Thought

Profile picture for Now&Me member @kavyaganesh

Kavya Ganesh @kavyaganesh

I think my biggest insecurity is regarding gender conformity. I don’t fit into the ideal Indian girl standards at all. This isn’t a ‘I’m tomboyish and society doesn’t accept me for it’ situation, even though that’s what I thought it was a few years ago. The thing that bothers me is that even though I would like to be feminine, my genetics seem to have taken that possibility away from me. I look like my dad, and in that way, I look quite masculine. The short hair, hairy legs and broad hands and feet - they don’t make it any better. I know I don’t have to fit into the cookie cutter standards, but that knowledge doesn’t me from feeling a pang in my heart every time I see a really feminine woman.

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Profile picture for Now&Me member @kavyaganesh
5 replies
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Anonymous

I think this is a very fair and honest view because as much as I may refute it, somewhere I do think the same way. Or at least I subconsciously had started believing it before I put my thoughts in check. Being conventionally more feminine and thought of as attractive, there were still insecurities that I had imbibed unknowingly. 
 
If only I were fairer, taller, shorter (as a child)If only my hair were silkier, longer, straighterIf only I had lighter facial hair
I realised that there would always be someone I’d find prettier than myself or someone that would be used to put me down. I started actually believing that perhaps my worth will be derived from my beauty. Until I didn’t believe it anymore.
I realised that there were many beautiful women in the world. Many conventionally beautiful women but what is it that sets them apart. Take the Miss Worlds/Universes for instance. Even amidst those barbie dolls of women who seemed like carbon copies of each other, there was something that set each of them apart. And that was when we started viewing them as individuals, as people, whose merit derived from who they were. Especially in 2020, I feel, there are a lot of inspiring women who may not be “conventionally” pretty, but are inherently beautiful. Lizzo, Jameela, Demi Lovato to name a few who’ve been such a major source of inspiration for women everywhere. I think Jameela’s initiative iweigh is doing a wonderful job on that front.
 
Beauty is as beauty does, and that is all I have come to believe ?
And my parting words, “The weight of their opinions, depends on your scales.”

Profile picture for Now&Me member @kavyaganesh

Kavya Ganesh @kavyaganesh

Reading that gives me a way to look at myself in a positive way, even though the damage that I’ve done to my own self worth will take some time to heal. Thank you

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Anonymous

I can understand that, but I do appreciate your attempt at trying to look at yourself in a positive way. It is not an easy thing to do, especially once we’ve really felt broken down, so good job on that.

Khushboo @khushboo

Hello, reading your problem make me realise that you don’t accept who you are. One thing i want to tell you is that firstly you have to accept yourself as you are and then the society will understand it. If you are not accepting yourself then how could others? 
Try to think what i am saying and start loving yourself. Have a positive attitude towards your body.

Deepanshi @deepanshigupta0

Hey… Try to give a positive look to yourself. you have to accept yourself as you are and then the society will understand it.
Try to love you more.

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