I hope you guys read about what is happening in Sudan. It's a shame that no one is worried about it because Sudan is not USA or China. 

i just came across this news. It needs immediate attention.

It’s only because nations don’t really have a lot
Of export or oil relations with Sudan. Its just known for diplomatic disasters and that’s about it 

Yes, it's because countries don't have better relations with each other. We need to make world a better place by creating peace. 

Other

So how are you all dealing with covid?...it's on peek again! I get anxious sometimes.

Stress

Everything looks so boring these days and there is sense of insecurity in life. Don't know how to bring back pre COVID normalcy in life.

3am Thoughts

Are self rapid tests accurate?? My boyfriend got fever since yesterday evening so today we just did a self rapid test and it shows covid positive. Now am afraid, I dont have any symptoms yet, we both are fully vaccinated though, we are going to take a pcr test un the evening. I actually live in other town which is like 1he from my bfs place, shall I leave to my place now or be with him.

COVID-19

**Fuck** those judgemental padosis.
**Fuck** covid.
**Fuck** those creepos who cant take their eyes off u when u walk even in normal clothes.
**Fuck** those sabziwale bhaiyas who think u dont know how to bargain and give u the worst sabzis making u swear to never go sabzi-shopping again.
**Fuck** those coaching-businesses/murderers of dreams of creative minds.
**Fuck** those retarded molesters getting away with heinous acts in broad daylight, just coz the victim is soft spoken.

**Fuck** myself for not taking a stand for myself when I should have.

So like we have all been stuck at home for the xyz months, how do you guys keep yourself sane? Like how do you motivate yourself? how do you handle your family? how do you break the monotony of life during this fuckall pandemic? 
Please don't come at me with pickup a hobby, exercise, start cooking or talk to family. Trust me I've tried, but no good came out. 

PS: I'm in a new city, fucked up place, no friends and nothing to do. i just graduated so most of my college friends are in different cities busy with their own shit

Currently I am posted in mucormycosis ward. Half of the patients here are operable and other half are inoperable. And inoperable have invasive fungal infection which has spread throughout brain. Initially some of the patients we had, came with infarcts in brain and all we could do was add blood thinning agents to dissolve clots. But I noticed that it's not helping..these patients..so I discussed with consultant and he said you see...it's not the clots/thrombus which is occluding the blood supply to brain...it's the fungus. Yes. And you can't dissolve the fungus and when it's just so extensively present in brain there's not much you can do for these people...which makes me sad. Also we had a 24 year old girl no history' of covid or covid treatment or oxygen intake still had inoperable mucor..turns out she was taking coronil for months to prevent a covid infection and coronil is nothing but a plant based steroid which only made her more susceptible to mucor and she died. 
Sigh. I wish people in India paid more attention to real doctors and not to quacks and baba's.


Work

I lost my dad last year to Covid. He was hospitalised for 3 days , the situation in mumbai wasn't good in April .
When his blood oxygen level went down 
Our Doctor advised us to hospitalise him 
During the second wave 
No private hospital had an Covid ICU available 
Imagine being on a waiting list for Oxygen issues /Covid treatment  
We couldn't find any hospitals 
At one of my uncle   found  one in the suburbs 
We admitted him there 
As it was an urgent situation , we didn't enquire much about the hospital . My dad became very angry the next day ,sayin that no treatment is being given here 
Nothing is working . Where have you admitted me 
Take me home or some other hospital 
We talked to the doctors , the doctor got angry told us to treat him ourselves . 
Hounded us for plasma from Covid recovered patients
Imagine searching for plasma candidates when you yourself haven't recovered fully 
Your whole family members have Covid 
We still got it 
after a week there came a study that showed there was no significant benefit from plasma therapy 
. My dad  kept telling us to shift him to another hospital or take him home
After 3 days we took him home 
We asked some  of our people who were diagnosed earlier and recovered that if we can take him home and continue treatment there 
He needed oxygen 24 hours 
So an oxygen concentrator will be fine 
Doctor said yeah you can do that 
When we reached home , the minute he stepped outside the ambulance he started sweating profusely . He got so agitated 
Shouting people to get a doctor or a nurse 
Or anyone who can help him 
The oxygen concentrator was a rented was as no one had any idea how an oxygen concentrator worked 
No one had used it 
No doctors were ready to come home and check him or help him . They weren't allowed to they said 
His blood oxygen level went to 65
We had to admit him again , this time in a government hospital . As we didn't have even An hour of time to even look for any other hospital 
We just took whatever was available 
He got in 
Said he's fine now , breathing is okay 
Some  cousins talked to him , he was  okay
As it was a government hospital no one was allowed to even see him 
I still don't know what happens inside a government hospital 


Next day morning the hospital staff called , told my brother that situation is critical please come 

After 2 hours they said he's not breathing 
We are giving him cpr there's no response 
Then we were given the news of him passing away 


I checked my dads phone the next day 
He had sent a voice message to one of his friend saying that this hospital doesn't have what's needed to treat him 
Please find a good hospital 
Please help me 
He also called one other  friend at 3 am to tell him that he's here but wants to shift but his phone switched off because of low battery . 
And after that he couldn't reach out to anyone to even tell them that he's in trouble . Imagine not being able to call someone when you really need to 
In life or death situations

In the exhaustive environment of April I don't think even the hospital had enough staff to look after everyone .

He was in guilt that he couldn't get admitted in time
Even after getting admitted he wanted to go home to get away from the hospital . He felt guilty for putting us all in trouble . 


I keep getting flashbacks of how his life might have been during his last days . 

I try to remain functional. But I keep getting sad from time to time . 
This too shall pass 

I hope my dad's soul is resting in peace 🙏🏻 

















I hope everyone is safe and healthy. Take care of yourself and stay at home

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts