I’m good for nothing…, and not in a career-related sense, that too but besides I’m a complete blunder of nature…,
Firstly, I’m really ugly and I’m not saying that to garner attention, as I haven’t posted my picture and I’m hundred percent sure I am. Never had a dating life, as if it is something limited to fairytales, no one ever loved me and infact women treat me like swine. Please note I’m not “desperate” or anything but when counting perks of life or lack thereof, it has to be mentioned.
After this realisation (about my face) I thought this is the end of it but no, later I started to gain weight and became a fatso. Over the next few years, even though I’ve succeeded in losing it, I still have a protruding belly and I diet every few months to reduce it: it has become a cycle of gain and loss.
I’m also losing hairs for good and even though I still have follicles, they fallout at insane rate and so I keep my head shaved almost the entire year, only for a few months can anyone see me with full head of hairs.
Now coming to the worst part: my height.
The above insecurities I’ve still coped with, but not thinking about my height seems impossible. And I have a strong reason for it: I’m 5 ft 2 in, merely 157cm and I’m a male so there’s no “You’re a short girl so you’re cute”.
Even schoolgirls are taller than me, I literally feel like a midget and maybe I AM, if we leave out the numbers game.
I tried ending my life earlier, but I always give up at the last moment, apparently I am a coward too, had I had the courage I wouldn’t be writing this post rather I would have ended it a long time ago.
There’s no place for me in this world, I’m literally useless, only breathing and eating and shitting.
I had been good at studies in my school life but that’s a different story, in my college days i was below average and i failed at making a good career even though I’m only 24 I’m pretty sure I’m dumb cuz whatever my peers can do it takes me twice as much time (I’m a computer science graduate, so here it’s about programming/algorithm)
My only hope is that i get infected with covid
