My grandma is in hospital. Doctors said she might die tomorrow or the day after. She’s above 95 years. I don’t want her to die. She’s very close to me. And My Dad loves her so much Sometimes I am jealous of her. Sometimes she might be harsh but she always wanted her family to be happy. It’s like when they are with you you don’t know there value when they are gone you’ll realise and regret. She’s my inspiration. She’s one of the strongest woman I know. She’s never afraid of anything. I want to become like her. Love you Nannamma😍. I used to call her Queen Victoria👑. I’ll miss her so much:(

Other

rest in peace grandma 

Loss

**How** do I get over a family remembers death. I have my grandmas picture in my room it feels like she’s watching me from it, it’s been a month since her funeral. And I still feel like I’ve should have done more. I keep having to pinch myself because I’m about to start crying typing this. I just feel like it’s my fault. My family thinks I’ve forgot about her. I still think about her everyday. Everyday. I feel like she’s just watching me. 😓😢 I feel like I did something wrong… I love her with all my heart… I don’t know why to do.

Hi..my father got a brain stroke 1.5 years back and half body paralyzed due to that.now he always feels sad and negative about recovery. He is always telling that his life is now destroyed and he will never be fit again. I don't know how to make him happy again.

Mental Health

I feel like the shittiest person in the world. My wife’s grandma was admitted to the hospital a week ago, she was ok, had a bladder infection. They decided to keep her for further tests & to clear out the infection. Three days into her hospital stay, the doctor gave my wife the news no one wants to hear..they had found a cancer.. gastric cancer, stage 3. She has a big family, they were all taking turns staying the night, visiting etc. I thought I was her comfort away from the chaos. I went with her to visit on Wednesday. We were there all day. They gave us hope since the cancer hadn’t spread & everybody was in a better place. My wife was distant with me. I thought she just had too much on her mind & I understood. Today she said she didn’t know how to feel because I wasn’t there for her. To offer night stays so she could come home & rest. Or just to visit or offer any type of help. We are currently on a one car basis. She’s been taking it to the hospital. She’s always made it clear that her family always comes first. So in my mind I believed she needed them closer than she needed me. But I was still here at home to comfort her. I didn’t want to over step in anyone’s way. I love her family, I love her grandma. The news hurt me pretty bad because I lost my grandparents years ago and she is like a grandma to me. I just didn’t know how else to help. I should have asked. I went blank & didn’t mean to. I didn’t meant to hurt her or make it seem like I didn’t care because I do. Her grandma came home today, I was calling & texting for updates. I was so happy to see a video of her finally home. But now I feel like the worst wife, if you can even call me by that title. I don’t do well with bad news, I just kind of… get los in thoughts.. from past experiences, losses, and trauma. And now I don’t know how to fix it. She doesn’t even want to come home to me. How sad is that? I think I blew it. Help. 

Relationships

My father was a farmer and stayed in the village with my mother and grandparents. He sent me to city for studying at a very early age. I get to see only on festivals and special occasions. As a child, living away from their parents, changed a lot in me. I started to remain quiet and still do. Barely talked to my dad.........even in college we talked like only 30sec (about money and health). Never spend time together. Never went on vacation with my family.
And now he is no more. Lost him to corona. I really miss him, wanted to say lot of things to him, wanted to go on vacation with my family. I don't even have a photo with after 3rd class.😞😭😭
I don't know whose fault it was....he was always busy with the work.....even my grandfather didn't feel the need to give my break. I REALLY HATE MYSELF AND SOME PEOPLE IN MY FAMILY.
People just burden one man with a lot of work and when he die, all they say is "he didn't take care of himself" and I am like "You didn't gave him time to do anything else".

Misunderstanding

I lost my father when i was little. My mum took complete charge of the situation and got us settled and everything regardless of what she was going through. I think my mum is the strongest person ever.

Not to well... as everyday I miss my Dad even more. He was my best friend and companion. The one I lived my dreams and goals with. He showed me true love and heart, something that I am wondering if I will find again. Each day that passes I feel emptier as I don't have that person there to talk too and call at lunch to tell him I miss you, love you, how's your day going, how are you feeling, and what do you want for dinner? The simple conversations which brought comfort to my life and love. There is just no one to talk too that had the same connectivity and love for each other; as I always wanted to live with my Pop's (yes, I finally got to move to my dad's at 14 and I wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for him). That's why it is so hard not to feel lonely as the house i bought for us is empty without him. I leave the lights on in our living room where he passed away so he is not left in the dark and everyday I go out to an empty room and glance over wishing he was there..... That's why on Saturday i finally kinda had that feeling of not being alone with no one to talk too lifted from my heart as I got to spend time with an old friend. Her presence felt the void in my heart for a Day, but I think it made me feel worse because it made me realize how lonely I am without someone who cares to talk too. Will there ever be a sense of comfort? Will I find a partner to love and cherish? Will my hearts void me filled with love and companionship once again? I Don't Know!!! My dad's gone and everyday is a struggle to not feel lonely. 

Lonely

I lost my dad to suicide when I was 13. Ever since i cant get it out of my head. No one understands me. I lost so many of my friends bc i lashed out on them. I'm so alone no one to talk to about this. I'm 14 now it gets better then some nights I stay up till 3 screaming into my pillow. All this guilt, pain, regects, fear, sadness, all added up so stressful. All the memories got so hazy. And I'll think about the day I found in the funeral and it makes me think that I'm in them. Sometimes I forget hes gone and I want to ask him something and I cant. I just want someone to talk to. To understand me on this level. But no one cares enough. 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts