My parents think that I will account to nothing in life. I wont be successful and people hate me and will always hate me. They have on numerous occasions told me that they hate me. When I cry my mum asks me not to cry because crying is a bad omen and something bad will happen in the house. Whenever she is pissed I am on the receiving end and she has called me with derogatory terms and I have no right to ask her to stop because if I do so she shouts more at me
You and I will not know what goes in her mind when she says all this, but one thing is sure that being your parents they would not want anything bad for you.
I would suggest you to stop worrying about what they say and start working on yourself. The only thing you can do is to show them that you are not unworthy and will definitely do something in your life.
You should help you mum in her chores and try to communicate with her. Learn some new skill and keep yourself busy so that you have no time to think about all this stuff.
There are so many platforms right now where you can showcase your skill and who knows where you might end up one day.
My only suggestion is dont take their negtive comments in a negative way, take it as a motivation to build yourself up and show everybody what you can do.
“Life is what you make of it, not how it is.”
No.
She doesn’t have to show them that is not unworthy.
No child should hear from their parents that they are unworthy. No parent should ever say derogatory things to their children. Parents should nurture and support.
Please don’t take your mom’s abuse as a sign that there is anything wrong with you and you need to be worthy to hear good things from her. That is totally BS.
Your mom’s abuse and derogatory speaking are signs that she has problems. Maybe in her job, maybe in her relationship, maybe who knows what. And not a reflection of your value.
My first statement was that only that her mother has something going on in her mind which we don’t know, I never said she is unworthy or feel so.
Instead of being about negative about comments. She should rather ignore them and work on herself. Anybody would feel bad after hearing such comments, but if there is no way she can stop them, she should just ignore them.
Simran @st1199
@pufoshica, there is no problem with the mother because of her job, or a relationship. It’s NOT abusing too.
Parents do this with their children and it’s fine. Sometimes it’s good for us with negative motivation to work hard, sometimes it’s just because of anger, and rarely it’s because they actually mean it. The child knows the best out of all these. It’s also because of the generation gap things work and they don’t totally understand us as a child and our individual life.
Simran @st1199
Hi!
Parents do use harsh words sometimes which they shouldn’t. And, they don’t realize it afterward which they must. They don’t think about how will it impact us but they want to see what they want and makes them feel satisfied.
I understand. I ignore what she speaks mostly but I also revoke to her thinking. I cross-question on somethings which she doesn’t have the answer to. For example, you said ‘your crying will lead to something bad in the house’, ask her what and how and the logic behind that? If she shouts at you tell her this isn’t what I am asking. If you are saying something which is completely superstitious you would know the reason behind so tell me also, maybe I’ll not cry again if the reason is valid. And then see with time things change. Accepting everything will lead her to speak more when she wants but revoking makes it difficult for her sometimes and she will stop mid-way.
Always respect your parents but if you feel something isn’t right, you should take a stand for that in a respectful manner.
