something like that happens now I can slap or even beat that person up.
