I think the worst thing about a break-up, is losing a friend. As a guy, I don’t feel like I can be friends with my ex after how she left me. I feel like she doesn’t respect me anymore, that I fell in her eyes, and accepting her friendship only lessens me further. I won’t do that to myself.
Yet it also means living with an ongoing pain, because we were together since college, we loved each other so much, for so long. There are memories I have with her that I will never be able to share with someone else. There were so many moments between us, and even though its over, and we’ve moved on, and don’t want to go back, because it was not a perfect relationship, far from it, in fact. But still, all it takes is a chord of music and I can think back over a decade when we were both so innocent about the future, and my heart breaks all over again. It’s like that person died, and no one else knew them but me. It’s been years now since we spoke angrily and she told me it was over. She hasn’t reached out either, so I know her feelings about me could not have changed much. I wonder if she misses me, but I think if she did, she’d speak to me. That she hasn’t over all this time …
Anyway, on days like today, I just really miss those happier times. I don’t believe its possible to love like that twice and have lost hope that I will be happy, even with someone better, because the experience has changed me. I miss the girl I met all those years ago so much. I miss who we used to be, and how the world seemed.
rayofhope @radh
Breakups are a part of your life. You cannot let it overpower your happiness. I understand that you too were together for so long and then when it’s suddenly gone, it feels empty. But by thinking about it and missing her will break your heart more. If you think there’s a chance of getting back together, talk to her. But if you think she’s gone for good, then don’t give pain to yourself by thinking about it again and again. Engage yourself into some productive work and distract your thoughts. I’m sure you’ll feel the same enthusiasm and energy with the right person. Give yourself time and don’t overthink about the past. It’s gone so let it be in the past.
thank you, I am not sure if I miss the person or the moment, the time and place. But good advice thanks
I truly can understand what you are going through. I have been going through the same. More power to you. Hang in there.
thank you
