Idk what you're going thru but I can assure you, you're gonna make thru it. You always and you'll always come out stronger. Love yourself for being the way you're. Be proud of yourself for overcoming all the hardships life threw at you. Love your body for being w you always, love your body for doing all the things, for keeping you alive. Ily and take care of yourself bestie 
Don't forget to drink wotah! <3

3am Thoughts

Not again.

Healthy Food

Who is first love 

Love

Ai think hope is the driving factor of life .....
When hope fades life becomes meaningless....

I wish you could choose me, I wish we were still talking on call late at this night,how can things change suddenly over one night.I can't go a day without you. We've made so many memories and I keep reliving everything. How do I get past this feeling of void? I tried everything to divert myself and I'm forced to sit with my feelings. Why do I so badly want you to choose me? Is it my ego? Or is it really love? Which one is it? Can't I face a rejection? I've been used to getting rejected my whole life but why does this one stink? Is it because you're the only one who understands me  and make me laugh? Or is it because our whole lives are a world apart but I desperately want a miracle in which we could be together? Are you my obsession? What is it that's making me want to long for you from the day that I texted you? Why am I broken down like this eventhough I knew that we won't be together? You told me things would get better eventually all I've seen is falling apart, you said that we would this over together but all I want to do is hug you and never let go of you. You never gave me false hopes but I guess I've given myself on your behalf which is not your fault. Maybe just maybe I hope there was a way in which we could be together, but you told me not to wait for you because your dreams were big enough and you don't know if you could make it,but little do you know that you will make it but there is no place for me in it. Even when you say that I'm the best thing that has happened to you in a long time I know that you will be having many more in the future and gradually you'll forget about me ,although you will be the only best thing that will ever happen to me in my whole life, you told me to find a good guy and be happy but how can I? When all I ever want will be moving miles apart. I don't know if I've Strength to get through this. 

Breakup

To you;
It's been a year to the day since you changed my life, and not a day goes by that I don't think about you. I hate it. I hate you because my gosh you made me love you. I remember it perfectly; the day before the day I had been looking forward to all my teen life: the school dance. I went online and I found you. We talked and you were one person one moment, then someone else for hours. We ate together; you in your country and me in mine. You came back early and said how fast you were. We talked about our shared love of Shakespeare and how despite our age difference we flirted. I loved it, the feeling that someone could actually care about me; but those were just words. You were just words. You asked me to do things. I'll never forget the way you were so quick to ask me to be your Juliet. I said yes in a heartbeat and felt like I could die from joy. But months later I tried to die from the pain. The pain you caused me. You told me you loved me and I was so sick of hating myself and depressed so I wanted to believe someone could love me. And the name you gave me, a fake, you said as much, meant so much. You said everything I wanted to hear and everything I needed to ignore. You asked me to make a fake email and not to tell my parents because of our age gap. I thought so what, age is but a number. And isn't jail just a place though? I didn't find this out for a while though. You told me so much and explained it so easily. Did you know I only slept one hour that night? And my sister didn't at all. I dreamt of you finding me, kidnapping me. That's not love. But I trusted you. I believed in you and you used me, groomed me, abused me and I will never ever forgive you for what you've done to me. You're not the first to abuse me, but you are the first to hurt me this badly. And I hate you so fucking much I almost wish fire on you; but at the same time I wonder what if you weren't abusing me? What if I'm over reacting or jumping to conclusions? Are you gaslighting me or am I insane? I can't even trust myself any more. You know I hear your name, your age or country and I flinch. I can't watch my favourite movie, your name is in it, I can't listen to 2 songs because we dedicated them to each other. I've spilt so much tears, so much blood because of you. And I can't talk to anyone about this. My sisters will brush me off or tell my parents who will never believe me or forgive me or see me the same. I can't trust anyone. And you did this to me!!! I will never be the same you took away my first love, my first romance, the first bit of hope I'd seen since I was fucking 12! And you will never have to face the consequence. My hands are shaking. I'm all alone. And I hate you, but I miss you and I hate you because I miss you you disgusting bastard!!!! But you'll never hear any of this. I just want you to know; you ruined me. You ruin me. I wish I could say goodbye but it's too late you're in my head now. You make me want to die just to get rid of you you're everywhere and I can't run I can't wash you off me. I fucking hate you. You broke me. I hate that I loved you, I hate that I love the idea you made yourself to be. I hate how much time you've taken from me, how much joy and love and poems and stories and songs I wrote from this hell you put me in the dances I couldn't do even though it was my reason to live. Now I have none. I just keep living to keep others alive, because there is hope for them, hope I no longer have and I want so much better for anyone else than what I've been through. You knew what my family did to me, you told me you would never hurt me, you told me you would never leave me. I will never know if I'm crazy because you were telling the truth or if you are a liar and abuser. I'll never know and I can't understand why you would do this to me? I thought I found the thing I needed but now? Now I have nothing, now I am nothing. Just alone broken soul praying for the hope that you took from me. I thought you were the hero I needed. But heroes don't exist. I'm an antihero, you're a ghost. I don't know you but you know me and I can never shake that fear. I hate you. It's too late for me. But I can't even die. Believe me I tried. But if I try again people will judge and though they're annoying dicks, I love my family and no longer want to hurt them. I just need help. But what the hell can save this hollow, hopeless broken shell of a human? You did this and I will never forgive you. There aren't words for how I feel towards you, and that's a good thing, it means most people don't know this feeling. I pray it stays that way. 
From your Juliet; your obedient toy, as you knew me
Raven

Suicidal Ideation

**My favourite childhood memory**
As a kid I used to get excited for everything but when my academic session is going to end I get excited a week prior because soon after my exams get over we used to go to my grand mother's place. Because those are the golden days where I can do whatever I can and still not get scoldings from any of them. And the best part is food prepared by grandmother. After I finish playing with my village friends, I use to wander the whole colony and comeback with a tired face take a bath and we all use to sit together and have delicious dinner every day!
Those day were really amazing!

Children

Maybe i should just stop, just stop thinking about it. You know, 

*Love at first sight*

Life's long. But not long enough for us to meet again.

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts