I have lost faith that anything good can ever happen to me and I am just tired now. I am done! Fighting this system, fighting myself, fighting my family, fighting everything for just a few moments of peace and solace. I am scared shit of even wanting any more comfort and happiness because I know that it’s going to hurt that much worse if I have to face a life without it. I don’t think I can live anymore if this happens one more time. So I am protecting myself from.never wanting happiness ever again. This will never happen to me again. Never. I am just done! I find myself envying people who lose their memories, crazy people on the road, and just hate being me. I would give anything to be anyone other than the person who has to live inside my head and hear my thoughts. I just want peace but even that is scary sometimes bcuz it dangerously tips me over suicidal thoughts. The only thing that stops me is how mom and dad will feel when they see me dead and I love them to death. But even they keep pressuring me for marriage from time to time so I just want to run away… And that has been the case since forever. I have always wanted to run away. I no longer know where and I am just lost. I have lost. And I am done… Done fighting. Bas… I want peace now. I would give anything to not care this fucking much.
I’m so sorry you feel that way. I can feel how much heartbreak you’re experiencing and it, like, pains me to read this. I wish there was something I could do to help, but it hurts just because I know I can’t. I think it’s because I feel the same way. And I can’t help myself, either.
But you’re not alone. I have hope for you. So if you have hope for me, you and I can keep fighting to get better and feel happy again. Even if your fighting strength can’t come from within, the love and care you feel for your parents, for your own goals and dreams- for your honesty in typing this and your resolve! Even if you can’t find the power in yourself to make change, all of those things can be your source of strength.
I’ll keep cheering for you. So let’s do our best!
I am just fucked up .I want to die. THe only reason I am not dead is that I cant bring my self to be less of a coward and just kill myself and be done with it. I gave up on God, the love of my life, the one I gave my soul to on a platter, crushed and stomped on it, gave me a smile and walked away and told me it all meant squat. all that I did, everything… And jsut completely broke me from everything. I stopped believing in god, and jsut for a moment where I forgot about the troubles of my life for a second and was actually happy, My phone falls with me into water. And now its fucked up. LIFE IS SO FUCKED UP!! GOD IS SO SO AFTER ME!! HE JUST DOESNT WANT ME TO BE HAPPY AND AT PEACE!!! I pay the price for it by having a lot more to feel upset about. and fucked up about. AND the love of my life… he fucked me up along with god pretty good. I am fucking myself up now… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Hi, I am so sorry I couldn’t reply earlier since I wasn’t in the right mental state. Today I found out he is dating the girl he had told me he liked when he broke up with me. He is a womanizer. Really. He is a good person at face value, can say nice nice words, but god, I FREAKING KNEW IT!! I am sort of talking to his kind of best friend who told me this, but seriously, Good riddance. I am glad, I just feel sorry for the girl in me who got played. Who gave up the best years of my life trying to make it work with him… That Jackass and manipulative person that he is. I will rise from my ashes and become bigger than him. Please god I hope he really truly feels all the hurt and pain he caused me. All the sorrow all the hurt, I hope it kills him from the inside atleast a fraction of the pain that he caused me to suffer from. Just because I cared too much. God save me from such people. I really hope you are in a better place too. I have hope that you will know whatever left was not good for you. And I have a strong belief that you will find a great person who loves you. who is as sincere and honest with you and puts their weight behind their words and loves you the way to deserve to be freaking cherished. Lots of Love :)
Hi, thanks for sharing your problem with us.
Please don’t be demotivated. Don’t lose real you. Just focus on yourself. Let these incidents don’t affect you.
Love your parents and love yourself.