I got away from my toxic family, but in my head, I’m still there. Still constantly getting yelled at, still begging my mother to love me or show me some type of affection. I’m still being woken up in the middle of the night by my stepdad just for him to molest me bc my mom wouldn’t give him what he wanted. Im still begging my family to believe me about my uncle touching me. Im still begging my mom to realize that the only thing I ever wanted was for her to love me. Im still fighting with my brother day in and day out. Im still cutting myself at night because I feel so alone. In my head I never left. I can’t seem to snap into reality. I’m just tired. I’m genuinely trying so hard to be happy. Every time I feel the slightest bit like I’m gonna be okay it all just gets washed away and Idk how to fix myself. It’s just that in my head, Im still in a really dark place and Im not quite sure how to bring myself out of it. I try to block it out and some days it works but then there are days like today where out of no where I feel completely hopeless. I dunno I probably sound crazy.
Shreya Vajpai @crotchetydu...
Hey love, has therapy helped? These are lot of traumas to deal with and I’m so sorry you had to go through them.
Due to personal reasons I can’t go to actual therapy at the moment. I used to have them but they never helped bc they were my mothers therapist as well.
Shreya Vajpai @crotchetydu...
You need to find a therapist that suits you. Try checking out for alternatives online… the only way to deal with trauma and move on and not have them interfere with your present life is to address them and therapy will help you do that. Good luck to you!
