I think there’s something wrong with me. I’ve been told by significant others and friends that I’m amoral, or lack morals. I don’t feel sad when someone close to me dies. I don’t get queasy or disgusted when things happen that would invoke feelings of that sort out of other people. I don’t think I am afraid of anything. I hate failure, but I am not afraid of it. I was brought up in a very success driven home, with severe punishments if failure occurred. I don’t know how to open up, and I abandon friendships if the other does not reach out. I used to move a lot in my student days, and I came up with new names sometimes, maybe it was to abandon the friends in the other places. I don’t have a problem with most of ^, but I feel alone some days, and resort to bad habits. My mom was a significant figure on my life, in many ways, and she put my family through some trauma. I’m turning out like her, with a dash of apathy. I like to get lost in fantasy world, but I don’t think of it like that. When I feel a certain way, I read or watch a movie to forget about my life. I don’t think I’m suicidal, but I wouldn’t have any regrets if I died. I think I have psychopathic tendencies, such as I lie for fun, or am apathetic. What could I do to be more normal?
I think defining “normal” would be a good place to start. Because from all that you’ve mentioned, I think you’re doing quite alright.
1) I don’t know what has happened for your friends to think you’re amoral, so can’t really talk about that w/o additional knowledge
2) How one reacts to death or tragedy, doesn’t have to be the same for everyone. You perhaps don’t even know, but maybe you have a different reaction as opposed to your eyes welling up (like most people). Maybe you read a book, or watch a show or do something else to just distract yourself. And honestly, you don’t have to cry if that isn’t your natural reaction and if you don’t want to. I don’t think that makes you a bad person.
3) Maybe you don’t get disgusted by things easily because you’re able to fully understand what the situation is and see it for what it is. And again, perhaps that doesn’t elicit the reaction from you that it would from most people. I don’t see that being a bad thing either.
4) It’s the best reaction one can have for failure. Failure is almost vital to understand and learning and experimenting. No one is really getting much done if they’re not failing or trying something they don’t know how to do. The fact that the severe punishments also couldn’t scare you into being afraid of failure, is in fact commendable. Shows the strength of character, and sense of individuality.
5) I don’t think it’s wrong to abandon friendships when the other person isn’t reciprocating.
All in all, I feel like you’re a strong person who’s built themselves up, over time, to not get affected by things. Maybe the intent is to not get hurt easily. Whatever the reason might be, I don’t think these are reasons for you to classify your thoughts as psychopathic. Do you have the urge to hurt somebody else? If yes, then you should consider talking to a therapist to know for sure whether this is something you should be worried about. Other than that, I don’t think that being stoic or apathetic makes you a horrid person. It’s just another way of life.
Here are some solutions i found on internet to consider:
Determine where your apathy is coming from, and contest its underlying assumptions. Since apathy is fundamentally about attitude, begin to look at yourself and your history from a different perspective. And that’s one in which you offer yourself greater compassion, empathy, and understanding—and possibly forgiveness for any past insensitivities, transgressions, or shortcomings. It’s time to move beyond whatever negative messages you received about yourself in the past and realize that, as long as you don’t set your sights unrealistically high and are willing to apply yourself diligently to whatever is important to you, your success is virtually guaranteed.
Inject some novelty into your routine. Maybe challenge yourself to initiate a conversation with someone at work you don’t know very well. Or change your exercise regimen. Or make some changes in your diet, trying out new dishes or food combinations. Go on a trip, take a long walk in nature. Whatever might give you a new lease on life is well worth your consideration.
Challenge your apathy in every way you can. What turned you on before you were beset with your present malaise? Any friends you’ve lost track of, but always enjoyed talking to—especially if they made you laugh? Any particular music you found appealing? places that inspired you? The more things you try, the more likely you’ll eventually be able to extricate yourself from the binding chains of your apathy.
Recall—and reawaken—happier times when you felt more enthusiastic and alive. What hobbies or leisure-time activities might you once have engaged in that you found exhilarating? It hardly matters what delighted you in the past. Anything at all will do.
Direct your attention to a goal you might pursue right now. Considering your values, aptitudes, and preferences, choose whatever goal might best capture your attention and interest, and help you creatively re-engage with life. Even if it means arbitrarily selecting among three or four things you considered in the past, don’t let yourself anguish. Choose something right now. You can always change your mind later on. What’s imperative is that you lift yourself out of your current morass. Don’t choose anything complex.
See a professional therapist. If, after working with the above suggestions, you’re still unable to escape your apathy, chances are you’re suffering from a deeper, underlying depression. And for this, you probably need to get yourself into counseling.
Some Helpful References below
Davenport, Barnie, “10 Ways to Snap Out of Apathy” (http://liveboldandbloom.com/06/self-improvement/snap-out-of-apathy).
“How to Stop Being Apathetic” (http://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Being-Apathetic).
Radwan, M. Farouk, “What Causes Apathy and How to Deal With It” (http://www.2knowmyself.com/what_causes_apathy).
Young, Scott, “How to Overcome Apathy (If You Can Be Bothered . . .” (http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/how-to-overcome-apathy-if-you-can-be-bo…).
Last but not the least…take spiritual help like medidating, yoga ,shift your focus to know god…it will definitely help to far extent…
hope I am bit helpful to you!
Incase you feel like you need someone to listen your stories and talk to, feel free to ping me !