I feel really helpless. These past two weeks, Iโve been having a depressive episode. Usually they donโt last longer than a few days, but I feel like Iโm getting worse day by day. The things that used to make me happy, the things that I used to do are not giving me joy or helping me feel better. I keep getting into arguments with my family and I feel like Iโm hurting everyone around me. I am failing horribly in school because I sleep through days. I feel so tired, so exhausted. I have tension headaches, so thoes arenโt helping at all. Especially since they usually last a long time (2 days at most). I hate social interactions, now. I never used to, Iโm a pretty social person, but now, having conversations is exhausting. I want to be left alone, but my family doesnโt seem to understand. And the ironic thing is, I feel so lonely. Iโm talking to thin air as if someone was actually with me. Iโm making scenarios, pretending Iโm happy and with people I love. Itโs gotten so bad that Iโm paranoid Iโm in one of my scenarios and in reality, Iโm in public, doing something embarrassing. To make those thoughts pass, I pinch myself to reassure myself Iโm awake. And itโs causing me to bleed and scar. And even dreaming doesnโt make me feel that way. I usually fall asleep at 6 pm cause Iโm so tired. Then I wake up at 2 am. Then from then on, I canโt sleep and I end up staying up most of the day, napping on and off. I donโt know what to do to make me feel better. Iโm also paranoid about something else. Iโm really close with my dad, and I donโt know why, but I keep thinking that if something happens to him, Iโll have no choice but to kill myself if I lose him. Heโs by far the only person keeping me going. I canโt even go to people and talk to them cause I feel like a bother. And my best friend isnโt doing anything to help me. Iโm so lost and confused, I donโt know what to do.
Hey! Just take a deep breath first and drink some water.
Starting tomorrow try to push yourself to go for a run or walk early morning say by 5 am. Anyways you wake up by 2 am. So 5 am should not be a problem! Do this for 3 days continuously and then let me know how you feel.
Always remember that your happiness is solely in your hands!
Thank you ๐๐
Did u go for a walk or run?