I feel pretty alone and i really wanna talk to my ex but i know i shouldn't
It will be better for the both of us if i dont.

Closure is such a confusing thing. Sometimes talking about your ex really is cathartic. Focus on the bad not the good. Because he’s your ex for a reason.

Other

When a guy whose your good friend texts you everyday with good morning or replying to stories and you aren’t interested in having a conversation with him daily as you find it boring. Also when that guy has a girlfriend already yet he finds reasons to text everyday. Then how to deal?

Mental Wellbeing

So I am extremely confused. I have this date with a guy. But I feel like I am betraying my parents by going out with him. They have made sure I stay at home and be a good girl. They have restricted me all life but ik they did it to protect me. But idk. What should I do. I feel this guilt. 

Confusion

Okay so long story short i was in a 4 year relationship but i broke up with him 4 months ago because he didn't use to give me attention i was the one doing all the efforts and many more things
But after 1.5 months i found a boy who was giving world to me is very caring and genuinely likes me. We came in relationship but the guilt of leaving my 1st boyfriend was taking a toll on me. I was feeling guily because i was happy and he was not he was in his proper break up phase. Which i didn't like cause i care about him i have know him for 6 years(2ys friends then 4 yrs of relationship)
Now, the current situation is he is again back in my life as friends and the second guy is also in my life as friends and its fucking up my head who do i choose do i even have to even choose one


3am Thoughts

Its about time . His haldi function is today,  engagement  is on Thursday and then Shadi.  Why am i still awaiting  a last-minute  turn around.  He is doing for his mom's happiness, who is embarrassed  enough  by her elder son's  inter faith wedding not working out well. So her younger  son is bound by it and she started risking  her health in all this.  I so much so want something to happen  that she is happy to accept me. He is not happy  either.  I accompanied him last few days for shopping  of his wedding  only to spend more time with him. I wanted to even see him today but couldn't.  It's getting  very tough now.  What would i do post his shadi

Love

The last call of our ...in mid  night of 19nov. after 5months ...the call was on ...he said "JAAN"...My eyes were full of tears , my body was shivering...i tried to control and didn't want to get him know what was I feeling that tym ...he seemed me normal and cool ...he casually said to me "comeback...i will handle all the things and sorry that i couldn't call you or be in contact you for a long tym etc etc".
I also pretended that " I was okay ... nothing to be worry"...but i know we both were having tears in our eyes...i made him to promise me that "he will never drink or smoke because of girl and never hurt himself" and he replied me "YES" & the call ended after 1 or 2 hour.
The ironical part was... At that tym i was having ciggerate in my hand and sleeping piles by my side and tears in my eyes ...🙂yeah ... that was... THE NIGHT...🥀

Memories

my ex broke up 4 weeks ago he said that he is not gonna say bye forever and we can still be friends bc basically he lost feelings and didn’t know his feelings and he had a lot of stuff in his mind… so he broke up w me and then he started following girls bc we had an arguing that i went to his phone and all i saw was girls and he stopped and unfollowed them all now he is back but ik is not my business but he unfollowed me on instagram and the same day i replied to his story saying he looks handsome he only said thanks and couple hours he unfollowed me and now i woke up and it said pending from snapchat like i don’t understand. 

Breakup

its been 18 days i havent talk to the person i love the most because he said he dont want to talk to me anymore every day i remember our late night talks our fights  our video calls phone calls i dont know how to bring that things back i am feeling that i lost him but i dont want to lose him i genueinly love him i dont know what to do 

Depression

okay hi, quick vent.
so i have an ex. right yeah?
we will call him sir William poopybutthole
anyways, so sir William poopybutthole and i have been broken up for a few months now. i think its been since june? anyways, i was looking through some old messages of him and i. i just realized it hurt yk? not in a way of "omg i miss you please come back". it was more of, i miss the physical connection we had. i miss the gross and weird stuff. i don't miss sir William poopybutthole i miss the contact. i miss the way a human would hold me and shiz. i have MAJOR issues in my life, and i starve for love and affection because i didn't really get it when i was younger. i think that's also a reason why sir William poopybutthole and i had such bad issues. it's because i literally fall for whatever guy tells me pretty. i just think, none of it was him. wait, maybe like a little bit? i don't know maybe 50-50? it kinda ranged of how toxic one of each other was. the thing is we dated for 2 years. it was so hard, because the relationship was so toxic i just became toxic myself and it sucked and i hated it. i wanted to leave so hard so many times, because i hated everything about that relationship. but i loved him so much, i loved him with my soul. then, we just had so many problems. plus, it was hard, because im a feminist right? i believe in equality, like TRULY believe in equality.  i feel like women should be paid the same, men can cook and clean too. women are not slaves. ANYWAYS. we had so many stand points where his views where either just straight up misogyny or homophobic. like women on women okay, you may think thats hot but WAIT men on men? HOW DARE YOU how dare you.... im just saying, love who you love you know. it's just we were so toxic. then in the beginning of the relationship you have that stupid ass honeymoon stage. i fell and i fell so hard. i actually fell IN LOVE. then 2 years later we broke up. i miss love, i miss the feeling of someone actually caring and loving me. it's legit because i can't love myself no matter how much i INTENSELY try, 
i need thearpy. 
anyways it's currently 4:30 in the morning and i have to be up at 7 then i got to go to school then i have to be home around 3. then im taking a nap. so i have to be up for a max of 12 more hours. i got this, im just going to chug a shit ton of redbull and prob get a heart attack. 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts