I try so hard to have a better relationship with food. I’ve been trying my whole life. But I just get into bouts of binge eating, then feeling extreme guilt and trying to throw it up. I eat healthy, I exercise, I do everything but I just can’t stop my binge eating bouts. I feel so horrible about myself. Everybody talks about body positivity and I used to feel good about my body, but recently I started feeling unhealthy so I decided I want to be healthier and let’s face it, everybody wants to be thin and pretty. Just hate hate hate hate myself for enabling my binge eating disorder.
It sucks when "food " which is the one thing you understand the most and the one thing that can actually make a shitty day better ends up becoming your enemy and not because you hate it, but because according to societal norms you shouldn’t be eating without thinking of the consequences.
I would suggest you accept the eating bouts you get and try to find a reason as to why you get them? I am sure they are a source of some emotional disaster within you. Once you find it, slowly try to shift to healthier ways to cope with it. I know it’s easier said than done, but for now, I would just say you are not alone in this boat. We all have our own vices, this binge eating makes you more you than any other thing :) Don’t let this overpower your mind’s sanity. You are worth every ounce of happiness out there in the world.
I totally feel you
