I feel so trapped between the truly real and seemingly real voices.I want to escape the situation, I try to avoid facing the dilemma, but no matter how hard I run, eventually I stop at the middle of the road.

dont stuff your head with a lot of things. you are dealing with a lot of things that you cant think straight. untangle tye strings, take one step at a time and decide what do you want. it'll help.

I think there is something thats haunting you but you need to get over it because thats the only way you can be truly happy

Mental Illness

Any one feeling too much too sensitive???

3am Thoughts

I have been feeling soo stressed and exhausted lately. Am I supposed to deal with family drama or should I take time to deal with my educator who is confused himself or should I try and focus on internship opportunities or should I deal with the anxieties that come with being a 20 year old. Like what do I do. 
I know I should probably try to relax but I feel like I don't know how to do that anymore. I have gone through and am going through enough to know that I probably need a therapist to work through certain issues. But I cant do that cause I stay with my parents and they aren't exactly that kind to understand the importance of mental health.  How do I take things one step at a time when I don't have the peace(physically and emotionally) to do the first thing? 
At the same time, I feel guilty about having what feels trivial when people in places like Afghanistan are going through literal hell right now. 
I am unable to concentrate on anything. My mind is a mishmash of everything and nothing all at once and I can't get myself to feel anything positive.

Mental Wellbeing

Idk how am feeling rn , I feel as if my life has no purpose, and idc tbh like I beat myself up every damn minute for it , saying things like why aren't you doing this why aren't you studying why aren't you working out why aren't you doing your to do list why didn't you shower today why didn't you go for a run this morning, I just don't do anything at all the whole day and then just sit and ask myself why I didn't, ik it's stupid and many of yall will just ask me to get up and go do it all or do one thing at a time but I just don't care enough ig , am done with life at this point, I don't feel like i belong here and I don't feel like doing anything and feel as if am the worst person on planet earth for all the bad things I have done in my past and for the fact that I just sit at home having chips and soda for lunch dinner and snacks and play games and watch reels and do absolutely nothing... 
Hating the way I look everytime I look in the mirror, knowing damn well what I can do to look better but not doing it.. idk what's wrong with me at this point and no matter how many people here just tell me or scream thier throats out , i can't care less... Sorry if this sounds rude but whenever someone says something good to me I just have no reaction and i just don't care about it , those words just don't matter idk why 
I wanna change but I don't feel like it and just feel like killing myself:)

Failure

Why am I not myself when I’m sober? Why do I need to be fucked to be happy? Why do I need a cross-fade to feel free? 
Every day from August til yesterday I was sober and it was the worst I’ve felt in years. 
If I’m sober I’m so depressed I can’t get up. I finally have a goal, I finally don’t want to die. Why do I have to be destined to a life of depravity?

Addiction

I think my body is deteriorating. I feel occasional chest pains. But all these are due to my ungrateful lifestyle. I am killing my own self slowly. 

Don't know what to do...
I wanna end.....my....

Depression

I feel stuck in life ! Sometimes I wish to do so many things!! Painting, photography, writing .. I feel I dnt have any talent !! I am good at nothing rather than being boring and lonely!! I have no one to share my thoughts!! Ehen I try to express how I feel I am being mocked !! People around think I am not mature !! I like living with nostalgia!! Whatever I do wherever I go !! I just keep dreaming!! I always have thoughts in mind!! I am not 100 persrnt in present! I don’t like living jn present !! I

Nostalgia

Hey, joined this platform today. Hoping some light on my issues! 
I am in a dump. I had a terrible break up. It has been 2 yrs, almost. Everything still feels ugly. I have turned into this unhappy person who is cluless about her own future. Always crying and cribbing. Family and friends have been a great support but this gripping feeling of nothing-will-change remains constant. 
I have career plans but I am not working hard enough for them, instead I am not working at all. Left my job 4 months ago. What really bugs me the most is why am I still stuck on the past. I know I must let go but it is not happening. 
All this stress has affected my health. I have developed several illness and I want to work on it but I am unable to! Always demotivated, stressed, sad, cribbing, zero self confidence, constantly dwelling over the past! How do you stop thinking about the trauma your loved one has caused you? 

I turn 30 early next year and this expectation of getting married is weighing me down. I am scared for the future all the more because I want a career, love and peace but I just don’t see it happening. 
Eveytime I feel I am moving on, something or the other brings me down. Just last week I heard he got engaged. I spent the entire week obsessing over different scenarios of me accidentay meeting him. This is so stupid. Society dictates that a woman of my age must act mature, bring myself together and move on. 
I REALLY want to do that. Feel normal again but it is not happening. I feel like shit. Used. Betrayed. Treated badly. Disrespected. Afraid that this will happen again. 
I’ll stop here. Message got too long! 


Thanks for reading. 










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