"It's up to you to find beauty in the ugliest of days." - Unknown

Mental Wellbeing

I'm just too tired. I lost myself...again 😞

3am Thoughts

Love is like a war easy to start but hard to end

Love

Wish we could really just Skip to the good part! -.-

For the last couple of years, I have felt like an outsider with a certain group of friends I'm in. Some of them, I've known since childhood, unfortunately, they changed. They go to the gym, have their own cars, some of them got promoted in their job. I on the other hand, don't feel like going to the gym so I excercise and try to stay in shape by other means (running and basketball). I don't have a driver's license because I get too nervous when I get to the final exam. It's just the situation of it all stresses me out so I gave up for a bit. I will go back and get a license, eventually, but I don't really want to do it now. Same with the gym. It just isn't my thing. Yet, nowadays, when we get together, I always get judged for things like that, because I'm not like them. Some of them got promoted in their jobs. And now all of a sudden I get constantly asked, when will I get promoted on my job. While these are things I'm working on, there aren't anything mandatory, yet I get this additional pressure. When we were kids and teens, hanging out with them was fine. We would laugh together, do stuff, we didn't have full-time jobs, so we were at least on the same page. And this is the only group this happens in. I have another group of friends that I can just laugh, talk to and enjoy myself. In general I tend to always lighten up the mood with humor, mess around and joke but nothing too serious. But in this current group, I simply cannot be me. Whenever I say something, I get looked down upon, riddiculed. Even now, I went out with them today and we played a board game called "Activity" which is about explaining words with speech, drawing or charades. I am quite bad and drawing and charades, and I tend to overcomplicate things. Yet, after the game was over, they made me explain random words and act stupid for their amusement. When I intentionally do something to make a person laugh, I have no issue, but when I am deliberately made fun of, it really gets me down like I don't belong there at all. So much so that these days, I tend to rarely go out with them. And whenver I feel like, I haven't seen them in a while and we should hang out, something happens that confirms my initial intention to distance myself from them. I just want to be accepted for being me and be treated as an equal. We're not kids anymore, but grown adults. Just because I may not be as succesfull in some areas that they are, doesn't mean I have to strive to be like them. I'm just me with no gimmicks. So yeah, I felt like sharing since, I'm still feeling down cuz of that stupid board game. I just don't understand why this happens with only THIS group. I don't wanna abandon them fully since we stuck together through some hard times, but limiting my interaction with them is probably the best thing I can do.

Insecurity

You can't make a fan of everyone. Stay true to your story, characters, music, art or whatever it is you do and fuck everyone else who doesn't like it. Life isn't perfect.
Life. Life is a show. It's up to you how to make your own story, do your own show and how to live your show you are on. You choose who you need to meet, where you should have your scenes or which scenes you want to do. How awesome your mind can do right?

Mindfulness

it’s so weird when girls post with their cousins like it’s their man

I am feeling more lonely coz of my ex.

so i haven't attended my art classes since like 2 3 months no one knows that and i am scared to attend it 1 bc i would have to give a reason and 2 because whenever they give us a task i cant complete it bc i didn't attend those classes and i would have to show that task what should i do know i am very scared

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts