My wife has almost no sex drive due to a side effect of a medication she has. We have been less and less intimate in the 5 years we have been together. When we were dating we stopped having sex to wait till we got married and I didn’t think much of it other than the challenge and we have been married almost 2 years now and have had actual sex less than 6 times since marriage. It’s frustrating because she says she will make a doctors appointment to change her meds but then never does. And she will get emotional about it if we start talking about it so I try to bring it up at most once or twice a month. She finally has an appointment only because she can’t renew her meds over the phone. I don’t want to divorce my wife but it might come down to it. Sometimes I feel like I need to be more patient but other times I feel like I have been patient enough and need to bring up divorce with her we get along and have a great relationship but I don’t want to ruin it for my sexual desires.
Hey there !
I can understand ur feelings
From what it seems to be u love ur wife and i hope she does too…
Sex is part of a relationship that is true but never think of leaving her on its basis. U should talk to her more openly and why not accompany her to the doctor, discuss with the doctor
So that this part of your relation recovers soon and u have a happy life…
No marriage is perfect
U just have to try to mend the gaps yourself instead of blaming her.
Go and talk to her
I understand what she’s going through. I was only born with one working ovary which its tube is pinched. The tube that is completely clear has no ovary.
My hormones were rushing earlier than usual, I always felt like I was missing something that made me an outcast to other females - I never felt like I could bond with them. Imagine being 8 years old, having sexual feelings towards boys your age. Guys at that time aren’t interested in girls at that time so, yeah I was stuffed.
I found out about my physical predicament in my early 30s. By this time, I wasn’t really feeling the need to have sex but I do it anyway to make my husband happy. Besides, when I start to get grumpy for no reason, I know that it’s time for a poke!
We’ve been together for 15 years and although he could have dumped me for a woman who could actually give him children or sex more often, but he’s stayed with me and I feel blessed. We talk about whatever is bothering us and it definitely helps. Even though, I’m quite reluctant to talk about what I’m thinking and feeling, I still push myself to do it.
My mom didn’t have sex with my dad for a decade but he still stuck around because he loved her very much. After my sister and I moved out, she told me one time that he was taking the “blue pill” and she giggled like a school girl. I was shocked that she was speaking that way to me but in a good way!
For yourself, you need to figure out what you think is important in a relationship (aka having a partner). If sex is very important to you and its frustrating you that she isn’t participating in fulfilling your sexual desires, then I suggest a couples sex therapist?
Sex isn’t the only way to express affection. You could ask her what you can do to provide affection in a way that she wants and maybe she’ll reciprocate it in a way that you would like affection.
If she doesn’t want to participate in having sex with you, then I can only suggest that if you still want to be married to her, then suggest an open marriage; you can fulfil your sexual desires but still come back to her.
Regardless of what you decide to do, I recommend speaking to a couples therapist about your relationship; what you want out of the relationship, what she wants, etc and ultimately it could help BOTH of you decide on if you want to stay married to each other.
Good Luck.
