i got married when i was 20. im 21 now. i just found out that im pregnant five days back. i have been crying since then. i feel terrible. we were never realy ready for a baby. Since i come from muslim orthodox family abortion is a sin. but i have somehow convinced my parents. my marraige was going down the hill. its started moving smooth after meeting a theraoist and thats whne we found out im pregnant. we really dont want a child. im scared that abortion will scar me forever. my family member has made me feel so guilty saying that how can i take life of a living thing. and that i would always remeber this day and always keep wondering how this child would have been like if it was alive. please someone give me an answer.
If marriage is normal, so is abortion okay.
There is nothing wrong in it. Please stop thinking about how it’s gonna ruin your life and rather think about the new start you are gonna get after it. There is nothing to be guilty of okay sis? Life’s unpredictable. You’re gonna be a mother when the perfect time comes. It’ll be beautiful then. For now, enjoy your life.
Abortion is normal. I wish you all the best and sending tight hugs rightaway.
Get an abortion. If you’re not ready, you will not be able to raise the child right and that’d scar the kid. I suggest you have a child when you’re ready and give them the life they deserve. If you, however, decide to have the kid, remember that you’ll not be able to raise the kid properly because you’ll be dealing with your emotional baggage in addition to caring for the kid. Better “scar yourself”(i wont say it like that but since, you know, your background and family), than the kid’s whole life by not being a good parent.
Please do not be offended, i said all this because I’ve seen my parents try their best to raise me and i know that they are trying their very best but i also know they are doing it wrong. It has given me several mental health issues like ADHD, executive dysfunction and maladaptive daydreaming, anxiety and several more to name. What im trying to say is, these issues are severe enough to fuck up my life and my will to live, I’m also struggling with depression because of this. This is why i say, dont have children when you’re not ready, and another life tip(i know you didn’t ask but) is that let kids be kids, you dont have to be harsh on the kids just to prepare them for the harsh world, be their comfort. Often times the ‘preparation’ for the harsh reality becomes harsher than the actual reality, so much so that the actual harsh reality becomes an escape.
how to let go of the guilt. what if i regret after abortion. what if i feel like hwo the baby would have been like. im just emotionally fucked at the moment?
Okay so maybe think about the things a baby needs when it comes into the world? Are you financially ready for the baby? Are you okay with the baby taking over your life right now? Coz a baby will need time, money and love. And in the end if you think abortion is what you want right now then do it. If the baby maybe won’t have a decent life… Then you’ll be saving the life
Hey, im also muslim, and I understand what you mean. Have you tried to dm imam suhaib Webb? his instagram is @suhaib.webb
He is very supportive and non-judgmental, and I think he can give you a fatwa. I promise you, you are not alone. Im here for you.
What matters is what you think! It’s your body , your egg. If your family can’t support your decision then don’t listen to them. Its yours and your husbands decision, he has a say , but the final choice is yours. Abortion is not a sin!! Its okay to get abortion ! Why? Because you are saving the child from future problems which might arise because you weren’t ready. You are still young, live your life , and think about how your child will be if he/she comes into this world. And technically at this point its just an embryo, not a child, SO you are not killing any child.
Do it! It better to not bring a child who won’t be loved and then they will be left in the system. Family can judge all they can but they won’t be there for you at your hardest times. The only one that can judge us is ourselves
