If there is anyone who needs to be propelled into a guiding directions towards meditating or working on improving yourself, please do the Wim Hoff method of breathing or try the inner child meditation by the holistic psychologist. It is available on youtube. Its very triggering and you will feel, like really feel things, so please take time out to journal whatever comes up. just write it down so you dont forget your insights.I hope this helps somebody who needs healing. We all deserve peaceful, tangible lives.