My wife has almost no sex drive due to a side effect of a medication she has. We have been less and less intimate in the 5 years we have been together. When we were dating we stopped having sex to wait till we got married and I didn’t think much of it other than the challenge and we have been married almost 2 years now and have had actual sex less than 6 times since marriage. It’s frustrating because she says she will make a doctors appointment to change her meds but then never does. And she will get emotional about it if we start talking about it so I try to bring it up at most once or twice a month. She finally has an appointment only because she can’t renew her meds over the phone. I don’t want to divorce my wife but it might come down to it. Sometimes I feel like I need to be more patient but other times I feel like I have been patient enough and need to bring up divorce with her we get along and have a great relationship but I don’t want to ruin it for my sexual desires.
Hey there !
I can understand ur feelings
From what it seems to be u love ur wife and i hope she does too…
Sex is part of a relationship that is true but never think of leaving her on its basis. U should talk to her more openly and why not accompany her to the doctor, discuss with the doctor
So that this part of your relation recovers soon and u have a happy life…
No marriage is perfect
U just have to try to mend the gaps yourself instead of blaming her.
Go and talk to her
I understand what she’s going through. I was only born with one working ovary which its tube is pinched. The tube that is completely clear has no ovary.
My hormones were rushing earlier than usual, I always felt like I was missing something that made me an outcast to other females - I never felt like I could bond with them. Imagine being 8 years old, having sexual feelings towards boys your age. Guys at that time aren’t interested in girls at that time so, yeah I was stuffed.
I found out about my physical predicament in my early 30s. By this time, I wasn’t really feeling the need to have sex but I do it anyway to make my husband happy. Besides, when I start to get grumpy for no reason, I know that it’s time for a poke!
We’ve been together for 15 years and although he could have dumped me for a woman who could actually give him children or sex more often, but he’s stayed with me and I feel blessed. We talk about whatever is bothering us and it definitely helps. Even though, I’m quite reluctant to talk about what I’m thinking and feeling, I still push myself to do it.
My mom didn’t have sex with my dad for a decade but he still stuck around because he loved her very much. After my sister and I moved out, she told me one time that he was taking the “blue pill” and she giggled like a school girl. I was shocked that she was speaking that way to me but in a good way!
For yourself, you need to figure out what you think is important in a relationship (aka having a partner). If sex is very important to you and its frustrating you that she isn’t participating in fulfilling your sexual desires, then I suggest a couples sex therapist?
Sex isn’t the only way to express affection. You could ask her what you can do to provide affection in a way that she wants and maybe she’ll reciprocate it in a way that you would like affection.
If she doesn’t want to participate in having sex with you, then I can only suggest that if you still want to be married to her, then suggest an open marriage; you can fulfil your sexual desires but still come back to her.
Regardless of what you decide to do, I recommend speaking to a couples therapist about your relationship; what you want out of the relationship, what she wants, etc and ultimately it could help BOTH of you decide on if you want to stay married to each other.