I just really want to feel something. for some reason I feel like getting into a relationship or meeting random guys would help, but at the same time it seems like I’m trying to cover up a bigger problem with temporary fixes.
If it seems to you that you’re doing that, then I’d say it’s a good chance that’s what you’re doing. Listen to your intuition and try to discover more. Try to find out what the problem is, what are you missing?
You may feel a bit numb, but that can sometimes be a good thing. It’s like, sometimes the ‘water’ (emotion) part of you needs to settle down a bit to let the ‘air’ (cognition, mind) part of you to do a bit of the work and evolving, so that later on when your ‘water’ (emotion) energy becomes more powerful you’re a sharper, smarter person and can use that ‘water’ and feel that emotion in more meaningful, wonderful ways. We all go through periods of ‘anhedonia’ where our bodies or brains adjust or simply run out of energy for a while. Be patient, and continue asking yourself the important questions.
Maybe this is a time to take a break from relationships, even casual random ones, and spend some time figuring yourself out? Go do something alone. Go to a museum or art gallery, or go for a walk in nature, or try reading a couple of books, or watch some lectures or science videos on Youtube to improve your knowledge. In my opinion, you’ll never really ‘lose’ much by taking some time for yourself to learn and grow on your own. It’s true that you can spend too much time doing this and this could make you anti-social, but in general growing on your own will only benefit relationships. You’ll bring more to the table, you’ll be less co-dependent, you’ll expand the range of people you can communicate with, etc.
You could also try writing a diary, and dedicate an hour or 40 minutes a day or something to going through underlying issues or problems you’ve been avoiding, if you direct your mental focus to one at a time, little solutions will almost come up automatically. Our unconscious minds do the work for us a lot of the time. There’s this weird effect people discovered when it comes to computer games and getting stuck at certain points - if players who were stuck somewhere in a game took a break and got some sleep, they found they were MUCH more likely to solve the problem faster than if they kept going at it constantly. Spend some time focusing on your problems then taking breaks, let yourself grow.
Good luck. 🤓
It feels sometimes that we want someone else in order to forget the past and it will be easy to forget the past.
But these kind doesn’t work. The only solution is to tackle with your emotions and problems. Sit with it, ask yourself what could be done in order to feel better and how to see things past it. Running away will make you feel irritated again and again but confronting it will make you feel done and dusted for once and for all.
I do this too and it will certainly make you better off.
I hope it helps! :)